For those tortured by PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) and who fear they might go mad Part 5
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For those tortured by PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) and who fear they might go mad Part 5
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And for what it’s worth, I wanna add my antidepressant was rendered ineffective all the while during those relapses.
On top of all the withdrawals with alcohol, I’m feeling the effects of the antidepressant being restored to bring my serotonin levels back to normal.
On top of all the withdrawals with alcohol, I’m feeling the effects of the antidepressant being restored to bring my serotonin levels back to normal.
glad you're here.
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Birmingham, England
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Bad day for me. Extremely flat and lacking in energy. The night before I had some disturbing dreams about my late parents. Really shook me as they seemed so real. I’m not a regular AA attendee but did go to a meeting, to get out of the house and to stop myself thinking
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Join Date: Nov 2022
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Spen 71 Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I always find that I feel better when I get out to do just about anything. With that said, I must say that rainy weather sucks even when I get out. Driving in the rain is challenging ever since PAWS. I am not sure how the rest of you are affected by rain but it depletes my energy immensely. It has rained here for three days and heavy! If this continues I may build an ark in my backyard...lol
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Originally Posted by biminiblue;[url=tel:7928680
Thanks for asking.
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Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Texas
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The bad days and recurring mental turmoil are the really challenging part of all of this. After getting over the worst of PAWS, trying to find a comfortable, safe headspace drags on for so long it becomes exhausting. It seems like it will never end, though it will. Being willing to wait years for that to happen, though, tests my mettle sometimes.
It's as if I've escaped from hell but right outside hell's gate is a vast, untamed wilderness that I have to navigate through before I'll reach a truly safe, civilized place to call home. Compared to full-blown PAWS, the wilderness is a welcome relief. Gone are the never-ending hellfire, burning pinchers and howling screams of agony and torment. But the trees, bramble, thorny bushes, rocks, wide open skies and desolate landscape I currently find myself in are not a place I want to settle down in. I have to keep moving in search of safety even though I'm tired and the thought of keeping on through this jungle with its ebb and flow of ongoing anxiety, depression, anhedonia, etc. for potentially years to come is deflating.
But onwards I go as there really isn't any other choice. Hope everyone is doing okay.
Were your meds still working well before you decided to indulge for a bit? Was it boredom that precipitated your slip, or were the meds proving to be less effective in preserving your mental even keel even before you took that first sip?
It's as if I've escaped from hell but right outside hell's gate is a vast, untamed wilderness that I have to navigate through before I'll reach a truly safe, civilized place to call home. Compared to full-blown PAWS, the wilderness is a welcome relief. Gone are the never-ending hellfire, burning pinchers and howling screams of agony and torment. But the trees, bramble, thorny bushes, rocks, wide open skies and desolate landscape I currently find myself in are not a place I want to settle down in. I have to keep moving in search of safety even though I'm tired and the thought of keeping on through this jungle with its ebb and flow of ongoing anxiety, depression, anhedonia, etc. for potentially years to come is deflating.
But onwards I go as there really isn't any other choice. Hope everyone is doing okay.
Originally Posted by Introvrtd1 
And for what it’s worth, I wanna add my antidepressant was rendered ineffective all the while during those relapses.
On top of all the withdrawals with alcohol, I’m feeling the effects of the antidepressant being restored to bring my serotonin levels back to normal.
On top of all the withdrawals with alcohol, I’m feeling the effects of the antidepressant being restored to bring my serotonin levels back to normal.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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adair, that sounds bleak.
The three legs of the stool that keep me level are getting enough sleep, eating a lot of whole foods, and getting regular exercise.
Other than that, I did have to do some inner work on letting go, forgiveness/grace, walking away from stressful people and situations, picking my battles, and just generally focusing on gratitude and happy thoughts. I also chose to stay off social media and to stop engaging with the news.
I am what I think.
I control my thoughts, they don't control me.
The three legs of the stool that keep me level are getting enough sleep, eating a lot of whole foods, and getting regular exercise.
Other than that, I did have to do some inner work on letting go, forgiveness/grace, walking away from stressful people and situations, picking my battles, and just generally focusing on gratitude and happy thoughts. I also chose to stay off social media and to stop engaging with the news.
I am what I think.
I control my thoughts, they don't control me.
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Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Texas
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A bit bleak, sure. But honestly recognizing and letting myself dwell in the bleakness is what I need at the moment. Up 'til now, I have been largely avoiding the negative aspects of my life, denying them and holding them off while waiting for better days to come. Fingers in the ears while singing 'la, la, la' and all that. Somehow hoping the worst of the bad will somehow evaporate on its own, merely by not drinking. But that's not how life works and I need to change my attitude if I am to navigate through the wild, untamed places of my mind without being dragged down by them.
In the military, there's an oft-repeated phrase 'Embrace the suck.' It means consciously accepting the disagreeable aspects of an unavoidable and unsavory situation in order to be able to progress through it. That is what I need to do here. The only way out is through.
Everything you've done, biminiblue - letting go, forgiveness/grace, walking away from stressful people and situations, picking my battles, and just generally focusing on gratitude and happy thoughts. I also chose to stay off social media and to stop engaging with the news - is good stuff. And I see there is a path before me that allows me to get somewhere similar. But step one is to make an honest assessment of where I am and sit unflinchingly with all parts of myself. Embrace the suck rather than avoid it.
In the military, there's an oft-repeated phrase 'Embrace the suck.' It means consciously accepting the disagreeable aspects of an unavoidable and unsavory situation in order to be able to progress through it. That is what I need to do here. The only way out is through.
Everything you've done, biminiblue - letting go, forgiveness/grace, walking away from stressful people and situations, picking my battles, and just generally focusing on gratitude and happy thoughts. I also chose to stay off social media and to stop engaging with the news - is good stuff. And I see there is a path before me that allows me to get somewhere similar. But step one is to make an honest assessment of where I am and sit unflinchingly with all parts of myself. Embrace the suck rather than avoid it.
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Fair enough. . . as long as it's just a passing acquaintance. It's all too easy for me to get into a negative thought loop and that's a very dangerous place.
Of course we all have dark thoughts at times. Fear is a powerful emotion and it's usually right at the surface waiting to pounce. I don't like opening the cage door even a tiny bit.
Of course we all have dark thoughts at times. Fear is a powerful emotion and it's usually right at the surface waiting to pounce. I don't like opening the cage door even a tiny bit.
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One thing I learned with cravings and withdrawal combined: make sure you are eating good and drinking... both long before you feel hungry or thirsty! Keep the gut moving and fluids keep the toxics flowing on their way out. Huge bottles of seltzer were my friend, as well as water with lemon in it.
I'll have many stories of relapses that resulted due to getting behind in food and fluid intake.
I'll have many stories of relapses that resulted due to getting behind in food and fluid intake.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Belgrade
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What do you guys think about the use of benzos during recovery , i use them very carefully and rare , but i still sometimes use them as an escape from anxiety , do you think that it is completely destroying my progress or slowing it down ? Because i am in my fifth month of sobriety and i have seen no improvements in anxiety , sometimes i don't take them for 5 days and i have no withdrawal symptoms or anything so i know that i am not physically addicted to them , but it would still be very hard to stop them completely because my anxiety if still sky high.
Any advice is appreciated
Any advice is appreciated
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Belgrade
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They are prescribed for sleep ,, but since i quit drinking i have been using them for anxiety basically , i am still using the same dose and on many days i don't take them at all , but i am just wondering if they are slowing down my recovery from PAWS.
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There is a school of thought that says PAWs definitely applies for benzos too. Google benzos and Paws and you can make up your own mind.
I think it really would be worth talking about this with your doctor too - its a good idea anyway with any prescribed drug that you have concerns about.
and who knows, there may be other treatments for anxiety that are less risky in a possible addiction or dependence sense.
D
I think it really would be worth talking about this with your doctor too - its a good idea anyway with any prescribed drug that you have concerns about.
and who knows, there may be other treatments for anxiety that are less risky in a possible addiction or dependence sense.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2020
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LazaB - Reaction to benzos and even ssri's can vary widely from person to person. Finding the best treatment generally involves some measure of trial and error and working closely with a medical professional. Definitely, though, if what you're currently doing isn't working, try something different.
Concerning physical health (healthy diet, physical exercise, good sleep) as a foundation for improved mental health, I absolutely agree. The first phase of my recovery plan involved taking back control of my physical body. I'm now eating healthy, walking daily, running twice a week, sleeping solidly and have even succeeded in getting my body into a fat adapted state after years of nursing along an unhealthy glucose dependency. My physical health is better than it has been in decades.
It's second phase of my recovery plan that is tripping me up a bit - a focus on my mental health issues. It's the stuff spinning around my head that has always overwhelmed me and something I've always tried to avoid dealing with, to the point that I would pick up again rather than face myself. It's painful. Now that I'm committed to truly look at my mental health with as much honesty and objectivity as I can muster, it's as if the floodgates have opened. Decades worth of self-awareness and self-knowledge that I have always swept under the rug are suddenly bursting through the dam all at once. I see myself more clearly than I ever have before and it's more than a bit disconcerting, as much of it is not very pretty to look at. But being genuinely aware of where I am mentally and emotionally is the first step towards a healthy mental life.
Back when I was starting to become physically fit, I calmly took stock of my situation and dispassionately made a plan to improve my fitness. I didn't beat myself up because I couldn't run a 9-minute mile. I am adopting a similar approach to my mental health. I am where I am. There are improvements to be made. But there is no self-judgement on the shape I'm in or how I got here. Only a willingness and heartfelt desire to get better, step by step, bit by bit.
Concerning physical health (healthy diet, physical exercise, good sleep) as a foundation for improved mental health, I absolutely agree. The first phase of my recovery plan involved taking back control of my physical body. I'm now eating healthy, walking daily, running twice a week, sleeping solidly and have even succeeded in getting my body into a fat adapted state after years of nursing along an unhealthy glucose dependency. My physical health is better than it has been in decades.
It's second phase of my recovery plan that is tripping me up a bit - a focus on my mental health issues. It's the stuff spinning around my head that has always overwhelmed me and something I've always tried to avoid dealing with, to the point that I would pick up again rather than face myself. It's painful. Now that I'm committed to truly look at my mental health with as much honesty and objectivity as I can muster, it's as if the floodgates have opened. Decades worth of self-awareness and self-knowledge that I have always swept under the rug are suddenly bursting through the dam all at once. I see myself more clearly than I ever have before and it's more than a bit disconcerting, as much of it is not very pretty to look at. But being genuinely aware of where I am mentally and emotionally is the first step towards a healthy mental life.
Back when I was starting to become physically fit, I calmly took stock of my situation and dispassionately made a plan to improve my fitness. I didn't beat myself up because I couldn't run a 9-minute mile. I am adopting a similar approach to my mental health. I am where I am. There are improvements to be made. But there is no self-judgement on the shape I'm in or how I got here. Only a willingness and heartfelt desire to get better, step by step, bit by bit.
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