Notices

Went to bar with friends

Old 11-14-2014, 03:42 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 58
Went to bar with friends

I've been going out to the bar twice a week to shoot darts, I shoot on a league on Monday nights, and a friend of mine on the team, we go out every Thursday to practice, and I have been drinking only soda, and water and I definitely have a way better time hanging out. I've even taken my friend home because he drank too much, it felt good to be the DD, and go home and spend the rest of the evening with my wife and 2 month old son instead of being drunk, puking, and passing out, leaving my wife to take care of our son by herself. I'm going strong on 3 weeks sober right now, and I'm enjoying every minute of it.
DeanChev is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 03:44 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Chillly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Denver
Posts: 244
Holy smokes.. I can't even imagine going to the bar right now without getting drunk..
Chillly is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 03:52 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
RIP Sweet Suki
 
suki44883's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,726
I'm glad you haven't drank alcohol, but please be careful. Don't get complacent.

Maybe you've heard the phrase...You go to the barbershop often enough, eventually you're going to get a haircut.
suki44883 is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 03:55 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Well done on 3 weeks Dean
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 04:01 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
Congrats on three weeks sober and keep your guard up.
least is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 04:16 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Living Sober
 
Lusher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey DeanChev- Way to stay strong! Also, congrats on the three weeks.

The bar thing seems like it could get bit tempting, especially if the newness of 'going sober' begins to wean. It sounds like you had it under control, but I do wish you well if you make it a habit of going back there.

I can appreciate the dart league, and I am aware that they are usually played in bars. But as a person who threw his fair share of darts around my town (always in bars and with beer) I just know that might be some very risky stuff. At least for me it would.

~Stay strong~


Lusher
Lusher is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 04:34 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 58
I am the worst dart thrower when I'm drinking so for me to even think about drinking when I go is a bad idea not only for my sobriety but for my game lol I've gone long periods sober before, 3 or 4 months at a time. I've also noticed that staying sober when I'm at the bar shooting, I'm more aware of my surroundings, I've had drunk people do stupid **** near me, and I was sober and got away before I got in the middle of such things. I know how blessed I am and I intend fully on staying sober whether I go out to bars or not. I actually feel extremely good driving home knowing I didn't drink and still have some of the evening left to enjoy.
DeanChev is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 05:03 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
sb1969's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Clarkesville, Ga.
Posts: 40
Congrats on 3 weeks. Stay strong.
sb1969 is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 05:16 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Congrats on 3 weeks. I have 12 days today and will be going to my sister in law's 30th birthday party tomorrow with lots of drinking. Similar to you, I am confident I will get through it.
Soberintexas007 is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 07:41 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 55
That's cool! Now you have to find a sobriety forum to stop drinking soda! haha

Good job though. When I used to go out to bars there was usually someone there not drinking playing pool or darts or something.
buyingisbad is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 07:47 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,046
I am the worst dart thrower when I'm drinking so for me to even think about drinking when I go is a bad idea not only for my sobriety but for my game lol
I knew a musician once who would never drink before a gig for the same reasons, then one night he had one to limbre up, that went well so he started having two to also conquer nerves....

You know where I'm going with this.
That muso was me.

It's your life Dean but you've had a lot of trouble getting and staying sober and I have to admit this makes me nervous man.

Keep your recovery as a priority ok? Prove to me I'm wrong if you like

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 11-14-2014, 08:17 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
EndGame
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
I'm also not too keen on going to bars or other venues where drinking is featured. Doesn't matter if it's framed as a "test," a show of strength in terms of sobriety, or just part of an occasional routine. Everyone who's done what you did in early sobriety, Dean, feels great about it the first time. But followup visits are never the same. I'd rather have a colonoscopy than sit around with people who are drinking.
EndGameNYC is offline  
Old 11-15-2014, 07:35 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Please remember that even thou you are confident and intend on staying sober that alcohol doesn't care about that. It's patient and waiting for that weak moment.
tomsteve is offline  
Old 11-15-2014, 07:43 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 58
Thanks everyone for your concerns, I understand that going to bars is risky. I've never wanted to stay sober more in my life, I have too many amazing things to enjoy without alcohol in my life, and I know I can do this. I don't go out as a show of strength, I like to get out of the house sometimes, and just hang out with some buddies, and I know drinking is NOT an option for me.
DeanChev is offline  
Old 11-15-2014, 08:13 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
as a sober contributor
 
Hope4Life's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Congratulations on your 3 weeks sober DeanChev! It sounds like you have a lot to live sober for.

How long did you drink? From your post's, it sounds as though you have slipped before.... at least once. I have to say that, IMHO, 3 or 4 months of sobriety is NOT a long period of time. For me that is a mere second of my drinking time!

PLEASE consider your wife and child and put them 2nd and 3rd... RIGHT AFTER YOUR SOBRIETY!. They need a sober husband and dad.

Now here is the big question... you mention wanting to spend time with your buddies. Are they 'drinking buddies' or TRUE FRIENDS?

Would you give them the key's to your house if you needed to get out of town? If the answer is yes, great. If the answer is no, I would encourage you to put your sobriety first and spend your time with TRUE FRIENDS.

This was the most important change I made in my life to ensure that I stayed sober. When I walked away from my local pub, not 1 of those 'drinking buddies' called or came by to see how I was doing. We had been hanging out for over 10 years! REALITY!

3 weeks is a FANTASTIC start, so just keep stringing those days together and soon you will have a month, then a year and then 2... and so on.

Good Luck!
Hope4Life is offline  
Old 11-15-2014, 08:40 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Alcohol has a lifetime to wait for our one moment of weakness.
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 11-15-2014, 09:04 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hawk07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 524
It sounds like you are doing great with 3 weeks sobriety. But I agree with others, do be careful. For myself hanging out in a bar would be leaving the door wide open for a relapse especially so early on in sobriety (I'm at about 3 weeks too)
Hawk07 is offline  
Old 11-15-2014, 09:08 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Sober date 5/1/13
 
Treerat66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 3,547
Congratulations DeanChev.

Treerat66 is offline  
Old 11-15-2014, 04:38 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
When I started drinking again after 10 years, it wasn't because I went to a bar.
I was at home.

Since I quit for the final time (almost 8 years ago), I've been frequently been to bars and house parties and other places/situations where alcohol is flowing freely. For me, it has never, ever been an issue, even right after I quit. I know my opinion is not popular, but it's my experience so that's why I share it.

I am SO relieved to be out of the hell of being addicted. I love living life with no thought toward alcohol. I knew I was done when I was done, so it matters not where I go. I'm not a drinker, so it's never even a question. There will never be a reason for me to drink again. Ever.

I refuse to live in fear of places/people/situations somehow causing me to drink. I fought to get my freedom from addiction, so I'm not just going to hand it over to fear.
soberlicious is offline  
Old 11-15-2014, 05:37 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
EndGame
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by soberlicious View Post
Since I quit for the final time (almost 8 years ago), I've been frequently been to bars and house parties and other places/situations where alcohol is flowing freely. For me, it has never, ever been an issue, even right after I quit. I know my opinion is not popular, but it's my experience so that's why I share it.
I don't know that your opinion is unpopular. And so what if it is? It also seems that it's your experience rather than an opinion.

The OP has been sober for three weeks. Though you may have successfully remained sober despite being around alcohol from the very beginning of your sobriety (and I don't know your timeline with this), I don't imagine that you'd agree that doing so early on is a good strategy for everyone.
EndGameNYC is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:30 PM.