ubntubnt

yeah we used to call them "bonus rounds" but it became too hard to keep up so we all switched to wine and just told the barman to keep sending over bottles which everyone shared so none knew now much everyone else was drinking just that we were all plastered every time. Near the end I remember 5 of us being on a bender and the waitress was sending them over 2 bottles at a time. By the end of the dinner and before midnight we were 16 bottles down...we kept going until around 7am that night in different bars. We had switched to sambuca after the wine and then back to beer to try sober up. Amazing how quickly it goes from normal to a bit twisted to totally f**ked.

MelindaFlowers

Lol!!! I found myself nodding my head as I read this. I can so relate!

White wine was like water.

Ken33xx

And there you have it.

dwtbd

I never realy had a problem with the drinking, it was the getting drunk part I had a problem with. I thought I could fool myself into thinking I would stop before I got drunk, but its hard to keep up the pretense after the inhibitions wear off with the first few. Getting drunk costs too much for me: mind, body and spirit. So I quit drinking to stop the being drunk part.

polaris

I remember many times where I would go to the liquor store with the intention of buying enough to just get a "decent buzz" (i.e. a couple 24 oz of Steel Reserve, a six pack of King Cobra pints, etc.) and then before even making it to the register I would decide the amount wasnt enough and that I needed to buy more...

Carbonized

That was me also. Worst possible thing that could happen would be that i couldn't get a decent enough buzz so i had to pile it on to ensure i was totally blasted. Had to make sure the buzz was on.

MelindaFlowers

This gave me a chuckle because I can relate. Any "controlled amount" never worked.

I had all the math down perfectly. It went in three/four day cycles. I drank 500 ml vodka a night which is 2/3 of a fifth.

Day one I would buy a fifth and end up with 1/3 of a fifth left.
Day two I would buy a new fifth, finish the 1/3 of the first one and 1/3 of the second one. This left me with exactly 2/3 of a fifth for day three.
Day three I would have my exact amount, 2/3 of a fifth left, right? Wrong. I would buy another one in case the 2/3 wasn't quite enough that night. Had to have a reserve. What if I spilled a drink?
Day four I would be joyous to arrive home to a full or almost full bottle!

That gave a headache even typing that. Active alcoholism is so damn stressful! So relieved to be sober. I will say that my mental math skills became quite advanced from all that though!

ubntubnt

haha, yes I can relate. I used to limit myself to 1 bottle of wine per day. But then I used to worry that my wife would want a glass so I would buy a second bottle just in case so that I had her glass covered. THEN....I would drink my bottle and encourage her to have a glass so that I could open the second bottle and then you know....once opened red wine goes stale zoo easily, better to finish it off.....

MelindaFlowers

Rereading this thread tonight and it's bringing back some memories.

I would look at a half bottle of vodka and not feel relief, like relaxed but worry.......

Will that be enough? That won't be enough. I've had three so far. Can I drive to get more? No, I shouldn't drive, I'll walk to the store. God, such a long walk. Maybe it'll be enough. It'll be enough......it won't be enough. Crap. Where are my keys?

markz

Sorry, I was being sarcastic. Which is hard to portray in textual form.
The point was at the end, we alcoholics think about drinking. "Normies" don't!
So it was an oxymoron too I guess. If you are here, and you are looking for help, then you probably have a problem with alcohol, you are probably an alcoholic. No one can diagnose that but yourself. The "Controlled Drinking" idea or "Moderated drinking" is just more "research", just more lies our brain tells us. Normies do not do that.

MelindaFlowers

Take a look at my join date. I spent four years trying to moderate my drinking.

Every night was a clean slate to try my moderating experiment again, and again, and again. There is no sarcasm here either. I really thought I would moderate, eventually.

Every morning I woke up and said to myself, in all seriousness, i've really gotta cut back tonight. Or maybe I won't drink tonight. I really should cut back to just weekends I really thought that one night I'd stop at two or three. "Maybe tonight? Yeah tonight! Nah, I'll cut back tomorrow."

I gave up any hope of moderating and haven't had a drink since June.