I was absolutely disgusted by their drinking over xmas!
Recognising my AV
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
I was absolutely disgusted by their drinking over xmas!
With this being my first xmas not drinking and being early in sobriety I approached the period with a mixture of fear and excitement. I found it hard at times but despite mixing with drinkers did not touch a drop myself 
I did however, exhibit an unhealthy interest in others drinking habits and, while not exactly counting drinks - I did notice things like the times people started drinking and how much etc.
well, to be quite honest, I was appalled!
No one drank in the morning - even though this is the only time of year when it is deemed socially acceptable, in fact 5.30 pm was the earliest drink taken. No one got even slightly slurry, let alone pissed, and the number of times people left drink in a glass and then went on to drink tea made me sick!!!!!
I was furious - inside I was screaming
"It's xmas for god's sake!!!!! If folk are going to drink then at least try and make an effort to do it properly! Bloody amateurs!"
Once my rage subsided I had a little think about why it made me so mad.........
Was it that they were drinking and I wasn't?
Was it the injustice of it all?
Was it about the leftover booze thrown down the drain?
Maybe, at least partly.
On reflection, the root cause of my anger was that no one was drinking like I used to. They all had free reign to drink and chose not to while I was 'denying' myself the opportunity. Would I have felt better then if, instead of abstaining, I drank 'socially' like them? A couple of drinks with dinner then switch to tea?
I'd rather dig my eyes out with spoons! I really and truly know now that I have absolutely no desire to 'drink like a gentleman'.
If I can't neck the booze to oblivion and beyond, then I don't see the point in drinking. I used to pine for something I couldn't have - moderation - but I now know for a fact that I wouldn't want it even if I could!
This has helped me immeasurably
I did however, exhibit an unhealthy interest in others drinking habits and, while not exactly counting drinks - I did notice things like the times people started drinking and how much etc.
well, to be quite honest, I was appalled!
No one drank in the morning - even though this is the only time of year when it is deemed socially acceptable, in fact 5.30 pm was the earliest drink taken. No one got even slightly slurry, let alone pissed, and the number of times people left drink in a glass and then went on to drink tea made me sick!!!!!
I was furious - inside I was screaming
"It's xmas for god's sake!!!!! If folk are going to drink then at least try and make an effort to do it properly! Bloody amateurs!"
Once my rage subsided I had a little think about why it made me so mad.........
Was it that they were drinking and I wasn't?
Was it the injustice of it all?
Was it about the leftover booze thrown down the drain?
Maybe, at least partly.
On reflection, the root cause of my anger was that no one was drinking like I used to. They all had free reign to drink and chose not to while I was 'denying' myself the opportunity. Would I have felt better then if, instead of abstaining, I drank 'socially' like them? A couple of drinks with dinner then switch to tea?
I'd rather dig my eyes out with spoons! I really and truly know now that I have absolutely no desire to 'drink like a gentleman'.
If I can't neck the booze to oblivion and beyond, then I don't see the point in drinking. I used to pine for something I couldn't have - moderation - but I now know for a fact that I wouldn't want it even if I could!
This has helped me immeasurably
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
I exactly what you mean. This was my first sober xmas and I also an observer rather than a participant for the first time. I noticed the same. Most people drinking lightly, many not at all. Even the odd one that drank a lot got drunk late in the evening and then went to bed. I would have been drunk early and kept going until the bitter end. It left me thinking do I just cover it up well or was I a raging drunk and if I was how come nobody said it to me???
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Excellent, Hendrix. Congratulations to you on reaching this understanding. I don't get it when folks say they relapsed because they tried to drink in moderation - nobody wants to do that, nobody here on these pages anyway. That understanding of yours will stand you in good stead. Onward!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: London
Posts: 17
Well done Hendrix for staying away from the drink over Christmas. I can totally get where you are coming from regarding the moderation point. Also Christmas is one of the hardest times of the year to not be tempted and take up on that offer. Keep strong.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: London
Posts: 17
Well done Hendrix for staying away from the drink over Christmas. I can totally get where you are coming from regarding the moderation point. Also Christmas is one of the hardest times of the year to not be tempted and take up on that offer. Keep strong.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Yes I've realized that about myself too, if I have managed to moderate I was miserable anyway.
It's amazing when people I know just have one or two, then stop and go home to watch a movie or carry on with their day.
It's amazing when people I know just have one or two, then stop and go home to watch a movie or carry on with their day.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
In order for me to remain sober with using
a program of recovery taught to me and
that I learned early on, I realized that I
had and still have no right to judge people
no matter how absurd what they are doing
is not to my liking.
I had to learn to accept people just the way
they are. That I cant change them no matter
how hard I try to. It just aint gonna happen.
After learning that lesson and applying it
to all areas of my life, anger of these people
subsided.
I realized that the only thing needed changing
was me, my ideas, my thoughts, my actions,
behavior and so on.
I have to take care of me and only me.
a program of recovery taught to me and
that I learned early on, I realized that I
had and still have no right to judge people
no matter how absurd what they are doing
is not to my liking.
I had to learn to accept people just the way
they are. That I cant change them no matter
how hard I try to. It just aint gonna happen.
After learning that lesson and applying it
to all areas of my life, anger of these people
subsided.
I realized that the only thing needed changing
was me, my ideas, my thoughts, my actions,
behavior and so on.
I have to take care of me and only me.
Live easy but think first
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Sonoran Desert
Posts: 480
This post was excellent to read. And I relate! Made me chuckle (clever).
My mom, sober for 25 years, has said to me for years, "When an alcoholic enjoys drinking they can't control it. And when they control it they can't enjoy it." Wisdom from the rooms, no doubt, but it was one of my first litmus tests for my own problem. Check and check.
My mom, sober for 25 years, has said to me for years, "When an alcoholic enjoys drinking they can't control it. And when they control it they can't enjoy it." Wisdom from the rooms, no doubt, but it was one of my first litmus tests for my own problem. Check and check.
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