439trish

quit posting a year ago because I just couldn't get any more than a couple of weeks sober and I just got tired of trying, tired of disappointing myself. and felt embarrassed when I had to say once again that I drank.

I wish I knew why this was so hard to do, stay sober. I think facing the fact that I am alcoholic just continues to make me feel ashamed and embarrassed. It makes me feel envious of normal people.

but I am trying to look at things in a different way if I can.

I do feel very glad to have SR and I thank you all for your support and sharing.

I want to make a fresh start with a fresh approach to sobriety

Dee74

Welcome back 439Trish

Have you given any thought to things you might do differently this time - more support, more changes in your life - to help?

D

sb1969

I have started anew today myself. Hoping we both can make it.

least

Welcome back! I hope you are successful this time. Never give up!

439trish

really good for you SB, and we can trudge this road together


you know Dee I am trying to figure out what I can do different, I have tried AA in the past and I may try it again, although I didn't like it all that much before. I do need more support.

I am committed to making posts here in the alcoholism forum and being honest with myself as best I can

last drink November 12, 2014

dox

When you tried AA in the past, did you get a sponsor and try working through the steps?

Did you read the book called Living Sober?

That book helped me to get started when I couldn't understand the Big Book.

My mind was still quite fuzzy; even a couple of months after putting down my last drink.

Hevyn

Good to have you back with us Trish. You sound ready.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, 439Trish. Rooting for you!!!

439trish

I did have a sponsor, worked the steps, read living sober too. maybe I need to reread it. thank you

tomsteve

I'm glad ya made it back. One thing that bothers me a wee bit when people want to get sober or are coming back from a road trip is reading about "trying." it seems that those that just "try" something to get sober don't do very well. Those that. "do" seem to get and stay sober.

mapp

Wishing you the best! Right there with you today.

439trish

I hear you TomSteve. You may be onto something.

I AM going to stay sober feels very strange to say. I just don't have that much security I guess.

But I am here and in about 3 hours I will have one day without a drink.....that makes me feel good. Babysteps

buyingisbad

As long as you don't have withdrawls that are dangerous just stop drinking.

I was walking through a health store and told this girl who worked there there that as much as i come in here you'd think I'd be really healthy! But I drink too much I told her. She said, "oh that's easy to fix.. just stop drinking. "

The way she said it was so innocent and so so very true. Some people go into that store and shop for herbs and vitamins and food to cure body ailments. But my ailment is I pour beer down my throat. Diagnosis? Stop pouring beer down throat < ---

So hopefully this helps you as it does for me. The cure is simple; Stop drinking alcohol.

It really is that black and white IF you don't have to be in the care of a doctor. I know some people have binge drank so long it could be dangerous when stopping.

439trish

buyingisbad, she is right of course...it is what makes this thing so crazy...continuing behavior that is causing me harm over the long run...

buyingisbad

My friend who is female used to tell me I was my own worst enemy and I was pushing the people away that loved me. It was true and I knew it. So I decided to stop on that path and take the good days with the bad days sober. That's what you have to do for your own sake.

It took me a long time to decide to stop again and i think you are there too. Make it happen as they say.

Wake up and no drinks and take the day as it is given. And the next and next and so forth.

Soon enough your life will change for the better.

Soberella66

Your heading is exactly what I am telling myself today. Hang in there 439trish, glad you're here.

439trish

buyingisbad,

yes, I can relate to being my own worst enemy. I have overcome much of that in my life, but not with alcohol. I will work to maintain my sobriety and allow myself to see what good will come of it, LIKE STAYING ALIVE....and other good things.

does anyone really understand alcoholism?

and thank you for sharing.

pooky

I could have written your original post . I'm in the same boat.Been trying for a few years.Still trying.
I know it's possible for us both

439trish

Pooky,


we can do it, we can walk away from alcohol

the price of getting drunk is death for an alcoholic, it is a matter of time

I don't want to hurt myself anymore

malcolmsloan

I totally relate to just getting sick of the routine. For me, I had to leave 'I hope I can' behind and get a little pissed- f-that, I'm NOT f-ing drinking, period, no question, no doubt. It took some work, but wham I started from a place of absolute, emphatic refusal, things like books and methods started working.
onward!