Squig

Down the drain. I caved on Christmas Eve, and had my last beer this morning. No more booze left in the house, and I'm not getting more. This season is hard, and I have more on my plate than usual. I let it be an excuse to drink, and four days later, here I am kicking myself. To those who are struggling, take my advice- don't pick up. Nothing but regret, and it sucks having to start over again. I know it's hiding behind a keyboard, but I felt the need to get it off my chest.

Hevyn

You're not hiding Squig. Sometimes this is what needs to happen - I know I needed further proof that I really couldn't touch it. All attempts at moderation led to danger and misery. You sound ready to get back to your sober life - you're going to do it.

SoberLeigh

Never, ever give up, Squig. Get back on track.

Do you have a plan? Does it include face to face support? Try to utilize SR to its fullest - read and post. Don't forget SR is 24/7/365; reach out.

Serenidad

It's hard Squig...very hard. I only have 3 weeks today so I definitively understand! Do you have any face to face support?

Squig

I know of a place that has meetings through midnight. I don't see sleep in my future, so I'll probably end up there.

Squig

My father and I are very close. He's always been supportive of me. Having come from a family of alcoholics, and watching his mother drink herself to death, he understands how hard it is to kick this disease.

brynn

Squig....I don't see hiding, I see honesty.
When I read posts about relapse it serves as a reminder that I need to stay vigilant.
Thanks for posting and glad you found meetings tonight.
Keep reaching out and keep yourself safe. You can do this.

PurpleKnight

Don't beat yourself up, it's in the past, but you get to write the future!!

Tweak your pan and go at things again!! You'll get there!!

OklaBH

You arent hiding. You are being honest and that is super. Try a meeting and stay on here. Im sorry this happened.

Jsbodhi

Christmas eve got the better of me too, and it was a particularly nasty night as well.
Xoxo

Dee74

Welcome back Squig - have you got a plan to tackle New Years?

D

Squig

Thanks to all for the support. I'm so grateful to have found this site. I've lost count over the years how many times I swore to never put myself and loved ones through this again. There is not enough to be said about reaching out to people who have faced the same battle.

Squig

Dee, New Year's isn't normally a trigger for me. If I'm not able to spend it with my son, then I plan to go to my parents, a non-drinking household.

Sober81

I'm starting my Sober recovery today. We can do it together, I'll need support also.

Squig

I often think back about the six months I once had, and how I hadn't felt so great in years. I was once told that regret is like pi$$ing yourself because you are the only one who can feel it. Still, had I stayed on that road, I would have just celebrated two years.

brynn

Squig....use that as your motivation. Just think how awesome it will be in two years to look back to today and be able to say you did it!
When I first joined this site, I read a post talking about how great it was to wake up in the morning sober and with no regrets! I knew right then THAT is what I was looking for! Having no regrets is worth everything!

Alwyshope12

Squig, you know how great it can be sober, Mao you can do this again. I had almost a year, my hen started drinking again. I did not consumer half as much as I used to". But regardless, My feelings and emotions became s roller coaster, and I knew quitting was the thing to do to feel better.

Unfortunately, it takes just as much time to feel better again.

Keep at it!

WillLess

Keep on trying Squig, you can do this! Keep faith.