SonomaGal

I've cried so much this year. Big giant cries that are so cathartic. I've woken up and cried, I've cried at work, I've cried on the bathroom floor. The last time I cried this much was in 2001 when someone broke my heart into a million pieces.

In the beginning it seemed like depression, but now with 13 months, it's much clearer that it's so healthy. Its a chance to mourn a whole lot of challenges, and loss that I hadn't fully dealt with.

I am an emotional person who does their best to analyze why things happen, but I think I was lacking in acceptance and forgiveness for myself and others. I was also lacking in good coping skills for painful and stressful situations. So I held onto a lot, much more than I ever knew. Relearning how to be vulnerable and honest, rather than angry and righteous is such a powerful experience for me. Thank you sobriety!!!

Hope you're all enjoying your Sunday!

Kaneda8888

Wow, that's amazing Sonomagirl !

It sounds like you've going through a process of healing. Brilliant (though it musn't be easy) ! Keep going and moving forward !!

I did have a lovely Sunday, thanks and same to you Its Monday in Oz

OklaBH

I agree. A could cry is a huge stress release, get it all out! Great post

Aellyce

I like this, SonomaGal

It's definitely very liberating to be able to get in touch with that vulnerability, and then express and share it with others. Some of my best moments in life. I did have quite a lot of problems experiencing and expressing my vulnerability when I was younger, I think mostly because I did so in my childhood and I did not tend to get good reactions to it from the external world. So you know what happens: we learn to suppress these feelings either consciously, or they get repressed with time, in order to "survive" and be able to function.

Interestingly, I cried a lot more drunk (far more than ever in sobriety)... and subjectively at those times I tended to feel that I was experiencing something extremely profound and real. I tended to think that drinking brought out some very deep emotions from me. Maybe... But I definitely did not have the presence to experience them fully, in a real way. So I have a very different opinion on this now. Would not trade my sober perception of my emotional life with anything! It's also more balanced, less extreme, and just in general more realistic for me. More satisfying and life-enriching as well.

Great work, thank you for your post

KenL

Yeah, sometimes things just don't need to be figured out.

Sometimes things are just what they are, and that's ok.

Vulnerability leads to trust, truth and knowledge.

You've grown a bit, SG.

Awesome! Great post!

readerbaby71

Great post! Thank you.

Carbonized

My problem with this is that once you are done crying, exactly nothing has changed other than you might feel a bit better due to stress being lowered.

Kaneda8888

That's exactly the change ! Crying is cathartic and releases all the pent up emotions inside you ! Speaking from having a similar type of experience, on the outside it may seem nothing has changed but on the inside, there has been a seismic change.

Carbonized

My last breakdown only confirmed to me my state of inferiority. If i wasn't a lesser being, i wouldn't have been in the position to have things build up to that point.

It all changed for the same.