Its so boring being sober
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 74
The only time I'm bored is when I am around a group of people who are drinking. This is mostly at family events where I am often now the only non-drinker. The so called social lubricant of alcohol would turn me into something I am not: loud, clumsy, and an expert on nearly every subject.
I get bored at those events because I am no longer part of that life style. Since stopping drinking I have many new and renewed interests that keep me occupied and would rather be doing those activities then poisoning myself with alcohol and calling it fun. Fortunately I have a job that requires me to be on call a lot. If I get too bored (or the AV starts again) I have an easy out.
I get bored at those events because I am no longer part of that life style. Since stopping drinking I have many new and renewed interests that keep me occupied and would rather be doing those activities then poisoning myself with alcohol and calling it fun. Fortunately I have a job that requires me to be on call a lot. If I get too bored (or the AV starts again) I have an easy out.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Originally Posted by jay37 
Thanks for the responses. I would not say that life is always boring without drinking. Like I said in my initial post I have plenty of hobbies and stuff that I find enjoyable that don't involve liquor. I was never one to drank all the times just usually went to bars on Friday and Saturday night to have some fun. Never lost my job or was arrested because of drinking. Im just thinking that liquor can be a positive in my life in limited situations. I can have a good time with it and not cause me to many issues. I stopped drinking and now I think maybe I did not need to. I don't think my life has gotten a whole lot better since I stopped drinking and now I miss drinking on occasion as well. So it can of feels like I gave up drinking with out getting much benefit out of stopping? Any thoughts?
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Sure I spent a few more bucks then I should have but nothing that really destroyed my life
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Originally Posted by jay37
Thanks for the responses. I would not say that life is always boring without drinking. Like I said in my initial post I have plenty of hobbies and stuff that I find enjoyable that don't involve liquor. I was never one to drank all the times just usually went to bars on Friday and Saturday night to have some fun. Never lost my job or was arrested because of drinking. Im just thinking that liquor can be a positive in my life in limited situations. I can have a good time with it and not cause me to many issues. I stopped drinking and now I think maybe I did not need to. I don't think my life has gotten a whole lot better since I stopped drinking and now I miss drinking on occasion as well. So it can of feels like I gave up drinking with out getting much benefit out of stopping? Any thoughts?
You say that you are re-thinking your decision; Jay, please spend some good time on the premise that drinking to get drunk is not normal. It may seem that way when you are looking around the bar on a Friday or Saturday night and see so many people doing just that but think about where you are.
Thankfully for them, there are more normies in this world than there are alcoholics. When it appears that everyone is getting is drunk, think "no, everyone is not; this is an 'illusion', fed by my surroundings".
When I first became sober, I wished that I could be a normie. Now I could care less that I am not. I am perfectly content being an alcoholic in recovery; I am comfortable in my skin; it took some time to get to this point but sobriety's anything BUT boring.
We care about you, Jay. You asked what we thought. In the end, it is your decision but I hope you give it lots and lots of thought.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 314
Why not keep going until you hit a year, and then reevaluate? Four months is a great amount of time to stay sober, but it may not be enough time to see what could happen if you give this new lifestyle more time to evolve/expand. Also I really think the holidays are a challenging time for sobriety, at least wait it out and see how you feel after New Years!! You can do this and it can be great!
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey jay37-
Your post deals with exactly what I'm also feeling. In fact I posted a similar post, just one month ago, titled: Does Sobriety Mean Less Excitement?
I have been able to reinvent myself, and have not had any booze for 16 months, however I do still feel like I'm missing out. I think I saw where you posted about alcohol being positive in limited situations which might be true- for some people. I don't think it really can be for most of us in this forum.
Alcohol is progressive by nature. Sure, we might be able to go out here and there and limit our intake, but that will most likely be short lived. Then, we're right back into the problems.
I think most of us in here are just wired to where we have this insatiable urge for more booze, where as a 'normal' drinker is fine after just a couple. For me, it's incomprehensible to just have a couple and still be satisfied. For that reason I have decided to abstain all together.
Things are improving however. As more time goes by, I find myself beginning to enjoy going out again, even though I won't have the buzzed sensation. In no way is my social life nearly as exciting, which I have come to accept, but my over all life is far better.
Hang in there jay, as things will get better sooner or later.
Lusher
Your post deals with exactly what I'm also feeling. In fact I posted a similar post, just one month ago, titled: Does Sobriety Mean Less Excitement?
I have been able to reinvent myself, and have not had any booze for 16 months, however I do still feel like I'm missing out. I think I saw where you posted about alcohol being positive in limited situations which might be true- for some people. I don't think it really can be for most of us in this forum.
Alcohol is progressive by nature. Sure, we might be able to go out here and there and limit our intake, but that will most likely be short lived. Then, we're right back into the problems.
I think most of us in here are just wired to where we have this insatiable urge for more booze, where as a 'normal' drinker is fine after just a couple. For me, it's incomprehensible to just have a couple and still be satisfied. For that reason I have decided to abstain all together.
Things are improving however. As more time goes by, I find myself beginning to enjoy going out again, even though I won't have the buzzed sensation. In no way is my social life nearly as exciting, which I have come to accept, but my over all life is far better.
Hang in there jay, as things will get better sooner or later.
Lusher
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by OklaBH
You are your own person. I certainly would never tell anyone that its "ok" to drink on friday and saturday. I tried and failed miserably. I can only relate my own experience with alcohol. I thought I was ok on Friday/Saturday nights, that became Friday into Sunday night. Soon it was every day. No way to live. As I said before, you came here for a reason.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,036
Funny -- I find life so much more interesting sober than drunk. I'm able to pay attention to people and things, and really life is pretty fascinating. I get a charge when the clerk at Walgreens says "Happy Holidays" and I can say, "You too, and thanks!" Every day there's at least one moment of "wow, who knew?"
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 204
Hey Jay,
i'll agree to an extent that sobriety can be boring.
But the catch is that in the long run, all the fun times you can get from boozing it up are going to catch up with you. You just are going to have to make a readjustment. For me at least, it's only now that i'm really working on what to do socially since pretty much anything i did or places i went where i was around a lot of people involved drinking and i'm pretty much have zero experience socializing around strangers without having at least a drink or two in me to calm my nerves.
i'll agree to an extent that sobriety can be boring.
But the catch is that in the long run, all the fun times you can get from boozing it up are going to catch up with you. You just are going to have to make a readjustment. For me at least, it's only now that i'm really working on what to do socially since pretty much anything i did or places i went where i was around a lot of people involved drinking and i'm pretty much have zero experience socializing around strangers without having at least a drink or two in me to calm my nerves.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
depending on how you approach it, sobriety can be a an unrewarding process of self discipline, or a rewarding journey of discovery.
On a blackboard at one of our treatment centres I noticed a description of the alcoholic " narcissistic, greedy, self lovers". That would have fitted me pretty well, thinking that life was all about my pleasure and entertainment and what I could get out of it. With that mindset, sobriety was dull, boring, stressful, and generally pointless. It was no way to live happily in this world.
On the other hand, living in AAs twelve steps completely transformed my outlook. The big book talks about a 4th dimension of existence of which we had never even dreamed. That's where I live today, not because I have to, but because it is so absolutely satisfying. And it is true, I had no idea that life could be this good.
On a blackboard at one of our treatment centres I noticed a description of the alcoholic " narcissistic, greedy, self lovers". That would have fitted me pretty well, thinking that life was all about my pleasure and entertainment and what I could get out of it. With that mindset, sobriety was dull, boring, stressful, and generally pointless. It was no way to live happily in this world.
On the other hand, living in AAs twelve steps completely transformed my outlook. The big book talks about a 4th dimension of existence of which we had never even dreamed. That's where I live today, not because I have to, but because it is so absolutely satisfying. And it is true, I had no idea that life could be this good.
happy, joyous an free!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: northeast
Posts: 693
hey jay - personally i would give sobriety more time, reevaluating at 4 months is a bit early. IMHO. as i've heard, don't walk away before the miracle happens.
in my early recovery i didn't have much of a social life and i guess it seemed boring. down the road here now i know it was my disease trying to entice me back...
i am never bored, at all, anymore! where i used to wonder what to do with myself for the hours that seemed to stretch on for ever, i now wish for more hours in the day! what i used to think was boredom i now know as serenity/peace. something i couldn't understand until i worked my sobriety into recovery. time. willingness. open-mindedness. peace is never boring to me!
i hope you hang in there and have a happy sober holiday!
in my early recovery i didn't have much of a social life and i guess it seemed boring. down the road here now i know it was my disease trying to entice me back...
i am never bored, at all, anymore! where i used to wonder what to do with myself for the hours that seemed to stretch on for ever, i now wish for more hours in the day! what i used to think was boredom i now know as serenity/peace. something i couldn't understand until i worked my sobriety into recovery. time. willingness. open-mindedness. peace is never boring to me!
i hope you hang in there and have a happy sober holiday!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
I can understand the situation you find yourself in 100%. A lot of the best times I have have had involved alcohol and sometimes huge amounts of alcohol. As I was growing up, 100% of the friends I grew up with drank to excess at weekends and now in my forties at least half do. Alcohol has been a way of life for me for almost 30 years (and I am only in my 40's) and a lot of it has been amazing.
Problem is that's only half the story. All the really bad things that have happened in my life have been a direct result of drinking. Alcohol is killing me slowly and my problem was getting worse before I quit. Alcohol provided some highs but also all the lows.
Eventually the addiction gets so bad that you will become the tramp at the side of the street so that's what you are choosing between - a sober life or the beaten down, almost dead, lifeless drunk. Because for addicts that's the only choice you have. It's all just a matter of time. So don't let your AV screw with you which is what is happening. You need to stay sober and you need to build a life around doing the things that excite you. It's not a choice of the life you had while drinking with or without the drink. That's AV BS.
Problem is that's only half the story. All the really bad things that have happened in my life have been a direct result of drinking. Alcohol is killing me slowly and my problem was getting worse before I quit. Alcohol provided some highs but also all the lows.
Eventually the addiction gets so bad that you will become the tramp at the side of the street so that's what you are choosing between - a sober life or the beaten down, almost dead, lifeless drunk. Because for addicts that's the only choice you have. It's all just a matter of time. So don't let your AV screw with you which is what is happening. You need to stay sober and you need to build a life around doing the things that excite you. It's not a choice of the life you had while drinking with or without the drink. That's AV BS.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 215
[. Im just thinking that liquor can be a positive in my life in limited situations. I can have a good time with it and not cause me to many issues. I stopped drinking and now I think maybe I did not need to. I don't think my life has gotten a whole lot better since I stopped drinking and now I miss drinking on occasion as well. So it can of feels like I gave up drinking with out getting much benefit out of stopping? Any thoughts?[/QUOTE]
Sounds like you are looking for an excuse to pick up the drinking again. Not a very productive train of thought.
Sounds like you are looking for an excuse to pick up the drinking again. Not a very productive train of thought.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 215
[. Im just thinking that liquor can be a positive in my life in limited situations. I can have a good time with it and not cause me to many issues. I stopped drinking and now I think maybe I did not need to. I don't think my life has gotten a whole lot better since I stopped drinking and now I miss drinking on occasion as well. So it can of feels like I gave up drinking with out getting much benefit out of stopping? Any thoughts?[/QUOTE]
Sounds like you are looking for an excuse to pick up the drinking again. Not a very productive train of thought.
Sounds like you are looking for an excuse to pick up the drinking again. Not a very productive train of thought.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 36
Originally Posted by ubntubnt
I can understand the situation you find yourself in 100%. A lot of the best times I have have had involved alcohol and sometimes huge amounts of alcohol. As I was growing up, 100% of the friends I grew up with drank to excess at weekends and now in my forties at least half do. Alcohol has been a way of life for me for almost 30 years (and I am only in my 40's) and a lot of it has been amazing.
Problem is that's only half the story. All the really bad things that have happened in my life have been a direct result of drinking. Alcohol is killing me slowly and my problem was getting worse before I quit. Alcohol provided some highs but also all the lows.
Eventually the addiction gets so bad that you will become the tramp at the side of the street so that's what you are choosing between - a sober life or the beaten down, almost dead, lifeless drunk. Because for addicts that's the only choice you have. It's all just a matter of time. So don't let your AV screw with you which is what is happening. You need to stay sober and you need to build a life around doing the things that excite you. It's not a choice of the life you had while drinking with or without the drink. That's AV BS.
Problem is that's only half the story. All the really bad things that have happened in my life have been a direct result of drinking. Alcohol is killing me slowly and my problem was getting worse before I quit. Alcohol provided some highs but also all the lows.
Eventually the addiction gets so bad that you will become the tramp at the side of the street so that's what you are choosing between - a sober life or the beaten down, almost dead, lifeless drunk. Because for addicts that's the only choice you have. It's all just a matter of time. So don't let your AV screw with you which is what is happening. You need to stay sober and you need to build a life around doing the things that excite you. It's not a choice of the life you had while drinking with or without the drink. That's AV BS.
Sounds like other peoples drinking habits may be different then me on here. I am probably more of a binge drinker as opposed to someone who drinks all the time. I like to get drunk and get hammered for a few hours on the weekend but I have no desire to drink any other time. I don't find it appealing to be hammered at 2pm on Tuesday or midnight on Tuesday for that matter. Is my drinking pattern that different from all yours on this site before you quit? I don't know guess I sound like more of a problem drinker then an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan USA
Posts: 184
I don't know if someone mentioned it, but usually someone says to go back to the first post you made at SR, when we felt we were at our own personal bottom and reaching out for support.
It's good advice. When the nostalgia and "euphoria recall" hits, the first posts we wrote here remind us that the good times were illusory at best. And there was always hell to pay.
If you've never hit the bottoms of DUI, hospitals, and jails, then the kindest and best thing you can do for yourself is to persevere in your sobriety so that those terrible events never have the chance to happen. I've never hit those bottoms either, but the last days of my drinking were in laying in bed for days with the phone next to me, ready to dial 911. Any veneer of comradery and good cheer had been totally stripped away.
Congrats on 4 months sobriety. The easiest part is reestablishing a social life for yourself that is far richer and rewarding.
It's good advice. When the nostalgia and "euphoria recall" hits, the first posts we wrote here remind us that the good times were illusory at best. And there was always hell to pay.
If you've never hit the bottoms of DUI, hospitals, and jails, then the kindest and best thing you can do for yourself is to persevere in your sobriety so that those terrible events never have the chance to happen. I've never hit those bottoms either, but the last days of my drinking were in laying in bed for days with the phone next to me, ready to dial 911. Any veneer of comradery and good cheer had been totally stripped away.
Congrats on 4 months sobriety. The easiest part is reestablishing a social life for yourself that is far richer and rewarding.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 204
Originally Posted by jay37
My mind keeps telling me I can get away with having the highs and protect my self from getting in trouble with the lows. I figure as long as I never drink and drive ever, and limit my drinking to limited sessions (weekend evenings) then I should be able to get the best of both worlds.
I am probably more of a binge drinker as opposed to someone who drinks all the time. I like to get drunk and get hammered for a few hours on the weekend but I have no desire to drink any other time.I don't know guess I sound like more of a problem drinker then an alcoholic.
I am probably more of a binge drinker as opposed to someone who drinks all the time. I like to get drunk and get hammered for a few hours on the weekend but I have no desire to drink any other time.I don't know guess I sound like more of a problem drinker then an alcoholic.
Be very, very careful because sooner or later the anvil will drop right on your head and you'll never see it coming.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 36
Originally Posted by thenewguy
I don't know if someone mentioned it, but usually someone says to go back to the first post you made at SR, when we felt we were at our own personal bottom and reaching out for support.
It's good advice. When the nostalgia and "euphoria recall" hits, the first posts we wrote here remind us that the good times were illusory at best. And there was always hell to pay.
If you've never hit the bottoms of DUI, hospitals, and jails, then the kindest and best thing you can do for yourself is to persevere in your sobriety so that those terrible events never have the chance to happen. I've never hit those bottoms either, but the last days of my drinking were in laying in bed for days with the phone next to me, ready to dial 911. Any veneer of comradery and good cheer had been totally stripped away.
Congrats on 4 months sobriety. The easiest part is reestablishing a social life for yourself that is far richer and rewarding.
It's good advice. When the nostalgia and "euphoria recall" hits, the first posts we wrote here remind us that the good times were illusory at best. And there was always hell to pay.
If you've never hit the bottoms of DUI, hospitals, and jails, then the kindest and best thing you can do for yourself is to persevere in your sobriety so that those terrible events never have the chance to happen. I've never hit those bottoms either, but the last days of my drinking were in laying in bed for days with the phone next to me, ready to dial 911. Any veneer of comradery and good cheer had been totally stripped away.
Congrats on 4 months sobriety. The easiest part is reestablishing a social life for yourself that is far richer and rewarding.
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