4 years later and still one day at a time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 24
4 years later and still one day at a time
Hi everyone, I will be 4 years sober on December 10th. Idle hands have got the alcoholic in me stirred up. Although i remind myself I am an alcoholic daily, every once in awhile I get these crazy ideas that I may be different now or have changed and am not who I once was. I know I am an alcoholic and will be for life. That will never change. But these damn thoughts in my head ahhhhhh!!!!!!! I am frustrated at the moment and just needed to tell someone or do something. I still live life one day at a time. My sober buddy asked me the other day, "shouldn't you be able to finally sit back and enjoy life?" I told him I didn't know. I have to stay busy all the time. I am constantly working on some kind of project. When I am idle, bad thoughts arise. In the movie 28 days Sandra Bullock says "what kind of person can't be alone with their own thoughts?" ME! Anyway my question to you all is, Have any of you been able to finally just sit back and enjoy life?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
Oh yeah! It's been three years and I've been totally comfortable with not drinking for a while now. I still think about smoking pot occasionally but that's gotten better as well. To be honest, I still think about drinking one day at a time, starting with giving thanks for not having a hangover every morning. It used to drive me to the brink of insanity but not any more.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
I'm closing in on two years and I haven't thought about alcohol much at all in the last year. Sure I still get the occasional reminder from visual cues at the store, on tv etc. but nothing that runs my mind rampant.
I find that not getting too involved with groups and such has helped me think about it less but many other people here think that a group is necessary. Which way have you been going? Do you do groups or just go it alone?
I find that not getting too involved with groups and such has helped me think about it less but many other people here think that a group is necessary. Which way have you been going? Do you do groups or just go it alone?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Sudz No More 
I'm closing in on two years and I haven't thought about alcohol much at all in the last year. Sure I still get the occasional reminder from visual cues at the store, on tv etc. but nothing that runs my mind rampant.
I find that not getting too involved with groups and such has helped me think about it less but many other people here think that a group is necessary. Which way have you been going? Do you do groups or just go it alone?
I find that not getting too involved with groups and such has helped me think about it less but many other people here think that a group is necessary. Which way have you been going? Do you do groups or just go it alone?
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 66
18 months, and I hardly ever think about alcohol. My life is full, but not so full that I don't have time for quiet moments. AA -- especially Steps 7 and 9 -- have helped me develop an entirely new attitude, outlook, and demeanor.
Four years is quite an accomplishment! I am truly sorry that it has not been more enjoyable. Perhaps some more work??
Jwalker
Four years is quite an accomplishment! I am truly sorry that it has not been more enjoyable. Perhaps some more work??
Jwalker
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
no wonder you're spent!
4 years of being as busy as possible in order not to think of something sounds pretty hellish.
yes, i can sit back and enjoy. not always nd not constantly, of course, life can throw stuff at me or others, but...yeah, i can be with myself not-busy.
in a way it sounds like you're doing an escape-trick, only now using busyness instead of drinking....
you have 24 posts in one-and-a-half years...are you basically doing this all by yourself?
getting connected with and engaging with other alcoholics has been a mainstay for me and esp. useful in learning how to discern the lies in the crazy thoughts.
i'm not afraid of them; they're thoughts, they come and they go and don't mean i have to DO anything.
if you look around here, you'll find quite a few threads talking about how different people deal with the thoughts they don't like. maybe check them out, or start a new thread with that topic if that's where you might be interested in getting input on....
4 years of being as busy as possible in order not to think of something sounds pretty hellish.
yes, i can sit back and enjoy. not always nd not constantly, of course, life can throw stuff at me or others, but...yeah, i can be with myself not-busy.
in a way it sounds like you're doing an escape-trick, only now using busyness instead of drinking....
you have 24 posts in one-and-a-half years...are you basically doing this all by yourself?
getting connected with and engaging with other alcoholics has been a mainstay for me and esp. useful in learning how to discern the lies in the crazy thoughts.
i'm not afraid of them; they're thoughts, they come and they go and don't mean i have to DO anything.
if you look around here, you'll find quite a few threads talking about how different people deal with the thoughts they don't like. maybe check them out, or start a new thread with that topic if that's where you might be interested in getting input on....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
One of the reasons why I appreciate this site is that it is a place for me to check in on a daily basis. I don't always post a new thread or a reply but I always check in and read what is going on with other people. It helps me put my life in perspective as well as gives me ideas on ways to improve my sober journey. I also had to learn to be alone with myself and my thoughts...it took time and I did it in little chunks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by spent31
Hi everyone, I will be 4 years sober on December 10th. Idle hands have got the alcoholic in me stirred up. Although i remind myself I am an alcoholic daily, every once in awhile I get these crazy ideas that I may be different now or have changed and am not who I once was. I know I am an alcoholic and will be for life. That will never change. But these damn thoughts in my head ahhhhhh!!!!!!! I am frustrated at the moment and just needed to tell someone or do something. I still live life one day at a time. My sober buddy asked me the other day, "shouldn't you be able to finally sit back and enjoy life?" I told him I didn't know. I have to stay busy all the time. I am constantly working on some kind of project. When I am idle, bad thoughts arise. In the movie 28 days Sandra Bullock says "what kind of person can't be alone with their own thoughts?" ME! Anyway my question to you all is, Have any of you been able to finally just sit back and enjoy life?
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
Thats a tough way to live. Have you ever tried visualizing your thoughts? Here is what I did to calm my mind:
I imagined myself in a clean room. Bright lights, white walls, white floor. Each of my thoughts is a block. About a cubic foot in size. I would bend down, pick one up and examining it all over. Asking myself questions about the thought. What is this thought? Why am I having it? Should I be? Can I do anything about it? And so on. I would give myself 10 minutes to deal with it. After that I had two choices. I could put the box away because it was taken care of or I put it back down to revisit later. At which time I had to do something else for a while. Read a book, watch tv, whatever. But, what I couldnt do was continue with the thought. I did this exercise over and over until it became a habit. Obsessional thinking can be changed.
I imagined myself in a clean room. Bright lights, white walls, white floor. Each of my thoughts is a block. About a cubic foot in size. I would bend down, pick one up and examining it all over. Asking myself questions about the thought. What is this thought? Why am I having it? Should I be? Can I do anything about it? And so on. I would give myself 10 minutes to deal with it. After that I had two choices. I could put the box away because it was taken care of or I put it back down to revisit later. At which time I had to do something else for a while. Read a book, watch tv, whatever. But, what I couldnt do was continue with the thought. I did this exercise over and over until it became a habit. Obsessional thinking can be changed.
happy, joyous an free!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: northeast
Posts: 693
hi spent - good going on no booze for the upcoming 4 year mark! sounds like it's been tough though.....
i spent the first few years of my sober life doing it alone and i was miserable and made everyone around me miserable. but i didn't drink and i'm soooo grateful for that.
i finally got into a 12 step program, initially CR then on to AA, and my life really began to change. you see i had taken care of the alcohol part now i needed to take care of the 'ism' part. alcoholism is a physical, mental and spiritual disease and i needed to address the whole package. i can't imagine accomplishing this alone. whether it's meetings, SR, readings - whatever tools we use ultimately come from outside ourselves which equals = not alone!
i recently heard 12 step recovery defined as Peer Support Rehab. if left to my own devises the squirrels in my head just spin faster and faster and i know i would pick up again. whereas sharing and caring with others who know the struggle..... well, i know joy today and yes i thrive on alone time!
BTW, today is my 17th anniversary sober. and i am joyous, happy and free one day at a time with a large circle of support! it can be done - sober and happy! (and it is still one day at a time but most days without a struggle.)
best of luck to you. i think it's great you are identifying that although you are sober you want something more and right before your anniversary too. don't go it alone, that's the hard way.....
i spent the first few years of my sober life doing it alone and i was miserable and made everyone around me miserable. but i didn't drink and i'm soooo grateful for that.
i finally got into a 12 step program, initially CR then on to AA, and my life really began to change. you see i had taken care of the alcohol part now i needed to take care of the 'ism' part. alcoholism is a physical, mental and spiritual disease and i needed to address the whole package. i can't imagine accomplishing this alone. whether it's meetings, SR, readings - whatever tools we use ultimately come from outside ourselves which equals = not alone!
i recently heard 12 step recovery defined as Peer Support Rehab. if left to my own devises the squirrels in my head just spin faster and faster and i know i would pick up again. whereas sharing and caring with others who know the struggle..... well, i know joy today and yes i thrive on alone time!
BTW, today is my 17th anniversary sober. and i am joyous, happy and free one day at a time with a large circle of support! it can be done - sober and happy! (and it is still one day at a time but most days without a struggle.)
best of luck to you. i think it's great you are identifying that although you are sober you want something more and right before your anniversary too. don't go it alone, that's the hard way.....
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey spent31-
For me, I do still battle things a bit and it's been 15 months for me. It's not that I don't enjoy life, however it sometimes feels that perhaps not quite as much as when I drank. I guess it's the social stuff that I miss, which is more prevalent during different times of the year.
However, I do still feel much better then when I was drinking in most areas. I don't have to deal with all of the stuff that comes with being a heavy drinker. IE: Shakes, fatigued, etc.. So, I do feel better off, although not in every single way, but that can change with more time.
Congrats on the four years. That's a huge feat indeed!
Lusher
**Side note: Congrats to Lovenjoy for the 17 years!!! In a word, "wow." I can't even imagine myself at that stage (yet).
Have any of you been able to finally just sit back and enjoy life?
However, I do still feel much better then when I was drinking in most areas. I don't have to deal with all of the stuff that comes with being a heavy drinker. IE: Shakes, fatigued, etc.. So, I do feel better off, although not in every single way, but that can change with more time.
Congrats on the four years. That's a huge feat indeed!
Lusher
**Side note: Congrats to Lovenjoy for the 17 years!!! In a word, "wow." I can't even imagine myself at that stage (yet).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Just like when I wake up each morning
to start a new sober day, I turn the lights
on, drink my coffee, connect to SR, share
my ESH here with others, brush my teeth,
dress, eat, watch tv, tend to my gardens,
and so on, so do I live and breath recovery.
From day one I learned a recovery program
taught to me for my alcohol addiction and
illness, consisting of steps and principles
to incorporate in my everyday affairs as a
guideline to help me remain sober day in
and day out.
Many of my days consisted of going to
at least one meeting a day listening,
learning, absorbing, applying and eventually
passing on many helpful suggestions and
tools to the newcomer to give them hope
that living a recovery program can grant
us happy, healthy, honest lives to enjoy
for years to come.
That is where I am today. Thank you AA
and my HP from Above.
to start a new sober day, I turn the lights
on, drink my coffee, connect to SR, share
my ESH here with others, brush my teeth,
dress, eat, watch tv, tend to my gardens,
and so on, so do I live and breath recovery.
From day one I learned a recovery program
taught to me for my alcohol addiction and
illness, consisting of steps and principles
to incorporate in my everyday affairs as a
guideline to help me remain sober day in
and day out.
Many of my days consisted of going to
at least one meeting a day listening,
learning, absorbing, applying and eventually
passing on many helpful suggestions and
tools to the newcomer to give them hope
that living a recovery program can grant
us happy, healthy, honest lives to enjoy
for years to come.
That is where I am today. Thank you AA
and my HP from Above.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Sit back and enjoy life? Absolutely. It started when I realized I could decide to not drink again, no matter what, and never change my mind. It hit a high point soon after when I did just that. What an incredible feeling of relief knowing that those days of misery were over and done with for good.
Sober since August 2011, and things get better all the time.
Sober since August 2011, and things get better all the time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I think MIRecovery says it best.
AA is both a program of recovery and a lifestyle for me.
The 11th step instructs me to try to learn and do God's will all day long.
That's what I (generally) try to do.
It's simple, but not always easy (like picking cotton, I am told).
AA is both a program of recovery and a lifestyle for me.
The 11th step instructs me to try to learn and do God's will all day long.
That's what I (generally) try to do.
It's simple, but not always easy (like picking cotton, I am told).
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
I'm at 2.5 years in a few weeks. I do the same thing. Sometimes I think I could drink now... but it usually always passes. This weekend at a friends house we were making an early thanksgiving meal, having a good time, and a story came up about one time when we were out before I quit drinking. They were laughing about all the dumn things I was doing (including vomiting several times) and I had absolutley no recollection. I was mortified. It was tough, but exaclty the reminder I needed. Now i'm promptly back in my place knowing that drinking and I just can't jive.
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