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-   -   What was your tipping point? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/352376-what-your-tipping-point.html)

DownButNotOut83 12-02-2014 01:44 AM

What was your tipping point?
 
Just curious to gain a perspective... What made you finally choose to get sober?

MelindaFlowers 12-02-2014 02:01 AM

The daily hangovers had turned into withdrawal. I didn't really think about it at the time because I was going to work everyday and "functioning" (yeah right). My heart would pound in my chest and beat irregularly. One particular morning sticks out to me: I was at work first thing checking emails, hungover to the gills, and I could not sit still or read through an email. I had to pace around my office just to breath. It was probably the worst feeling I have ever felt. I knew my life was becoming unmanageable. It was torture.

Drinking at night stopped calming me or making me feel good. My hands still trembled slightly after eight drinks. Still not sure why. I guess I wasn't drinking enough to calm the withdrawals?

My health was deteriorating. Extremely high blood pressure, liver pains, sweating, racing heart, pure torture.

I could not remember the last day I was not hungover. When I did manage to take acre days off the hangover lasted for days. I never puked, just all the symptoms listed above.

Never arrested, never lost a job. Never even missed a day at work. But I was dying in every way inside and our. I stopped because I didn't want to die in my mid-thirties. Alcohol stopped working in any way, shape or form.

The hangovers were becoming worse and worse and worse..........unbearable. Unfathomable that a human being can feel that terrible and still breath and walk and talk.

Hendrix 12-02-2014 02:34 AM

Great idea for a post, Down - and Melinda, your post rings so true to me that i could have written it about myself!

I was just thinking after breakfast (yeah, I actually eat breakfast now :biggthump ) that I need to remind myself of my reasons for stopping drinking. The further I get from my last drink the dimmer those memories are getting.

I don't think I had just one tipping point - I'd been trying on and off to stop drinking for over 15 years. Mine was an accumulation of symptoms and the realisation that next year I'll be the same age as my old man was when he died.............48.

If I carry on drinking I might just carry on a family tradition.

MelindaFlowers 12-02-2014 02:59 AM

One more I forgot: reverse tolerance had started. It was taking less quantity to get drunk and blackout. Very scary. I managed all this by 32.

DownButNotOut83 12-02-2014 02:59 AM

It helps to hear this, thank you. I need to remember why im fighting :)

FeelingGreat 12-02-2014 03:17 AM

I knew it was very bad for me, and had spoken to my doctor, but the tipping point was to prove to myself that I could give up drinking. At the time my DIL was trying to stop smoking and I wasn't terribly sympathetic, then I thought I had no right to speak if I couldn't stop drinking.

But that was just the tipping point as I had been building up to it for a month or two.

Pipping 12-02-2014 03:51 AM

I was either drunk, asleep or hungover. While drinking I would chain smoke cigarettes and order pizza online to be delivered. I remember ( vaguely) the pizza delivery boy staring at me one afternoon when he was on my doorstep waiting off me to find the money in my purse. I assumed it was because I was hot. I think it had more to do with the fact I was steaming drunk at 3 in the afternoon wearing pyjamas and smoking. I didn't shower for days. The final straw was having to go in to my work as a patient due to my drinking. I was a mess and it had to stop.

resolute50 12-02-2014 04:07 AM


Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers (Post 5052114)
The daily hangovers had turned into withdrawal. I didn't really think about it at the time because I was going to work everyday and "functioning" (yeah right). My heart would pound in my chest and beat irregularly. One particular morning sticks out to me: I was at work first thing checking emails, hungover to the gills, and I could not sit still or read through an email. I had to pace around my office just to breath. It was probably the worst feeling I have ever felt. I knew my life was becoming unmanageable. It was torture.

Drinking at night stopped calming me or making me feel good. My hands still trembled slightly after eight drinks. Still not sure why. I guess I wasn't drinking enough to calm the withdrawals?

My health was deteriorating. Extremely high blood pressure, liver pains, sweating, racing heart, pure torture.

I could not remember the last day I was not hungover. When I did manage to take acre days off the hangover lasted for days. I never puked, just all the symptoms listed above.

Never arrested, never lost a job. Never even missed a day at work. But I was dying in every way inside and our. I stopped because I didn't want to die in my mid-thirties. Alcohol stopped working in any way, shape or form.

The hangovers were becoming worse and worse and worse..........unbearable. Unfathomable that a human being can feel that terrible and still breath and walk and talk.

This, except I was in my 50s.
It was a terrible existence.

DownButNotOut83 12-02-2014 04:12 AM

I feel you pipping. It's terrible when you go into a gas station and the morning clerk says, in front of my wife, no vodka today? The morning clerk. I've never met the night ones. Already drunk and passed out by then

stephendu 12-02-2014 04:44 AM

I had to want it for myself and on my terms.

barefootjunker 12-02-2014 04:46 AM

Waking up in jail with no memory of why.

AF4good 12-02-2014 09:08 AM

I was at the point of drinking every night just to stop shaking. My bowel moments were all liquid. Then I could not eat before being drunk. Then when I took a swallow one night I almost threw it right up. Did not drink the rest of that night. Saw dr couple days later for blood work. Results were disastrous. Dr referred me to detox. Been down this road before. This time I know I can't moderate. Must remain alcohol free for good if I want to live..

OklaBH 12-02-2014 09:35 AM

Well, I had many many indications that quitting would be most beneficial. I kept fighting though. I knew I could handle it! WRONG! As crazy as it sounds, the breaking point was PURE EXHAUSTION. There is no fight left in this dog. I broke down and totally gave up.

Nonsensical 12-02-2014 09:40 AM

It came to the point where I had to choose between booze or everything else I ever wanted.

Lusher 12-02-2014 09:43 AM

16 months ago I received a call from my doctor's office in reference to some blood work that I had done. My liver enzymes were really elevated to the point that I was not only very concerned, but also very disgusted in myself for letting things get so out of hand.

I stopped that very moment, and thankfully I've been able to stay the course. Not an easy thing at first, as stopping was not even on my radar and booze was my life.

It turned out to be one of the best phone calls that I've ever received!


Lusher

SDH73 12-02-2014 09:50 AM

For me it's been a slow build. I've known for a while that the next step in my personal evolution is to quit drinking. I've been sort of circling the drain for the last 10 years or so: job I don't like in a field that doesn't interest me, no girlfriends, no social life, just booze.

I'm in my 40's now and I want more. I don't need to take a break from drinking, I need to STOP drinking altogether if I'm going to get back out into the world and be productive.

So, here I am.

lovesymphony 12-02-2014 09:53 AM

I knew I was an alcoholic and didn't care until I got laid off work and lost all control. That beer I was used to in the morning to get myself going would turn into an all day drinking party alone in my room and driving back and forth to the store. I didn't care if I died but I didn't want to kill anyone in a wreck. Driving to get more all the time made me feel real guilty and took a lot of the fun out of drinking.

0percentABV 12-02-2014 12:57 PM

I always prided myself on my drinking. I used to drink a lot as a teen then it dramatically dropped and for many years I was mostly just a weekend warrior (though looking back now it wasn't all "no big deal") Then things started to slip. Hangovers were becoming too frequent. Cutting back seemed to be harder and harder and my intake was becoming more and more. And like MelindaFlowers the days of drinking, getting drunk, then waking up and shaking off the cobwebs and getting back to life just wasn't happening anymore. It was becoming more of an ordeal than I ever thought would happen. I had to attend some treatment classes as a teen and 20 years later all the things I was told about alcoholism was now happening to me. I fought it because I thought I wasn't one of them but after a couple years of the fight I couldn't do it anymore. The anxiety, the hangovers, the constant thinking about drinking and the uncontrollable feeling I was now experiencing just made me finally give up. Had a rock bottom of course, we all do, and it was then that I knew that I wasn't in the drivers seat anymore. Either I take the wheel or let booze send me face first through the windshield.

I stay sober because I never want to feel that way again. 2 hours of drunken bliss is not worth the day of pain that follows.

MelindaFlowers 12-02-2014 03:17 PM

This is a great discussion. It's really helping me today.

I thought I'd toss in one more thing that was part of my tipping point.

I gained 70 lbs in 5 years from drinking about 1,800 calories every night, seven days a week. Fast food followed every day too.

I went from a somewhat attractive healthy person to an obese red blob. I no longer recognized myself in pictures, literally. I would see pictures on Facebook and not realize it was me until I clicked in it and zoomed in.

black789 12-03-2014 03:43 AM

i had toyed with the idea of quitting for quite a long time i was sick of high blood pressure and weight gain red blotchy skin and although others were not noticing i was noticing i was looking rough. I was starting to get embarrassed being seen buying alcohol everyday trying to go between different shops even across one or two towns shameful and the fear i wouldnt be there for my children if something happened to me


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