KellyToronto

I am just curious, as to how others cope with sitting at the Christmas dinner table, watching many other people imbibing their red wine.

It's just around the corner - again.

LexieCat

I imbibe iced tea or ice water (preferably tea, but water's fine if no tea is available).

Other people are drinking what I can't. *shrug* Doesn't mean I can't enjoy the meal. And the company and conversation are fine, too. Don't like it if people are loaded--that's my cue to go home early.

SoberLeigh

I host Christmas for the family so I am way too busy to keep close track. I love sparkling water and sparkling cider so I keep those choices closeby.

Sudz No More

I used to just try and overlook it and focus on enjoying my seltzer. These days though, the farther I get from alcohol the more I disassociate with it and the less it bothers me. I don't even think about it anymore, it's like someone saying they are heading out for a smoke. Shortly after I quit smoking the act of them doing that made me want one, now I couldn't care less. I have gotten that way with alcohol now, it just doesn't faze me like it used to.

Time heals all wounds, keep staying the course and those craving triggers will get smaller and smaller.

totfit

I have always found that I cope with it really well unless I imbibe myself. I have never managed to cope with that.

PurpleKnight

I had to get it into my mind I was a "non drinker" now!!

If I was pregnant, had a religious conviction not to drink, was sick, was a designated driver I wouldn't be drinking and that's the group I was in now!!

For me that change in viewpoint was crucial, rather than the alcoholic me that couldn't drink, I was now part of the non drinking group in the world, and there are millions out there that don't touch a drop whether it's Xmas, New Years, a birthday or a wedding!!

You can do this!!

Dee74

Good to see you Kelly

It's not something I notice anymore - I see it but it doesn't register.
If it did I'd remember all those red wine blackouts and headaches, black teeth and tongue, remembering the MANY MANY Xmas get together embarrassments...

Are you still active with your recovery? got other folks to talk to?

D

Soberpotamus

Hi Kelly

When I see wine drinking going on in front of me, I tend to file any of the mental discomfort away in the category of "that was the old me" or "that's not for me anymore" categories. Sometimes it causes me pangs of a desire for it, other times it's like it doesn't even phase me at all... just depends. Regardless of my instantaneous reaction, I just know that I "can't go there" anymore.

Lusher

Hey KellyToronto-

No doubt that this time of the year can be challenging for 'us types.'
I follow the same train of thought as Purpleknight. Have the mindset that booze is simply no longer an option. I mean don't ponder about how you think that you're missing out or anything of that nature; just go knowing that you don't drink- period, and focus on the company that you're with. (I'm not saying it's all that simple, as I well know, but it's more of the mindset I'm referring to)


Lusher

zjw

lucky for me no one else drinks in my family that lives locally anyhow. For me its always been a struggle to remain tolerant of others while remaining sober. I have to take numerous breaks away from the family during all the get togethers to get some air etc... I don't particularlily care for the get togethers so its tough for me to sit through them. I used to use booze to get me through along with breaks away. IE I'm gonna step outside or run to my house for something etc.. or I'll run to the store for that last min item any excuse to escape for a few minutes.

that's how I cope anyhow.

markz

I have recovered, so I dont notice, nor am I bothered. I go to functions or events, I do the sociable routine, I leave. I have a purpose to be there, I go. I never hide from alcohol, nor do I hide from society.

courage2

Hi Kelly! Nice to see you here!

I just was at a dinner where many people were drinking. There was a part of me that was counting their drinks, and a part of me that couldn't care less. By the time I quit, my alcoholic drinking was just between me & the bottle -- social drinking is pretty meaningless to me.

I admit that in the middle of the night, back home, I felt fretful and was wishing I weren't an alcoholic so I could partake. But I am, and I can't drink socially because it would just set me off. So that's that.

How to cope? I try not to fixate on the drinks, I try to enjoy the food and conversation, and if the food and conversation aren't very good, I try to be helpful by doing the dishes (which gives me an excuse to exit the table). And when I'm home, if the siren starts to sing, I play the tape all the way through.

LexieCat

If I hear any sirens behind me ON THE WAY home, I'm REALLY glad I haven't had a drink.

newpage119

I bring plenty of nonalcoholic drinks so that I have something safe. Also I bring WAY more than I could possibly ever drink, as I have found that the nonalcoholic drinks are becoming very popular!
Flavored club soda mixed with fruit juice or sparking juice is awesome. And anything is better is a real glass with a lime or lemon twist! Festive!

MIRecovery

In the beginning I didn't go. Today I have a dry house and if I venture into the land of the drinking I have an escape plan and usually bring a support person

fini

Kelly,
i don't "cope" as such, as there's nothing to cope with since i can choose what to focus on. and why focus on the booze/
so at the table i will turn left or right and speak with my neighbour. or i'll look for that second helping of the dish i'm enjoying the most. or i'll see if my old parents need a refill of something they can't reach, or i'll look over and listen to two sibs discussing the obsessive exercises they do....there's soooo much to pay attention to if you decide to.

wheresthefun

We all pretty much have reasons for what we choose to do, and what we choose not to do. I have my own personal reasons for not drinking, others have their reasons for drinking, and their drinking has no bearing on my not drinking, it's irrelevant.

Also, my being a non-drinker does not define who I am, it's just one thing about myself. So, I just enjoy all the positive things about the day, as it is. And yes, there are some negative/unpleasant things about the day, as well, that I just do my best to... tolerate.