Hello, Day 5
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 4
Hello, Day 5
Hello Im 27 years old, Ive been drinking alcohol since I was 19, I started back then with some wine and ended up drinking up to 2 bottles in one night then I got tired of wine and started drinking vodka, and this late years Ive been drinking Rum and beer, first the weekends, then 4 days a week and lately 6 days a week. This year I think i haven't been sober not even for 2 weeks. 3 years ago the alcohol affected my stomach (along with my eating disorder and my overweight problems) but I didn't care, I keep on drinking and now my random stomach aches are another burden I have to live with (Ive lived with depression since I was 17). I have been living like this for the last 7 years and I used to be "ok" with it, I managed to go to college, graduate and all but after that my drinking problems has started to affect me emotionally and profesionally I have left my jobs and then managed to get another one and then again left it. I prefer to stay at home sleeping drinking and being sad and frustrated about everything that has happened in my life, Ive also withdrawal from all my friends. I feel so unhappy because this isn't what I imagined my life would be. Im also gay and my sentimental relationships have left me empty and alone. I can't talk about with my family about all these problems, they life abroad and they think everything is fine with me and I don't want to burden them with this hell Im living. This year I decided to start studying again, wishing keeping my mind busy would solve all my problems. I started a master's degree, but the stress and all my depression lead me to increase my drinking at the point sometimes I don't even want to leave my bed and i just drink to avoid thinking about all my problems. I've failed all my subjects and haven't even had the strenght to go to classes so all the money I payed for my degree is gone. Ive tried to get sober like 3 times this year but I have failed
Im trying to get sober now, Im on my day 5 today, and this time it has been 10 times worse than other times. Day 1 was ok, but day 2-3-4 were terrible I had the shakes, my body was vibrating the whole time all my muscles ached terribly, stomach flu, fever, anxiety (worse than ever) and panic attacks, I've managed to hold on... Thank God! but I know the hardest part has started (Ive been in this situation before) when I have to start facing reality and all I want to do is to forget everything with alcohol, Today Ive been fighting the whole day with that feeling I even got out the house twice to go to the liquor store, but then I recalled all of my withdrawal symptoms and remembered some posts of this forums (I've been reading since morning) and managed to return home. Im even fighting with the feeling of going to buy some alcohol now, so I decided to write something. I really want to pick up the pieces of my life this time, I don't want to feel like this anymore, I know that if I drink today this whole cycle will repeat again. I still feel my body and mind kinda numb and my depression is starting to kick in very hard again
I don't know what to do...
Im trying to get sober now, Im on my day 5 today, and this time it has been 10 times worse than other times. Day 1 was ok, but day 2-3-4 were terrible I had the shakes, my body was vibrating the whole time all my muscles ached terribly, stomach flu, fever, anxiety (worse than ever) and panic attacks, I've managed to hold on... Thank God! but I know the hardest part has started (Ive been in this situation before) when I have to start facing reality and all I want to do is to forget everything with alcohol, Today Ive been fighting the whole day with that feeling I even got out the house twice to go to the liquor store, but then I recalled all of my withdrawal symptoms and remembered some posts of this forums (I've been reading since morning) and managed to return home. Im even fighting with the feeling of going to buy some alcohol now, so I decided to write something. I really want to pick up the pieces of my life this time, I don't want to feel like this anymore, I know that if I drink today this whole cycle will repeat again. I still feel my body and mind kinda numb and my depression is starting to kick in very hard again
I don't know what to do...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
I'm glad you joined us Harry - I think support is vital.
The few few days can be rough but it will get better
Of course if you're concerned about anything, seeing a Dr is not a bad idea.
Going back to drinking will simply rest the clock and you find yourself back at this predicament again - as some one who's been there, it's much much better to do this once
Read around and post as much as you like - maybe join the Class of December support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-3-a-5.html
You'll get a lot of support and ideas on plans and real-life support if you're interested in that
Welcome
D
The few few days can be rough but it will get better
Of course if you're concerned about anything, seeing a Dr is not a bad idea.
Going back to drinking will simply rest the clock and you find yourself back at this predicament again - as some one who's been there, it's much much better to do this once
Read around and post as much as you like - maybe join the Class of December support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-3-a-5.html
You'll get a lot of support and ideas on plans and real-life support if you're interested in that
Welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Idaho
Posts: 19
I understand what you mean about the withdrawals and anxiety. They kept getting worse for me too each time I tried to stop. I finally saw a doctor and she helped me immensely by prescribing a medication that effectively stopped the anxiety. If that resonates with you, it may be worth seeing a doctor. I'm at 10 weeks now, and the other thing that really helped me was that I *couldn't* drink on the medication, so it essentially took the option off the table. Everyone is different, and we're not supposed to give medical advice. I'm just sharing my experience in case something about it resonates with you. You can do this, Harry! Good job on the 5 days!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 4
Thank you for all your welcomes. 
.
Day 6 has been ok so far, just some sweating and anxiety, but the urges are really strong at this point. Im trying to make one day at a time, but its hard, i still hope I can get thru this day sober .
.Day 6 has been ok so far, just some sweating and anxiety, but the urges are really strong at this point
. Im trying to make one day at a time, but its hard, i still hope I can get thru this day sober .
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Welcome, Harry, to SR.
Here's a link on dealing with urges:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
Here's a link on dealing with urges:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Hi Harry! Its really nice to meet you! And congrats on 6 days!
Please come join our December 2014 class! It's a great way to meet and get/receive support from other people who are new to sobriety as well. It's one of the things that's helped me stay sober for three weeks!
Keep reaching out for support...you'll find lots of it here!
Please come join our December 2014 class! It's a great way to meet and get/receive support from other people who are new to sobriety as well. It's one of the things that's helped me stay sober for three weeks!
Keep reaching out for support...you'll find lots of it here!
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