Rough day
Justme
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Ojai,Ca
Posts: 44
Rough day
Stayed home this weekend, was feeling positive because a few times got tempted to go out. But it felt great to wake up with a clear head and no regrets. However, just sat here thinking of all the stupid things I've done and start to feel I wasted so much time being a sloppy drunk on my binge drinking moments that it's hard to forgive myself and not feel ashamed of those embarrassing moments. Trying to stay positive!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
one thing I had to learn was I can't go back and re-do my past...so thinking about it is futile in that respect.
I can learn the lessons from my past tho and use them to make me the best me and today the best day it can be.
Moving forward and rebuilding my life, making something of it, helped me get over the wreckage of my past
It's not and instant process - it takes time - but do try and focus on the now not the then. You'll get somewhere I promise
D
I can learn the lessons from my past tho and use them to make me the best me and today the best day it can be.
Moving forward and rebuilding my life, making something of it, helped me get over the wreckage of my past
It's not and instant process - it takes time - but do try and focus on the now not the then. You'll get somewhere I promise
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 269
thinking about what you missed in the past is one of the paths back to drinking.
I've found it so much more productive to start thinking about happy times or things that are beautiful, a sunset, fall leaves, a beautiful woman. Staying positive and in the present will train your brain to be happy.
When I started I would wake up every day and just be happy I was alive despite the condition of the rest of my life. My list grows everyday and it is easier and easier to put myself in a positive mood.
It works, you just have to stick with it and honestly be grateful for every little breath of life.
I've found it so much more productive to start thinking about happy times or things that are beautiful, a sunset, fall leaves, a beautiful woman. Staying positive and in the present will train your brain to be happy.
When I started I would wake up every day and just be happy I was alive despite the condition of the rest of my life. My list grows everyday and it is easier and easier to put myself in a positive mood.
It works, you just have to stick with it and honestly be grateful for every little breath of life.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Among other things, there were two huge items I carried into sobriety which could have dragged me back to drinking. One was the disgusting and shameful memories of the things I did while drunk. The many times I betrayed my own values. The other was the people I hurt who I now could not face. I lived in fear of an unplanned meeting, a hand on my shoulder.
These things visited me every night when I tried to sleep. It didn't matter how good I was that day, the skeletons in the closet haunted me every night. That's not sobriety, it was a living hell. I came to see it was a crazy idea to think that I could just forget all this stuff, just push it into the back ground like it never happened, pretend that as I was suffering from a disease it wasn't my fault and there is nothing I can do about it. I knew an attitude like that would take me back to drinking.
There is no question in my mind that I had to face the past and do my best to straighten it out. Pay my debts, make my amends. The very thought scared the hell out of me, but it saved my life, and allowed me to rejoin the human race. Free at last.
These things visited me every night when I tried to sleep. It didn't matter how good I was that day, the skeletons in the closet haunted me every night. That's not sobriety, it was a living hell. I came to see it was a crazy idea to think that I could just forget all this stuff, just push it into the back ground like it never happened, pretend that as I was suffering from a disease it wasn't my fault and there is nothing I can do about it. I knew an attitude like that would take me back to drinking.
There is no question in my mind that I had to face the past and do my best to straighten it out. Pay my debts, make my amends. The very thought scared the hell out of me, but it saved my life, and allowed me to rejoin the human race. Free at last.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by justme 
Stayed home this weekend, was feeling positive because a few times got tempted to go out. But it felt great to wake up with a clear head and no regrets. However, just sat here thinking of all the stupid things I've done and start to feel I wasted so much time being a sloppy drunk on my binge drinking moments that it's hard to forgive myself and not feel ashamed of those embarrassing moments. Trying to stay positive!!!
how positive you are now
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by justme
Stayed home this weekend, was feeling positive because a few times got tempted to go out. But it felt great to wake up with a clear head and no regrets. However, just sat here thinking of all the stupid things I've done and start to feel I wasted so much time being a sloppy drunk on my binge drinking moments that it's hard to forgive myself and not feel ashamed of those embarrassing moments. Trying to stay positive!!!
Congrats on a sober weekend!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
If I was to have a drink hoping it would solve every stupid thing I did when I was drinking I would never be sober.
We all did horrible things, acted like fools, puked in the wrong place, slept in the wrong beds, fell off many bar stools and yelled at the wrong people. There are many things we have done but can’t remember because of black outs.
It is the past and there is nothing we can do right now, drinking included, to change it. Drinking will not make it better and it has the possibility to make it worse because we can add a new embarrassing drunk episode to our list. Don’t make the list longer.
Get to a meeting or do some type of recovery work. Get active and get out of your head. It is dangerous in there!
We all did horrible things, acted like fools, puked in the wrong place, slept in the wrong beds, fell off many bar stools and yelled at the wrong people. There are many things we have done but can’t remember because of black outs.
It is the past and there is nothing we can do right now, drinking included, to change it. Drinking will not make it better and it has the possibility to make it worse because we can add a new embarrassing drunk episode to our list. Don’t make the list longer.
Get to a meeting or do some type of recovery work. Get active and get out of your head. It is dangerous in there!
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