Deckard

In answer to the question at the top of the post, I'm not sure there needs to be some grand existential explanation. If I were jump out of an airplane, I wouldn't be surprised to find myself falling. Similarly, alcohol is an addictive drug; it is entirely predictable that a consequence of ingesting alcohol is potentially becoming addicted. Why it happens to some and not others... who knows? I guess the key question, to me, is not how it happened but what to do about it.

gaffo

I think I just drank too much because I'm an alcoholic but that society comes up with all kinds of justifications for it. It's very handy to have all those rituals and advertising at you fingertips!

Aellyce

Addiction. Simple as that. My life was absolutely not terrible before I turned it pretty unbearable with my drinking.

hopeful4

I will never ever forget sitting in counseling with my X husband and hearing him say that sometimes he drinks just because he is bored. I mean in my eyes this has caused so much trouble and hardship to myself and my children and for him to just drink b/c he is bored? It just floored me.

Needless to say, that was the most honest he has ever been about it. We are now divorced because I just could not deal with the constant issues me and my family were dealing with as a result of his drinking.

AlexThedude

For me, in retrospect, it was more or less just being an addict, and not understanding where the negative symptoms were coming from, then escaping from them into what caused them in the first place.

Also, I typically drank in order to forget.

phoebe64

I do not have a terrible life. In fact, I am quite blessed. Drinking for me is an indulgence in excess. Like food could be, and still sometimes. An addictive nature, I guess. I can easily overdo anything I put in my mouth, like sweets, a yummy meal, and wine. I like(d) the euphoria of alcohol.

Eventually, I did not enjoy the obesity, the diabetes, the poor health, hangovers, and I changed. I have changed a lot in my life, but still struggle with alcohol.

mudfall

At first I drank to be brave.
Then I drank to bond with friends.
Then I drank to ease anxiety.
Then I drank to temporarily escape the reality that I was severely abused as a child.

The crisis that I face now is that my hatred for injustice is so strong and my tolerance for alcohol is so high that I will destroy myself if I drink.

I can't hide from that truth anymore, I have to face it.

That's why I'm here.

That's why I'm off the sauce.

I need to find a healthy way to cope.

luvmygirls

I think I started because I was self-medicating lifelong feelings of anxiety and possibly depression. My mother did the same; both she and my father are alcoholics. I think my maternal grandfather was, too. I'm not sure about my brother, but the tendencies seem to be there. I believe that I was an alcoholic from my first sip. Biology and family examples are strong.

NewMe11109

Why? I believe that I have both a genetic predisposition that makes alcohol affect me differently than normies AND I did not have the tools as an active alcoholic to live a sober life. I can't change genetics, but through AA and SR, I have learned and acquired many of the tools that I now use every day to live a happier more balanced life. I am sober because I work at it each day and maintain my program of recovery. Now with over 5 years, it isn't that hard or require a lot of time each day, but I can't get complacent. One day at a time is really important.

Katie88

When I was 19 I told the first person I dated that I drank to "feel my emotions." And she said, "wait, you mean you drink like that to escape your emotions?" My response was that I really did only feel my true emotions when I had been drinking a lot. It sounds counterintuitive, really. I think because of the way I was brought up, drinking alcohol was the only way i could feel my emotions. I was taught to stifle my feelings because they showed weakness. When I drank, i lost that mentality and let my emotions out. The things i stifled when sober found their way out when i was drunk and it was a tremendous relief. Also, i am a very sensitive person and drinking alcohol numbed that a little bit over the years. It was nice.

My life wasn't terrible, but it was a lonely existence for me growing up and that manifested in alcoholism for me as a young adult.

Rndz7

This drinking thing is a curse. It gives me energy, at the time, and then takes back double. Now add in any expense including problems with Health, Finances and relationships. Bam....a total cancer that I cannot get rid of. So I manage it day by day. One day at a time. Be careful, Trust in God, be a nice person. Your human.