brynn

I thrive on organization and was the most organized alcoholic imaginable.

I set 2pm as the time my drinking could commence, but ONLY if all errands and chores were done. Of course, I couldn't get out of bed before 10am because of the nasty hangovers, But boy, could I get a lot done in just a few short hours!
I was so proud of myself for working out this little system!

See...I didn't have a drinking problem! Look how clean my house was, bills paid, dry cleaning picked up, clothes washed and put away, cupboards full!!
Never mind the fact that I had lost my career because of my drinking (somehow that didn't play into my little scenario). Those DWIs? Clearly the cops were picking on me.

I lived like that for way too long. I can't believe the denial I lived in. I think back to those days and it makes me really sad because I THOUGHT I was happy living like that. Pathetic!

I've been sober for three weeks, but when the clock strikes two I still get that familiar tug that it's 'time'. I'm not going to drink, it's not an option, but wondering if anyone else struggles with a certain time of day and also how long til it becomes a thing of the past? Or at least gets quieter?

beach20

Well, I relapsed and am now newly sober so I don't have much advice.
But I was always organizing everything...and then I got to drink! I loved looking around my beautiful, clean apartment with a bottle of wine. But that apartment didn't give me much serenity the next morning.

I was also a workaholic...work, drink, work drink...until I lost my 42-year career and am having to start again.

I appreciate your post. I am still organized but I am now more interested in staying sober...even if it means something in my room is out of whack!

Thank you for your post!

OklaBH

Brynn, I love your threads. Very insightful and I can always relate.

Yep, house cleaned (by me or a house keeper), laundry done, dinner cooked every night....so why cant I throw back 8 beers a night and binge all weekend?

Glad you are here and I appreciate all your posts.

Soberween

Yes, I believe it's called the witching hour. Mine was 5:00 pm (you know the saying, it's 5 o'clock somewhere) and the fact that I never drank until 5:00 pm meant I was normal. It's funny the lies we tell ourselves in order to continue the insanity of drinking when all kinds of red flags constantly came up saying we are anything but normal when it comes to alcohol. Fortunately, the witching hour feeling quickly went away around the 90 day mark for me.

growpath

Hey Brynn Congrats on three weeks!!

Yes, I remember at three weeks I was all sorts of a mess and my 5 o'clock routine really took a toll on me for awhile. I cant exactly pin point when it stopped but just know it did.

I do know things took a shift as I got into new patterns & like you just kept telling myself drinking isn't an option. I just didn't entertain that thought when it came to mind except to tell it to just stop and go away cause it isn't gonna happen.

Each day that passes things will start to fall more into place. Only rules here are keep going, don't drink and open your heart to the new things that WILL occur in your life if you are willing, and I know you are

so glad you are here

PurpleKnight

5pm until 1am, that was my drinking time!!

It all came down to changing up my routines, creating a new life within that time period, my new going to bed routine now includes teethbrushing, laying my clothes out for the next day, reading a chapter of a book, all of these things I didn't do as I blacked out and collapsed into bed each night.

When I get home from work now after 5pm I go for a long walk for an hour or so, then come back and get creative in the kitchen, something other than sitting in front of the TV, as that was my drinking time.

It'll take some time to adjust, create new habits, but it can be done!!

beach20

I really appreciate your suggestions Purpleknight!

brynn

Thanks y'all! I knew I wasn't the only one...I have this picture in my head of all these lovely alcoholics sitting in their sparkling clean super organized homes killing themselves with booze. (Very Norman Rockwell)!!

Glad to hear the whole 'it's time' thing gets quieter. This past week I've really made an effort to make 2pm into something else...like a coffee break if I'm at work or if I'm home a book break...a set aside time to do something I enjoy.

By the way...it's even sadder that I thought 2pm was an appropriate time to start drinking!! just thought of this after reading how you proper alcoholics had the willpower to wait til 5!!

Jsbodhi

Haha me too
My witching hour was always after work, no set time exactly because of my business.
But same thing, paid bills, clean house etc. though that was slipping a bit because of my hangovers

Bailey3

I was the poster child of organization and cleanliness. My outside world looked perfect even though internally I was a mess. Don't worry it gets better with time. Purplenight has some great suggestions.

sugarbear1

30 days to change a habit, 90 to keep the new routine....

dunno, really.

keep moving forward!!!

Dee74

I didn't have a set time by the end. but my urges got faointer and quiter over time and they disappeared.

We can change, and we do - and our lives our wants and our priorities change with us Brynn


D
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forabetterlife

Great post brynn
I'm obviously just starting over this time around so I am behind you but I know from past successfully sober periods that the time of day does get easier and some days, believe it or not, you are more accustomed to not drinking than drinking. Of course it's not like that every day, but when it's like that it feels really, really good.

I think many of us "hid" our alcoholism behind organization and being mostly responsible. Most people in my life, especially coworkers would find it hard to believe I have this problem.

Congrats on your time Brynn, you are awesome

LizWM126

Glad to see this post. This is only my 2nd day of not drinking but oh my goodness I thought I was going to lose it at my normal 5pm drinking time. This is hard. :-( Looking forward to it passing.

fini

brynn,

i know it's a contradiction in terms, but yeah, i was a very disciplined alcoholic.
i started drinking at 8pm, and not before. the fact that i could stick to this rule of a "civilized" time to start the drinking fed into the illusion that i was in charge. it conveniently masked other facts. and it hid from me the fact that i could wait to drink only because i knew i'd get to, at eight.

i've been sober eight years.
eight pm is still my time to call the day quits and settle into the evening. it's still a cut-off to the day and beginning of..."my" time.

no, it doesn't make me think of drinking or miss it or anything, but yeah, i know when it's eight o'clock.

markz

Functional Alcoholic is another term used.

It doesnt matter what you want to call yourself.
It doesnt matter if you think you are unique.

The only thing that matters is that you understand that you have a problem with alcohol.

Its not the amount of booze you swallow, its what the poison does to you.

Kensho

Yes, and from what I've read, our neuro - physiology changes too - with time.

FeelingGreat

Oh yeah that's very common in alcoholics who drink at certain times, or even days of the week, like week-end binge drinkers.
My time was the evening, on my way home from work. Very strong trigger. My ritual was to sit in a certain place on the sofa, turn on the telly and drink my first glass of wine. That represented relaxation to me.

I substituted tea for the wine, and that gradually became my relaxation ritual instead. Insert your own drink preference. Because this time of the evening was also one where my blood sugars were low, I also found eating early, even just a snack, helped too.

MelindaFlowers

I was always very diligent about finishing everything early to keep my evening completely open for drinking at home until I passed out.

tomsteve

no matter where I lived my house and yard were spotless. My vehicle was as clean as possible and that alone, being a carpenter that worked on some pretty nasty job sites, was a job in itself. Everything hada place, a place for everything.
And everything was as clean as possible.
Except my head and heart.
It was all about pride. Too concerned about what others thought of me.
Took a lot of work for me to back off on it and learn about the finer things in life.


In early recovery I think the hardest time for me was quitting time. I worked carpentry( built houses) for a long time and quitting time( some times weather could make that 11 am, 2pm, noon,etc) meant beer thirty.
The thought that helped me wad," it's just another hour in the day."
Plus knowing where a drink wad gonna take me.
It did get easier with time.
And now it's been a long time since I've hadda problem with it.