lastchance4me

How do you "remember", follow through on daily necessities such as remembering to eat (I know... sounds silly but happens) drinking water not caffeine etc.
Also. How do you take pride each day on being sober without sabotaging yourself? Whenever I count days or my husband tells me I am doing well, I fail.
Had 10 days. Don't remember feeling so good... then yep. Drank last night.
Please share with me what helps you.
I want to succeed and want to be proud of myself each day, but don't know how.
Yes. I am serious.
Thank you in advance.

OklaBH

Write down a schedule if u need to, hour by hour. The only time I wouldn't est is when drinking ... Didn't want to lose the buzz

gracetuesday

I think a schedule/routine are critical when developing new patterns..... I find going to AA meetings very helpful also. I drank in the evenings. Meetings fill a couple of hours on the nights I go.

Also, basic stuff I neglected while drinking - like cleaning my house/car/shopping for clothes/homestuff do fill time also.

Wishing you the best!

Hope4Life

One minute, hour or day at a time...just do the next right thing.

Find a local AA fellowship and go to meetings. Arrive early and hang around afterwards so you can chat with folks, you might even make some sober friends.

Get a Big Book and read the first 162 pages.

IOAA2

Hi.
I don’t know if it’s the aging process, pride, ego or anything else but I still “refuse” to write it down always thinking I’ll remember it. I at times go to another room and forget what it was I’m after, after less than 10 seconds!
I’m encouraged that I recall a talk show where someone called in describing something like I do and the response was “that’s OK or normal, it’s when we find the car keys and don’t recall what they are for is a problem.”

BE WELL

FeelingGreat

lastchsnce, the main thing you need to remember is 'don't drink alcohol'. Water, food etc, well most people eat and drink if they need to.
Food, get in lots of healthy food and make a meal plan for a week.
Stock up with soft drinks, tea, juice, whatever you need to substitute.

There's nothing too mysterious about relapsing once you're doing well. It's called the AV or alcoholic voice, and it will take any chance to convince you it's ok to drink again. If you learn to listen for it, you'll have a chance of recognising and ignoring. Some typical AV messages:

You've had a long day, you deserve a reward.
You don't really have much of a problem, lots of people are worse than you.
You can just have one or two like a normal person.
And so on...what did it say to you last night that convinced you to drink again? What were the circumstances (triggers)?

zjw

i went through a phase where I googled everything I put into my body. anything i ate i wanted to see what it was good for. Eating became very utility rather then enjoyable. Same with drinking water avoiding caffine etc... but it helped me know that hey if i eat certain things I'm going to feel better in certain ways because of xyz. having a better understanding of all that really helped. it helped me to focus on doing what is good for my body. Eventually it became less utility more habit and more enjoyable again only I was making better choices then I once did.

Sometimes when we dont feel like making the right choice is the time we need to make the right choice the most.

seahorse661

I made a chart of daily tasks - really simple stuff - laundry, cooking a good meal, time spent chatting with my daughter, helping with homework, meditating, doing a solid 8 hours work, etc. I felt really stupid doing it because these are things that people should do without a list, but I sat in bed every night and ticked off how many I achieved each day. Initially I seldom got everything done, but I improved and I guess that a written record of my progress helped my confidence.

As time went on that developed into more of a daily inventory of my thoughts and behaviour and so I still spend that time going through my "achievements' each night. But I had to start REALLY simple.

barefootjunker

Wow, so many organized people, charts, lists, schedules... None of you would last 30 seconds in my life. lmao I make a shopping list and leave it on the table when I leave to shop.

Pride is a dangerous emotion to an alcoholic, we feel good about our progress, well by god i must reward myself! Were drunks, a drink is a natural reward, we then rationalize the drink, then the next morning in a hung over haze realize our reward just set us back to day one of the prize.

It is good to feel good about your recovery, and if it takes a list to get it done, by all means do it. I know i need to not drink today, no matter how good or bad I feel. I get praised daily by some that come into contact with me for staying sober, and yes pride sneaks in. But know if I drink, all that good feeling will be gone, I will feel the failure again, will start thinking I am hopeless, the guilt will eat me. I will be sitting in my apartment alone with my dog wondering why I continue. I will feel all those things that helped me along to crossing lines that I would never have crossed sober.

The solution is simple, very simple. Don't pick up the first drink, call your sponsor, go to a meeting, get out of yourself and help another. Anything but pick up that drink.

GratefulChris

You have to let go of pride its one of the most dangerous emotions for an alcoholic. Being prideful of not drinking makes you think you have power over the drinking, you have control. Don't count days simple its not a suggestion I have ever heard just go one day at a time, one hour at a time if that helps. Your husband means well so maybe see if he will go to Al Anon or the two of you can go so you both learn some things.

waynetheking

Lastchance, dont worry about how many days sobriety u will have. When u decide to quit drinking for good then the days will just take care of themselves. Your memory will improve drastically. Trust me on this one. Don't let this disease dictate your every move in life. When you stop drinking once and for all, the things that seem like a big deal now will become minor. Just stop drinking. Don't worry about tomorrow. Don't drink today. We here for you.

sobermeplease

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. It means a lot and I really appreciate it.

Jsbodhi

Can you program reminders into your phone? So an alarm goes of with a message to eat etc? I do that for chores or errands.
I've been out for dinner almost every night because I'm the type that sits at home alone drinking. So best not to sit at home alone Maybe go to yoga, a meeting, or something like a painting or language class.

Soberpotamus

Good ol' pen & paper Never fails.

I also have a humongous whiteboard & dry-erase markers in my office, and a small whiteboard on my fridge in the kitchen. I keep pens & pads all over the place.

If you have a smartphone, there are apps galore for helping you organize and set reminders.