MelindaFlowers

I have a question. Who was never in denial about their drinking? Like you were keenly aware that you were an alcoholic from the time it became a problem? And then just continued anyway? I was almost too comfortable with the knowledge that I was an alcoholic. It worried me a little but but only until that third drink went down the hatch.

This was me in line at the liquor store, every night, thinking:

I am an alcoholic. This is killing me. Fifth of vodka please!

I am curious if others were never in denial? Did this help or hinder stopping?

OklaBH

The guy at the gas station knew my name (although I pay in cash) and used to say "i knew you'd be in today"

Nah....I got this under control! What a joke

Ghostlight1

I was never in denial. I just didn't know there was a name for what I had become. Alcoholic. And I was one since the first drink at age fourteen.
In my adult life, I really didn't know what was wrong with me until I went to AA and heard others say, "I'm an alcoholic". Then I knew.

jazzfish

I don't think I was ever in denial about being an alcoholic. But I was in denial about what the full implications of being an alcoholic meant for consequences of drinking and getting sober.

GracieLou

This!


I always knew I drank to much but what being an alcoholic really meant, I had no clue. What AA is really all about, I had no clue. What it meant to be sober and to have peace and serenity, I had no clue.

I always placed "functioning" in front of my alcoholic name. That word gave me an excuse but I was not denying it. I never said "I don't have a problem", because I never viewed it as a problem.

I worked, had a car, no brushes with the law, I had my kids, a roof over my head and food in the fridge..no problems here!

I was in denial about what it had done to me and my family. How much it robbed me and them. That was what I could say I was in denial about. I never thought I was hurting myself much less them.

Soberwolf

I honestly didnt think i was alcoholic

looking back it was obvious but i didnt see myself as a alcoholic

Even my gf didnt think i was

17 months sober in 9 days

islandgrrl

I knew I was an alcoholic for years before I quit. I constantly worried about the state of my liver, checked my eyes for jaundice, wondered if I had pancreatic cancer...on and on and on. It was so stressful, I have no idea how I continued on drinking for so many years. If I had that kind of reaction to my job (or anything else) I would have quit after three weeks.

DoubleDragons

I knew that I never had a healthy relationship with alcohol from the moment I started drinking at age 15, but at the same token, I don't think I truly understood what "normal drinking" was either. My husband and I were both raised by heavy drinkers/alcoholics so I never really saw an example of what a "normal" drinker looked like. I wasn't in denial, but I didn't give it enough thought either.

zjw

I had fleeting moments where I would think lol I'm an alcoholic. it was a big joke to me really.

But I hit a crossroads at a point where my wife didn't nag me as much about my drinking. and I fully embraced my habit. I started to stop adding any sort of restrictions to my consumption (or at least trying too) I quit thinking all my little rules like no beer till after 5 where stupid and started to drink whenever I felt like it assuming I didn't have to drive anywhere. I basicly fully embraced accepted my habit I quit allowin the potential that I might have a problem to bother me. It was once I crossed this bridge that my habit really took a nosedive. my consumption went throught he roof. I started maken my own wine reading up how to destill etc... I really just went at it full force as if I was not bad enough as it was.

I guess I just never saw "alcoholic" as problematic at least not for me anyhow. If anything it was a comical badge of honor and had no negative stigma at all to me.

gaffo

I remember telling my mom I was an alcoholic when I was nineteen. I quit when I was 46.

zjw

funny how that sort of thing works "oh i'll quit tomorrow......" 3 decades later "maybe I should quit?"

LBrain

Me too. I knew from that first time I drank. and what jazzfish said.

zjw

YEP normal to me was having some beer each evening. however many that was didn't matter. going fishing or something ? bring more beer wtvr it was normal to be drinking beer all the time. After all that's what my step father did all the time along with his friends. I just assumed that was normal.

When I sobered up I started to question if many of my stepfathers flaws where the direct result of what I had considered his normal drinking all my life. Makes me wonder what kind of a person he would have been if he did not drink. I'll never know however.

GracieLou

My daughter told me is an alcoholic, she is 24. I hope she does not wait as long as I did. I am 46 too!

Nonsensical

+1

I called myself an alcoholic, but I was ignorant about what that actually meant.

Soberpotamus

Jazzfish worded well how I experienced it. I was never in denial about my drinking, however I was in denial over the severity perhaps? The severity of the effects on my life quality. I think somehow I felt I was "cheating" the alcoholic genes or tendencies that I inherited from my family. As if I had more control, abilities, intelligence, etc to handle it. Ha! It snuck up on me

Nonsensical

And back in 1991 when I hit my first AA meetings and I was told it would get worse if I didn't quit now - I was definitely in denial about that. No way I'll ever get THAT bad.

I got THAT bad.

Joe Nerv

About 2 weeks after discovering the effects of alcohol, I knew I was about to become an alcoholic. As far as I was concerned, it was worth it. About a year into my drinking I knew I had succeeded. I drank every day, and couldn't not drink. It took me about 4 years from that point to become completely non functional and have no other choice than to stop. Never had any intention of doing that (stopping), was just given no other alternative to getting my life back.

gaffo

After three years of sobriety I'm continuing to learn just how bad being an active alcoholic is. I don't think I denied it, I just don't think I noticed it while I was a drunk.

Andante

Didn't have much denial about being an alcoholic.

Had a LOT more denial about needing to quit drinking.