2muchpain

I just got back from an AA meeting. People there were sharing their stories of how AA has helped them. They shared warm, fuzzy stories of how people in AA helped them when they were down and out. How, FROM DAY 1, people would walk up to them to say hi and invite them out after the meeting. How when they were in the hospital and people from AA, even people they did not know would come to visit them. Another person said how grateful he was that he met people in AA and were not just being nice because they wanted something.
Great stories and I'm sure there true, but I kept thinking during the meeting that these stories reminded me of something, but just couldn't figure out what it was. Then it dawned on me. It reminded me of a fairtale or a bedtime story my mother would read to me where the story would start with someone having a problem, but everything worked out in the end. Kinda like how Ebenezer (sp?) Scrooge found the real meaning of Christmas, or how Cinderella found her prince charming.
Unfortunately, I don't believe in fairytales anymore. I think I'll skip the meeting tomorrow. John

ScottFromWI

So you are suggesting AA is a fairytale? Or am I reading this wrong?

Carbonized

Sounds more like disillusionment.

2muchpain

No, AA is not a fairytale, but some of the coom by ya (sp?) stories are. Been going to meeting for a long time now, and some of the stories are just that, fairytales. But good for those that believe in them. It's just not the world I live in, but it sounds nice. John

SoberLeigh

I have never been to an AA meeting but it sounds to me as though real people are sharing real experiences.

I have two real-life friends who have utilized AA to achieve and maintain sobriety. One has been an active AA member for over 30 years - the other for around 10 years (not sure). Both say that they have met some extraordinary people. There is something about sharing that commonality of experience that creates bonds and the desire to reach out.

They have have shared of experiences within the rooms that sent shivers down their spines; saw bitterness, anger, desolation, abandonment; they would never describe the rooms as fairy-tale like - but rather as a dose of reality like no other.

If this particular group seems too sugar and roses for you, maybe another group would be a better fit.

Rooting for you, John.

ScottFromWI

So what is your sobriety plan now? A few months back you got out of detox and immediately started drinking again. My suggestion would be to worry more about what you can do to stay sober vs finding ways to discredit other support systems.

markz

Good stuff (sarcastic)......did they atleast talk about the steps?

Soberpotamus

My experience attending AA meetings was brief. But I came away each time feeling a mixed bag - I could identify with some shares, and not at all with others. Sometimes I could identify with only certain parts of a share. I did come away feeling often that people were "shaping" their shares to fit the AA "box" though. I found the worst shares to be the ones where every other statement was a parroting of the slogans. Just made the speaker seem generic, inauthentic, and silly.

GracieLou

I am in AA and having a rough day. I called my sponsor this morning and she has contacted me three times via text through out the day and told me her plans tonight if I needed her and a request that I text her later to let her know how I am doing. It is not a fairy tale, she cares.

About a year ago or so we heard of a member in need at a rehab. He was visiting Akron from West Virginia. He was here to see the AA sights and he was hit by a truck on his motorcycle. He lost his leg. We got people together and took him a meeting once a week for seven weeks while he was in rehab. That is not a fairytale.

I have had three close friends that had surgery and we got together and made arrangements with the rest of the ladies to take turns providing meals for a week so they didn't have to cook. That is not a fairytale.

The friendships, the caring and the love are real.

2muchpain

Maybe I didn't explain myself clearly. I am not discrediting AA. In fact, it upsets me when people do.
Oh, and thanks for the reminder of what happened when I got out of detox. That was back in July and I've been doing fine since, but I appreciate your support. John

2muchpain

So your saying because I messed up last July, what I have to say is meaningless. If we decided that anything that someone that has relapsed has to say is not worth listening to, than most things said on this forum should be ignored. John

2muchpain

No.

ScottFromWI

Perhaps I read your post incorrectly, but it sounded to me like you came to the conclusion that skipping tomorrow's meeting would be a good idea. I was suggesting that might not be a good idea in light of your not too distant past. Sorry if you took that the wrong way.

tomsteve

And when was the last time you invited a newcomer out for coffee after a meeting?



Say its a fairy tail but when going through chemo and while recooperating from surgeries, I had meetings brought to me. I had People bring me meals. I had people just come over to visit.

Maybe it had to do with me getting what I gave.

2muchpain

Now I remember (too late), why I avoid starting threads. BTW, I've given a lot to many people in AA. John

tomsteve

Yu say you've given a lot to people in AA, when was the last time you took a newcomer out for coffee after a meeting?

And why is it you avoid starting threads?

Carlotta

John
I have no problem with a tad bit of cynicism (Just check out my avatar LOL) but I want to make sure you are ok.
The Holiday season is hard on many, especially on alcoholics and people who are alone.
I also have noticed on this board that often people will start finding problems (or pointing out actual problems) with AA and it is not so much about the program as their AV getting them started on a slippery slope.
Here is an excerpt from the Doctor's opinion in the Big Book
Not saying that some people in AA are not full of **** or that you are going to relapse but just wanted to point it out to you. There are some really fun Christmas threads on SR that you could join.
Also I really think that the best way to deal with that unease is by doing service.
Since you have been sober for a wee bit, I'd suggest that instead of staying home alone and feeling sorry for yourself for Christmas stewing on how F.O.S and hypocritical some people in AA can be, you go to a meeting, find someone newer than you and share your esh with him.

GracieLou

Maybe that is your problem? You keep expecting something in return and your expectations are not being met?

Gratitude for what you do have will always take you farther then expectations for others to fill in your wants and needs.

Lenina

I didn't get much of the warm fuzzies from AA either. Looking back, I didn't give much warm fuzzies either. I did go early, stayed late and sometime did join in the afters pie and coffee.

But I did have a great sponsor. She gave me my life back. She coaxed me through the Steps until I found the meaning, the deeper meaning.

Please hang in there. Get a good sponsor. Do the work.

Love from Lenina

Soberpotamus

I've noticed this too. I really feel for a lot of people here around this time of year, as I know how it feels to be in despair during the holidays. I see many troubled posts lately and it's sad.