IMHomerSimpson

My whole life is suckin' right now.Did the vacation and was I a ****-ass, angry,stressed out dude.Ive been back for 4 days now and am getting angrier(?) by the day.I stopped anti-depressant Zoloft about a week ago and thats what Im hoping is fueling this rage Ive been in.Im drinking less but still drinking beer everyday.I feel like a drunk for the first time,but one angry drunk.I was watching a comedy movie a little while ago and it had a character of a "town drunk",holy **** this actor was good.I saw myself being imitated on a 1999 film.Im so close at the moment to sayin *** it or just stop drinking?????????????? As you know,I do this all the time but , Im not really enjoying breaking personal promises to myself on a daily basis.Its become such a joke now,you know,most of you are familiar to my repetitive posting on the same topic(s). Im numb to life and it is not too comfortable. BTW,NoMoBeer will be back soon,right NoMoBeer?

MootPoint

Homer

It sounds like you are close to, if not, hitting bottom. Now find your way up! You've gotten the advice, know the routine.

Does your doc know you quit Zoloft? Could the QUITTING of zoloft be fueling your rage?
.

Chy

Could the drinking while taking zoloft, and then cold turkying it be it?

Hgrokit

I think you've got a couple things going on, none of which are all that great, but not insurmountable.

First, talk to the Dr. about the Zoloft. I was on Effexor for about nine months and decided to go off and see if my depression was clinical or just part of dealing with "life on life's terms". We slowly weaned me off of it and even at that I had allot of anger and rage the first week and I was never an angry person to begin with; it should be noted I was sober about 15 months when I went off.

Which brings me to my next point. You are combining a depressant with an anti-depressant and trying to come off both. Kinda screwed up don't ya think?

You mention that you keep trying to quit the drinking and you seem to be pretty disgusted with yourself. Remember, alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful. You want to stop, but she keeps calling and promising a good time, but that good time never comes. It is insane. Definition of insanity? Doing the same stupid stuff expecting different results? Now that's pretty messed up!

Only you can decide where you want to go with this. It is your choice and one you get to make everyday. But you see, the beautiful thing about sobriety is that it gives us back the power of choice.

What do you want?

Dan

I'd put money on that Homer. Zoloft is a heavy duty anti-depressant, no matter the dosage. Phone physician. Pronto.

In memory of miracle

If you look at it honestly your life sucks because you keep DRINKING ! Go to a meeting get some help . Until you do your life will be miserable and you will keep posting the same thing ..prayers are with you , Trish

Hgrokit

:

KelKel

Hi
Sorry to hear you are hurting right now. i take zoloft and whenever you stop taking any of the anti-depressant's (esp.cold turkey) you are going to have some side effects. I was on effexor and when I slowly stopped that one, I still had to deal with some very uncomforatble side effects, including anxiety attacks.
I hope you decide soon to stop drinking all together.
Let us know what we can do to help you...

IMHomerSimpson

Im so sorry for posting while not in a good state of mind yesterday.Im stressin out soooooo bad.It is the alcohol,my marriage,my anxieties and panic disorder,my job,basically at the moment everything.I still have not lost the rage yet,partly because Im being forced by my wife to go to a major league baseball game tomorrow(big crowds,big stadium,traffic),Im so scared to go,afraid of a panic attack,afraid of a bad cluster headache while there,just basically frightened even though I know its just a ball game.I think Im going crazy,really.

IMHomerSimpson

well my wife just called me,she is saying all the wrong things to me the last few days,I feel so out of love with her,actually feels more like hate.I cant control my thoughts/feelings right now.How does someone stop drinking in this state of mind? How?

Dan

Your state of mind...
You're drinking because you're an alcoholic Homer. Happy, sad, angry, thursday, winter, doesn't frigging matter.
An alcoholic stops drinking when he admits he's an alcoholic and gets help, in whatever form that may be.
Your wife telling you all the wrong things, as you say, has nothing to do with it man. You're an ALCOHOLIC. She could be whispering sweet nothings in your ear for all that would do. You'll drink until you're done drinking.
You know what others have done. It's all been posted to you countless times.
What you gonna do?

NoMoBeer

I know the feeling. I am an angry, ornery, S.O.B. when I am drinking. The fun is gone from drinking. Sorry I haven't responded to your email, but I have no access to webmail at work, I do have access here, though.

Dude, I didn't get to read all of the above posts, but caught a few glimpses of you "hitting your bottom." It doesn't have to be the traditional 'I lost everything' bottom, but it will be if you don't take care of things now. Although I have not been back to AA this week, I have seen (and experienced) it happen so many times. Every time I go back to drinking, it starts out OK, then gets worse and worse and by the time I say "I've had enough," it's a lower point than the time before. We can choose to stop now and go no lower. That's what I am trying to do (for today at least).

I will probably be needing a meeting this weekend, especially b/c that's where I really pile on the beers. Either way I can only live in today, otherwise I start worrying about tomorrow and that will make me drink to drown all that crap out.

Hope you are doing well, man -- PM me if you want, or just keep posting.

Ken

Hgrokit

Your WIFE!!!???

You are the one that's drunk dude. I would imagine it is you saying all the wrong things.

My suggestion to ou? Stopy you whining and if you are really sick and tired of being sick and tired - get to a meeting - check yourself into an in patient rehab. YOU, not anyone else are the only one that can deal with this issue and YOU, not anyone else bears responsibility for where yo are, what you are feeling and how anyone is treating you.

I think everyone on this board wants to help you and see you do well, but not until you are ready to "go to any length".

Hang in there - prayers are with you.

IMHomerSimpson

suk me

Hgrokit

Is that for anyone in general or all of us.

macca

You drink cause your an alky.I was on heavy prescibed drugs for anxiety but I got sober and then was able to deal with that.Keep on drinking and you may reach your bottom, if your lucky as many dont.I have lost to many great freinds who for them the door did not swing both ways

I wish you well,my freind

God Bless

Macca

IMHomerSimpson

went and sat outside my local aa meeting.I saw guys shaking hands and being all normal and i guess got scared and drove back home.Sat there 20 minutes.Just watched as people jogged by,walked their babies,and aa members bullshitted outde the church and then I drove off.I lost it tonite when my wife got home,she talked some **** I talked some **** then I ripped the handrail off the stairs and broke it into many peices.Im crazy I tell you.

peace2u

Hi Homer,
I'm a 43 year old alcoholic who's done some pretty lame things. :lame: Drinking since I was 17. Sober for 8 days now.

The reason I'm so far behind is that I didn't know I had a problem. I really thought everyone in the world drank....until I finally got my wake-up call.
I hope you get your wake-up call soon too. You're probably a really nice guy deep down inside...but no one can see it I'm guessing...i sure wish I could get you to that meeting...you were almost there and probably just needed a friend to get you to the door. Don't give up.

NoMoBeer

Buddy, that's a start.

If you are uncomfortable, go in right after the meeting starts and leave early. Once you get more comfortable, go early and stay after to get some numbers and meet some folks. As angry, bad and crazy as you may think you are, there are many worse in those rooms....

Stay well brother.

ken

Chy

Just stop, but honestly, you have to be ready!

I'll be the first to admit I wasn't the nicest of drunk wives to my hubby, but I gotta say, she's probably just saying all the right things your not ready to hear, don't be hard on her because you don't like yourself.