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Old 11-10-2014, 08:28 AM
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Need advice

OK, I have a confession to make - I'm a highly functioning alcoholic, but it has been two days since I last had a drink. I have been drinking 500ml (18 fluid ounces) almost every night for just over three years, so before I go into what I am experiencing in withdrawal and my worries about what could still hit me, I will tell the back story.

I'm a journalist by trade - 10 years in the game. In 2011 I moved to Ukraine due to journalism being a shrinking industry and I thought there may be some opportunities here - with the current situation between Ukraine/Russia it seems I was right. But as I sat beside my boss last Friday lightly sweating under my clothes and smelling this foul chemical smell on my skin - I felt like a complete failure - disgusted with myself. Last week was heavier than usual after being dumped and by Friday I had a visible shake in my hands, no amount of eye drops could conceal the redness of my eyes etc, etc.

So going back, I don't know exactly when it started, but I was in good health up until maybe a year ago as we went into winter. My hangovers would manifest in irritability, slowly they evolved into a mellow "don't give a f*ck" kind of attitude. Then the physical symptoms (beyond red eyes and always overheating started). First it was getting up in the morning and gagging and have to force myself not to (that has always become a habit by the way - if I think about it I do). Then came incredible joint pain, sometimes in one foot and it was painful to walk, sometimes elsewhere, and that brought with a really strange feeling of being unsteady on my feet. The palms of my hands and soles of my feet were constantly sticky/greasy feeling (they still are today). Nightsweats (rarely) but it did happen. The worst was my skin, I suddenly developed psoriasis on my arms, legs, back and the backs of my hands (more on that later) and that became an excuse to drink more because it keeps you awake. Second worse was intense pain in my right ribs - a couple of times that has been so bad every step was agony. I would go all day without having to urinate and when I did the smell was like a chemical factory.

Here's where I thought, and probably still do think, that I am so clever. I found remedies for most of these symptoms. Cortisteroid creams for my skin. A litre of water before work and then numerous glasses of water at work and I could urinate maybe at 1.30/2pm to go before 12 is a small victory. After bingeing all weekend the water policy meant by maybe Wednesday the rib pain was gone and gagging was easing. Using the cream like a moisturiser (sh*t just writing this I feel crazy) made your skin go very pale but could clear up these ugly red blotches in a couple of days.

This is a novel - I apologise and continue...

Anyway I am sure many of you will be aware this country went through a revolution, overthrow of a president, Russian invasion and annexation of Crimea and now Russian seperatism (war) and the downing of Flight MH17 in the east. I was already at the point where before I went to anything social I was pre-drinking as it took away any lingering symptoms - for example my red-eyes instantly cleared and I did not feel like a zombie. Due to the above events - I had the opportunity to branch out from being a print/internet journalist to TV and radio for networks around the world.

I was absolutely hammered for 90% of them, but obviously performed OK because they kept coming back for more. Also because of the TV thing I became aware the only time I looked OK was after a few shots, otherwise it was droopy eyelids etc. I don't think my girlfriend of up until two weeks ago noticed I was merrily drunk every evening. It felt like alcohol coloured me in, I was fun, more confident - professionally and privately.

The TV/radio work dried up for me in August, I don't even know if suddenly someone noticed. The skin rashes spread to my face and scalp. Of course I used the creams but they make you look like a corpse or an extra from Twilight for a day...

Anyway that brings me to the present - last week I went completely off the rails for the first time - I was meeting with friends to keep my mind off the break-up so that pushed my drinking times back. Vomiting - something I never do, sleeping until mid-afternoon on the Monday and oversleeping my alarm later in the week.

Friday night I went cold turkey. I was up all night completely wired and felt absolutely fine (I think drink enough vodka and it is like being asleep anyway) but I looked like sh*t. So to get my game face on to meet a friend that Saturday night what did I do? I bought vodka - but only two thirds of my regular amount. So despite having a few shots before meeting him, two beers with him and the rest when I got home NO SLEEP. I have not slept for close to 40 hours. Even as I write this I feel absolutely fine.

Here's where I need advice and a possible intervention.

What am I in for assuming I can resist it tonight - I'm terrified by what I read. I will put up a profile pic later but I'm a skinny guy with an almost superhero ability to drink. Based on what I read I could die, yet despite greasy hands and feet, an incredibly itchy face, I feel OK.

Also I read about tapering down being safer, but vodka is on every street corner here, I know if I buy any I will simply drink it.

I need your help, there's no support here. Do I fight through the night, or do I try tapering down with beer or something? Either way I am absolutely wired so don't expect sleep.

Bottom line is I don't want to have a seizure or worse in an apartment alone...

PLEASE HELP ME!
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Old 11-10-2014, 08:37 AM
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J,
sounds like your best bet is medical attention.
a clinic, a doc, an emergency department.
go get checked out and ask your questions and if they decide, based on what you honestly tell them, that you need supervised detox, then you'll be in the right place.

that's probably not something you want to do, but do it anyway

best to you and welcome to SR.
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Old 11-10-2014, 08:42 AM
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Thank you.

Well based on everything I read, the quantity I drink is code red. But as I say I feel fine. Second problem my Russian is not good enough to explain fully...
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Old 11-10-2014, 08:49 AM
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Surely you know someone who has the language skills to help you at the hospital? If not, you can wing it with hand motions, like point to where it hurts. If you are at a hospital, they will treat the symptoms medically regardless of the words you use. I'm sure there is someone at any hospital who can translate. They check vitals and treat accordingly, just like with any patient.

I think if you make it past three days you've passed the worst of it. It takes 72 hours to go through the dangerous part of withdrawal. Why don't you have a friend come sit with you/spend the night for two days?

I was drinking a lot at the end and I tapered a bit, my withdrawal was unpleasant but that is the only word I can use honestly. Of course that said, I was probably just lucky.
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Old 11-10-2014, 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Journalist View Post
Thank you.

Well based on everything I read, the quantity I drink is code red. But as I say I feel fine. Second problem my Russian is not good enough to explain fully...
going by how you feel is probably not the best idea right now.
glad you're feeling okay, but worrisome that you do, yes? contradictory, i know.

most people in Europe know english well enough

and most medical ER personnel have experience enough with where you're at to figure it out without exact full translation. the basics will do.
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Old 11-10-2014, 08:58 AM
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Biminiblue,

Yes I have friend about two blocks from where I live, he always has wine if I needed a glass or two to bring things under control, it's not that I feel bad at all, in fact I feel better than I did on the vodka despite the lack of sleep. My skin is like I've slathered myself in cooking oil though. The lack of sleep meant I spent the last two nights reading this forum, seems I have had every possible symptom except the very worse. Except I forgot to mention the blackouts.
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Old 11-10-2014, 09:02 AM
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Fini,

Yes, in all honesty I left for work today wondering if I would suddenly deteriorate. But the physical symptoms are the same as if I drank last night, minus the fogginess and gagging
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Old 11-10-2014, 09:02 AM
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Welcome, Journalist, to SR.

I would also suggest a medically supervised detox. As for the language issue, the hospital may have a translator; if not, someone (maybe even you) may have a translation app on a computer, ipad or smartphone.

Really glad you found SR. It is 24/7/365; there is always someone here who cares and wants to see you succeed.
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Old 11-10-2014, 09:24 AM
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Despite the language barrier, Journalist, I've no doubt that medical personnel in the Ukraine have any difficulty in diagnosing and treating alcohol withdrawal. All you need to do, really, is mention the word 'vodka', and they'll know what they're looking for.

Sleep deprivation produces an adrenaline response which, in turn, results in feelings of euphoria or well-being. Even people who are clinically depressed report an elevation of mood following sleepless periods.

Get yourself to the ER.
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Old 11-10-2014, 09:38 AM
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SoberLeigh, Endgame,

I can explain the basics, but these are all terms you don't use everyday. So EndGame, I'm being lulled into a false sense of security? Oddly enough after wallowing in self pity over the breakup I am feeling quite good. OK I will go, but I don't expect I will have wifi in an underfunded ex-Soviet hospital. I've been to one after breaking my face (alcohol-related of course) it was feral.
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Old 11-10-2014, 09:43 AM
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You can go to googletranslate.com, type up a description of your medical status/situation/alcohol history and ask the app to translate your input into Russian. You could print it out and take it with you to the SR.

Let us know how everything goes.

Rooting for you.
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Old 11-10-2014, 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Journalist View Post
So EndGame, I'm being lulled into a false sense of security?
No. Just an artificial sense of euphoria. Doesn't mean you're going to be morbidly depressed, but what you describe is a typically transient state that often follows loss or trauma, signaling that reality is about to settle in. And the adrenaline rush following sleep deprivation is real.
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Old 11-10-2014, 09:56 AM
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Insomnia is a sure sign of withdrawal. With your nervous system suppressed by alcohol so long, it excites and fires off when the alcohol is removed. I would often be up for 4 days straight without a wink after a binge of a week or longer.

A more serious sign is shakiness in the hands and profuse sweating. That was always my sign to get a drink in me before the hallucinations began when I was drinking every day.

Monitor your symptoms and make a plan if things got worse.
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Old 11-10-2014, 11:01 AM
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Hi there I'm really interested reading your story, sounds to me you have lots of common anxieties related to withdrawal, I too had the worry of seizures and being alone and shamefully in charge of my children I was literally terrified! I went cold turkey but the withdrawal was so horrendous I needed medical intervention which involved going on a drip to receive thiamine and b12 and then had a carbodioxepide (think it's spelt differently) but it was to take the withdrawal symptoms away and to prevent seizure (a benzo basically) I also got in touch with the drug and alcohol specialist team the next day. It's different for you (I'm in the uk) I'm not sure what services are available but I would deffo recommend seeing a doctor! Alcohol withdrawal is awful as well as the night sweats, the chemical smelling sweat and urine, I had crippling stomach and chest pains which needed to be looked at! Don't chance it see someone today :-) good luck, remember you can post on here any time of day if you are feeling horrid and need to chat or have your anxieties aired .... :-)
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Old 11-10-2014, 11:18 AM
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Sapphire,

I'm waiting to be seen, still feeling fine, I look like death. Usually at this time I'd be half a bottle down three shots in a row to get rid of the effects of yesterday's bottle, eat if I could be bothered, watch something online (you can get everything here, copyright is a foreign concept) remember some of it, taking breaks to take half a shot, if I passed out, especially if it was until the morning I was always thrilled to discover there was a shot left in the bottle, other times it had little effect and I would go buy and start a second bottle. And other times I would cook properly, like when my now ex (I assume this is permanent) was here. Sneak off to another room for a swig from the (hidden) bottle and return to the kitchen, wash the dishes, back for another swig, fold laundry and talk to her. It always seemed if I had something to override the effects I could, in those cases it was no different to having a bottle of wine over dinner to "normal" drinkers. In my case the wine we drank together masked the vodka. Yet I could do it if I focused.
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Old 11-10-2014, 12:20 PM
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Sapphire, my post count isn't high enough, but still waiting...
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Old 11-10-2014, 12:24 PM
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Journalist, I lived in Russia for awhile.... visited Ukraine several times. I am praying for you and wishing you the best!
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Old 11-10-2014, 12:57 PM
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Wishing you the best Journalist - welcome to SR

D
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Old 11-10-2014, 02:31 PM
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Update, still no analysis or treatment. But 48 hours now and I still feel better than I do usually - with the exception being when I'm actually drinking.
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Old 11-10-2014, 02:33 PM
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Are you still waiting to be seen, Journalist?
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