Fishinainteasy

Ok. So I'm an active member of my church again, seeing a therapist, and reading quite a bit of recovery based/spiritual literature. But I'm scared it's not enough. I don't want to drink again. I barely escaped with my life this time and I don't want to go back. I'm working on fixing myself and my character flaws. And also my mental flaws. Isn't that what the steps are about? I will admit that I don't want to give up more of my time. But I'm willing. Am I doing enough? I have support and people I can confide in. I pray my tail off and am having a great go at it but when it comes to my sobriety. I want perfection from here on out. No more relapses. No more changing my mind but today I considered drinking and it scared me.

Coldfusion

Both my wife and I found the face-to-face support of AA to be invaluable in building a solid foundation for our sobriety. She stopped going to meetings and seeing her sponsor, but I am an "active" member--that is, I volunteer to run one meeting a week.

Fishinainteasy

Thanks. I'm a bit of a recluse so socializing in a face to face setting is good for me.

Grungehead

Fishinainteasy, I would suggest going to a few different meetings and get a feel for it. You don't have to commit to anything, but until you go and check it out you'll never really know if it's something that you think will aid you in your recovery. All I can tell you is that working the steps with a sponsor was a game changer for me. I've been in and out of recovery for close to 25 years, and after working the steps about a year and a half ago I finally found peace in sobriety.

MelindaFlowers

Give it a shot! They say you can always have your misery refunded at the door after 90 days if you don't like the program.

MaxxPower

The more tools for fighting alcoholism the merrier.

Better safe than sorry.

I've just recently started going myself. I'll do anything now to stay sober.

Every time I leave a meeting, I get a sense of peace that drinking couldn't provide anymore. For that I'm grateful.

I'm excited to fish sober now too!

Nevertheless

Most of the members of your church,and your therapist have probably never been addicted. The people at AA have.
For me it was good to be around people that had "been there done that",or going through the same thing I was.
You really have nothing to lose except a little time by checking it out.

Fred

barefootjunker

I would say go, get active, all the other things your doing is great but not one of them puts you in a one on one with someone who knows exactly what you feel and go through each day while being in recovery.

Nobody can qualify to an alcoholic like another alcoholic.

sugarbear1

Surrounding ourselves with others helps us, but working those steps with someone who understands how to guide someone through those steps is life changing.

desypete

not sure i understand what you mean by becoming an active aa memeber ?

if you mean get into service work by becoming a group memember and helping out with the running of a meeting then the answer is yes as service work really opened things up for me and taught me how to be grateful for all those other aa members who give up there time to make sure there is a meeting there open and ready for me or other new comers who might want to try out aa

its so important and i am sure any group would welcome you for an extra pair of hands etc
sadly not many in aa bother with doing service work, as there lives seem to be to busy these days for them to bother they seem to have forgotten that aa was there for them when they first came around as there lives have got better and they just go off on there own way

that is up to them by the way but i know what benefits i get out of giving service to aa it really does help me more than i ever knew it would

however there has to be a balance between everything i do in life

i have to work, rest, play, and aa is how i have my life today but i am always on hand if my phone goes and someone needs a hand etc as thats what i must do for me.

you sound like you have a lot of things all going on at the same time i understand your trying to get as much as you can from all points and it will not do you any harm unless of course you do to much of one thing and ignore other areas of life
then you can end up getting a resentment over things and stop doing them

i got resentful towards a lot of aa members who would come to meetings say there stuff and go home without a care for anyone else or helping out in the meetings etc yet they would tell us all how there now changed people

i would threaten to not do my part in aa as no one else was that type of thing until it was pointed out to me that i can only do my bit it doesnt matter what others do and i have to just accept it

so today i have found a balance that is right for me at this moment in time i work, i play, i rest, and i do aa and help out etc

so try not to do to much is my advise as you can burn yourself out and ending up feeling resentful towards others who dont do what you do and thats no good

do you have a sponsor ? as this is how a sponsor would try to help and guide you in this way

IOAA2

Hi.
I found that it’s great to be among people who understand me because they identify with another alcoholic. Church people can be great but they “just don’t get it” normally.

Getting active, and I’ve been for years, helps me getting out of my isolation mode and help repay for all the help I received over the years along with making new friends.

BE WELL

Fly N Buy

Glad you're here!!
When I got to the place of entirely ready to quit and stay stopped, I had to go to any lengths. Sobriety is and was first and foremost in my life.

What that means to you is for you to decide. AA gives us a fellowship - that's nice - but most importantly a program to grow in emotional sobriety and stay stopped. It works for many who are truly willing and desirous.

That said, many achieve sobriety with SR and a variety of other recovery programs. What ever genuinely works for YOU is what's enough. ACTION and not simply knowledge directed by self will is vital.

What does considered drinking mean? You had a fleeting thought or a long debate with yourself including action moving toward the drink????

Did you call someone to help you through it?

I think these are a couple of questions you may ask yourself if what you're doing is enough, perhaps.

We want you with us and Sober!!!
So glad you posted, and glad you're here!

Kind Regards,
FlyN

Fishinainteasy

By active I meant just going and getting involved in the program. See what happens from there.
Hello FlyN. I didn't drive to the store nor was it just a thought. I mentioned to my wife that I wanted to drink and we talked it out and played it through to the end. It wasn't a crippling feeling but I guess I could've fallen into it given the right/wrong circumstances. I need a mental fortress or something.

Fishinainteasy

I was and truly am scared deep down to drink again though. Not so much scared that I will. Scared of the consequences and understanding that it isn't for me anymore. (If it ever was)It is one of the things keeping me sober. 11 days today!

Gottalife

I found that to stay sober without fear it was necessary for me to take the steps, and develop the steps as a way of life. The short version, trust God, clean house, help others. The drink problem will be removed, life will take on new meaning.

biminiblue

I think it's normal to have thoughts of drinking. It was a big part of your life.

They are just thoughts. You say you pray - I pray when that happens. The trick is to have tools when those thoughts come. I have a lot of thoughts that mean nothing, the brain stores and accesses things randomly.

You might like AA. You might not. Nothing to lose by going, and you will find people who understand.

Soberwolf

Well done on 11 days sober Fishin aint easy

Kensho

I have 24 days without a drink. I have been to an AA meeting almost every one of those days, a couple of times two meetings a day. And I have been trying different meetings with different people. You don't have to say anything, just sit and listen if you want. As biminiblue said, you really have nothing to lose.

bunnezjp

The real question is, do YOU think you're doing enough?

Bunnez

gravity

I did multiple things including AA to build a solid foundation. I think where I'm at today is that it is my spiritualism that keeps me sober one day at a time. I learned to rely on and trust in my higher power through the steps. I read somewhere that sometimes the only thing between an alcoholic and a drink is his/her higher power and after 7 years of sobriety, I believe this to be true.