How important are AA meetings?
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 16
How important are AA meetings?
This is my 3rd day sober and it's rough but I'm doing it. I posted my story in the Newcomers board so I feel odd repeating it. LOL But to make a long story short I drank at least 6 glasses of wine a night (4 oz glasses). Usually every night. I would just drink until the wine was gone or I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I very rarely had hangovers so that was never a deterrent. The blackouts were the big thing that made me quit. That and my husband is not a drinker and was fed up with me being drunk and was constantly making comments about it. I haven't physically told him that I quit drinking but he has seen my computer (tabs open for this site and others about alcoholism support) and my messages to the 1 friend that I have talked to about it (she just went through rehab for drinking and I felt like she could relate and she has been very supportive). He hasn't said anything about it but seems cautiously relieved and happy to see me not drinking anymore. Maybe one day we'll discuss it but I'm not sure I'm ready yet. So far I'm just telling myself not to drink and I'm not going to lie - at 5pm (my normal drinking time) I'm going crazy but so far I'm getting through. Reading these forums help SO much! I have young kids and it's hard to get to an AA meeting this week because they are on holiday break. I'm going to try and go to one next week when they go back to school so I can go during the day. I'm just hoping that it's ok that I wait that long. I also wonder if I can do this without AA. Can I do it with online meetings and stuff? Do the face to face meetings help so much more? What are your thoughts?
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Liz, it is possible to get sober without support but it is not something I would recommend. I became sober with zero support but it is not a scenario I would want to repeat.
When my life situation became manageable, I sought out SR. I was a little over two years into sobriety at that time; it was then that the true 'work' of recovery took place - learning why I used alcohol as a coping tool - why I lacked confidence in myself to face life and it's challenges without a crutch. I owe a great deal to the wonderful people who share on this site.
My thought is that you should investigate support options and find the one that works for you.
If you absolutely cannot get to AA until after Jan. 1st, stay close to SR - read, post, reply.
Rooting for you, Liz.
When my life situation became manageable, I sought out SR. I was a little over two years into sobriety at that time; it was then that the true 'work' of recovery took place - learning why I used alcohol as a coping tool - why I lacked confidence in myself to face life and it's challenges without a crutch. I owe a great deal to the wonderful people who share on this site.
My thought is that you should investigate support options and find the one that works for you.
If you absolutely cannot get to AA until after Jan. 1st, stay close to SR - read, post, reply.
Rooting for you, Liz.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Hi Liz
AA has helped me a lot.
There is something about face to face help that I believe benefits me.
Having said that, many people do great without and go with an online forum or online program such as AVRT
Definitely worth checking out AA in my opinion though, especially if you'd like to get to know some new sober friends who will be there for you when things get rough.
AA has helped me a lot.
There is something about face to face help that I believe benefits me.
Having said that, many people do great without and go with an online forum or online program such as AVRT
Definitely worth checking out AA in my opinion though, especially if you'd like to get to know some new sober friends who will be there for you when things get rough.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
AA is good for some. not so good for others. this is debated, but the key is, you will have to find out what works for you. AA is free, and welcoming. just remember that anyone who tells you there way is the only way is WRONG.
at 5pm, what you are feeling is withdrawl. it will cause you to rethink your choices. there is an uncomfortable hump to get over before this subsides. drinking resets the clock.
if you have the means, i recommend the book "Alcohol Lied to Me", by Craig Beck. -an easy read and easy to implement. it was a great starting point for me.
at 5pm, what you are feeling is withdrawl. it will cause you to rethink your choices. there is an uncomfortable hump to get over before this subsides. drinking resets the clock.
if you have the means, i recommend the book "Alcohol Lied to Me", by Craig Beck. -an easy read and easy to implement. it was a great starting point for me.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
AA is helpful, but it is not the only way to stop.
Go if you're curious and then make a decision. I went to meetings for the first four months and they were really helpful. I stopped going, but the tools I learned are still with me.
Go if you're curious and then make a decision. I went to meetings for the first four months and they were really helpful. I stopped going, but the tools I learned are still with me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Hawks 
Hi Liz
AA has helped me a lot.
There is something about face to face help that I believe benefits me.
Having said that, many people do great without and go with an online forum or online program such as AVRT
Definitely worth checking out AA in my opinion though, especially if you'd like to get to know some new sober friends who will be there for you when things get rough.
AA has helped me a lot.
There is something about face to face help that I believe benefits me.
Having said that, many people do great without and go with an online forum or online program such as AVRT
Definitely worth checking out AA in my opinion though, especially if you'd like to get to know some new sober friends who will be there for you when things get rough.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Originally Posted by LizWM126
What is AVRT about? I found SMART Recovery and that looks interesting. I may try to fill out the worksheets for that this week and then next week when the kids go back to school go to an AA meeting while they are in school.
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
AVRT is a tool, a technique to deal with the "voice" that tells you insane stuff such as "Drink!!""you'll be fine now" "see? you can quit fort three days, so that means you can now drink again because clearly you have total control"
Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
go down the forums to "secular connections" and you'll find threads about it there.
Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
go down the forums to "secular connections" and you'll find threads about it there.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Addictive Voice Recognition technique
(I think that's what it stands for)
It's that little voice in your head that goes " time for a glass" at around 5 pm.
In AA circles they call the little voice "mental obsession "
Just two different ways of saying the same thing really.
(I think that's what it stands for)
It's that little voice in your head that goes " time for a glass" at around 5 pm.
In AA circles they call the little voice "mental obsession "
Just two different ways of saying the same thing really.
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
When I got sober I was at a point where it was impossible for me to continue living the way I was. Not drinking wasn't really even a consideration. Feeling better and being able to function again in the world was all I wanted. Alcohol, as far as I was concerned, was still the only solution I had to all that ailed me, regardless of the fact that I knew it was no longer working. Alcohol was my medication.
I wound up in detox, and the only prescription that was handed to me on my way out was a recommendation that I get my butt in a rehab, and start going to AA. Having what some people call "the gift of desperation", I listened and did what they said. I was terrified. I hated AA, but I went with a completely open mind, and a ton of willingness. 30 sober years later, I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am that I was put on that path.
My first year sober I needed to build a strong foundation. I needed people to be with, learn from, socialize with, start building a life with. People who understood what I was going through. My social circle that entire first year WAS AA. I met some really good people there, and they held my hand until I was able to walk on my own again. In my case that actually took over a year. I went however from someone who was completely non functioning and suicidal, to someone who enrolled in college, graduated, became a teacher, traveled to many parts of the world, lived out some of my childhood fantasies, got married to an awesome woman, became a landlord... my list could go on and on. I did countless things I'd never even considered doing. Things I was certain my first sober year were impossible. Only reason any of that happened though, was because I changed and grew on the inside.
The world to me when I first got sober seemed like a very lonely place sans alcohol. There was not a single thing I wanted to do, that didn't involve alcohol. Nothing. Even things that most people DO without alcohol. AA opened the door to an entirely different world that slowly taught me how to enjoy my life without a drink. I don't know of anywhere else that I could have or would have gotten that much needed training.
Last note, the 12 steps, which you may or may not already know about were a crucial part of my recovery. It's not a requirement to utilize these steps in order to be an AA member or go to meetings (many don't), but it's a good idea to look into them. In my experience, people who have serious drinking problems don't get better by putting the drink down. They usually actually get worse. People recover from alcoholism by changing the person who needed to drink in the first place. The 12 steps is a means of doing that that I'm absolutely certain works. It's not however the only way.
I wish you the best.
I wound up in detox, and the only prescription that was handed to me on my way out was a recommendation that I get my butt in a rehab, and start going to AA. Having what some people call "the gift of desperation", I listened and did what they said. I was terrified. I hated AA, but I went with a completely open mind, and a ton of willingness. 30 sober years later, I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am that I was put on that path.
My first year sober I needed to build a strong foundation. I needed people to be with, learn from, socialize with, start building a life with. People who understood what I was going through. My social circle that entire first year WAS AA. I met some really good people there, and they held my hand until I was able to walk on my own again. In my case that actually took over a year. I went however from someone who was completely non functioning and suicidal, to someone who enrolled in college, graduated, became a teacher, traveled to many parts of the world, lived out some of my childhood fantasies, got married to an awesome woman, became a landlord... my list could go on and on. I did countless things I'd never even considered doing. Things I was certain my first sober year were impossible. Only reason any of that happened though, was because I changed and grew on the inside.
The world to me when I first got sober seemed like a very lonely place sans alcohol. There was not a single thing I wanted to do, that didn't involve alcohol. Nothing. Even things that most people DO without alcohol. AA opened the door to an entirely different world that slowly taught me how to enjoy my life without a drink. I don't know of anywhere else that I could have or would have gotten that much needed training.
Last note, the 12 steps, which you may or may not already know about were a crucial part of my recovery. It's not a requirement to utilize these steps in order to be an AA member or go to meetings (many don't), but it's a good idea to look into them. In my experience, people who have serious drinking problems don't get better by putting the drink down. They usually actually get worse. People recover from alcoholism by changing the person who needed to drink in the first place. The 12 steps is a means of doing that that I'm absolutely certain works. It's not however the only way.
I wish you the best.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
how important are aa meetings ?
good question, i thought about this as even in aa its own members can have such strong views about how important aa meetings are
i would say aa meetings are the most important thing in the world to an alcoholic who has nothing left and no one left as it gave me a place to go to and to be with people who helped me directly
there not so important to people who still have a lot left to lose, they dont need the help and support aa can give at times like someone who comes into aa gets who has nothing so they can go to meetings take them or leave them as the program seems to give them all they need to carry on
it will very much depend on what level you come into aa in my eyes as to how much value people will put into aa meetings
i have been to one meeting this after noon and i am taking someone to a meeting tonight
not because i am scared of picking up a drink but because its part of my life these days and as i am not working there is no were else i would rather be to be honest than out there trying to help someone else
but then i did come into aa with nothing i had no computer, no money, no family, nothing other than a place to sleep with a mattress that was covered in sick and pee stains
not a very pretty picture but its what the drink did to me
but more and more there are people in aa who i dont identify with there drinking but there in the meetings and aa is helping them just as much as it helps me so give it a try what do you have to lose other than a bit of time ?
if it doesnt work out then there are plenty of other options around these days and if you have money still, then the sky is the limit for help that is around
good luck to you
good question, i thought about this as even in aa its own members can have such strong views about how important aa meetings are
i would say aa meetings are the most important thing in the world to an alcoholic who has nothing left and no one left as it gave me a place to go to and to be with people who helped me directly
there not so important to people who still have a lot left to lose, they dont need the help and support aa can give at times like someone who comes into aa gets who has nothing so they can go to meetings take them or leave them as the program seems to give them all they need to carry on
it will very much depend on what level you come into aa in my eyes as to how much value people will put into aa meetings
i have been to one meeting this after noon and i am taking someone to a meeting tonight
not because i am scared of picking up a drink but because its part of my life these days and as i am not working there is no were else i would rather be to be honest than out there trying to help someone else
but then i did come into aa with nothing i had no computer, no money, no family, nothing other than a place to sleep with a mattress that was covered in sick and pee stains
not a very pretty picture but its what the drink did to me
but more and more there are people in aa who i dont identify with there drinking but there in the meetings and aa is helping them just as much as it helps me so give it a try what do you have to lose other than a bit of time ?
if it doesnt work out then there are plenty of other options around these days and if you have money still, then the sky is the limit for help that is around
good luck to you
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
They're always there. I went to a meeting this morning. There was a time when it was daily and my primary support. Now it's SR daily but if somebody swore by quilting to stay sober I'd try that. Whatever works. The rawness of life w/out alcohol is daunting. We all smart a little from the beating but getting better together is what we're all about here. Welcome.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
SMART recovery has online meetings. They might have face-to-face meetings near you too. List of online meetings: Online Meetings & Events
I feel more supported at face-to-face meetings. But online meetings can be convenient, and it's not uncommon for people to feel too much shame or fear initially to go to meetings.
I tried all the meetings near me (SMART, LifeRing, Women for Sobriety, AA, and NA) and then decided which ones helped most.
I feel more supported at face-to-face meetings. But online meetings can be convenient, and it's not uncommon for people to feel too much shame or fear initially to go to meetings.
I tried all the meetings near me (SMART, LifeRing, Women for Sobriety, AA, and NA) and then decided which ones helped most.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Joe Nerv
Last note, the 12 steps, which you may or may not already know about were a crucial part of my recovery. It's not a requirement to utilize these steps in order to be an AA member or go to meetings (many don't), but it's a good idea to look into them. In my experience, people who have serious drinking problems don't get better by putting the drink down. They usually actually get worse. People recover from alcoholism by changing the person who needed to drink in the first place. The 12 steps is a means of doing that that I'm absolutely certain works. It's not however the only way.
I wish you the best.
I wish you the best.
I totally agree as this is what so many base their sobriety on. My sponsor says application, application, application!
It works if we work it.
BE WELL
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: BALTIMORE
Posts: 46
The thing I like about AA is that I strive to be a better person, and I can see it working in all areas of my life. This is what I lost sight of, and promptly relapsed. Been struggling for a year and a half since, and in no small part because I was too ashamed to admit that I had stumbled. I'm currently waiting for my second meeting to start in 15 minutes. I've found that holding myself accountable to the friends I've made through AA is huge, especially in early sobriety. Just my $.02. Good luck to you.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
AA isn't for everyone, but there's no doubt you will find support there if you go that direction. I personally haven't been to any AA meetings since detox and I don't plan to, but I respect AA and think it can be very helpful to a lot of people. Although I don't think AA is needed for every person, as were all different. Find what works for you and you recovery.
I wish you the best of luck!
I wish you the best of luck!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
AA isn't for everyone, but there's no doubt you will find support there if you go that direction. I personally haven't been to any AA meetings since detox and I don't plan to, but I respect AA and think it can be very helpful to a lot of people. Although I don't think AA is needed for every person, as were all different. Find what works for you and your recovery.
I wish you the best of luck!
I wish you the best of luck!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
That and my husband is not a drinker and was fed up with me being drunk and was constantly making comments about it. I haven't physically told him that I quit drinking but he has seen my computer (tabs open for this site and others about alcoholism support) and my messages to the 1 friend that I have talked to about it (she just went through rehab for drinking and I felt like she could relate and she has been very supportive). He hasn't said anything about it but seems cautiously relieved and happy to see me not drinking anymore.
First off, good job on your sober time. Listen to the wise folks here. If anyone knows how to do the hard work and live in sobriety, they are a great source of wisdom.
The highlighted section refers to your husband, which I would like to address as someone from the "other side" as it were. Alcoholism truly is a family disease.
There are many places for him to seek support for himself. Both here
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
And also in the real world, whether you decide AA is right for you or not.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings
Anyway, best wishes to you in your quest for sobriety. Leave this open for your husband to see the next time he snoops. Tell him Ladyscribbler said so.
First off, good job on your sober time. Listen to the wise folks here. If anyone knows how to do the hard work and live in sobriety, they are a great source of wisdom.
The highlighted section refers to your husband, which I would like to address as someone from the "other side" as it were. Alcoholism truly is a family disease.
There are many places for him to seek support for himself. Both here
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
And also in the real world, whether you decide AA is right for you or not.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings
Anyway, best wishes to you in your quest for sobriety. Leave this open for your husband to see the next time he snoops. Tell him Ladyscribbler said so.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler
Anyway, best wishes to you in your quest for sobriety. Leave this open for your husband to see the next time he snoops. Tell him Ladyscribbler said so.
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