Soberintexas007

After another hour, I will be at 8 days. The longer I stay sober, the more clarity I have about how good it is that I am doing this. And the longer I stay sober, the easier it will be to stay sober because I will have time under my belt.

I am aware that my off days will be the most difficult for me, as that is when my husband is off, and when he drinks the most. This Saturday we will be going to his sister's 30th birthday bash. I am going to try and stay strong on that day. In addition, I am going to be open with his family about how I recently relapsed but am now working on staying sober again and will hopefully have 13 days by that day. I will also let them know that I am going to AA so that they know I am serious about this. By being open about my sobriety, I feel that his family can be more understanding of what I am going through, and why I may therefore want to leave the party a bit early before everyone gets really wasted.

But, until then, I want to enjoy my Day 8. My husband is being really nice to me right now. He just has anger issues when things do not go his way, but I know that he really loves me, as he tells me this all of the time. People on the Al-Anon boards tell me that I never deserve to take verbal abuse, but I feel I can handle his anger at times. I am also a very sensitive person, and so sometimes I just need to brush it off or just walk away, or maybe leave the house to let him cool down. He has never laid a hand on me, nor do I think he ever will.

I remember our relationship was a lot better when I had time sober. So I think that the longer I stay sober and work on myself with AA and the steps, this will have a positive effect on our relationship.

Dee74

Congrats on day 8 justbreathe

Now's a good time to make a plan for those off days and the weekend. Think about all the likely scenarios and temptations. Work out what your responses might be...

and, in the end, if it seems too much to handle right now, could you not go to the party this weekend?

D

Soberintexas007

I would rather not go the party. But my husband still drinks and really wants to go (he likes family functions). And we do everything together. I am confident I will get through it.

Dee74

There are some good social occasion tips for forward planning here - useful for Thanksgiving too

D

stephendu

Way to go.

Soberintexas007

Where are those tips?

Dee74

Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

multitasking fail

D

darcal

Congratulations on your 8th day of being sober. Being an honest the best thing to do. Keep it up.

OklaBH

I knew you could do it!

FeelingGreat

Over a week is great JustBreathe. You could stay away from the party (explaining why to the birthday girl), and draw a line with your husband by doing what's best for you. He doesn't seem very supportive, and I get the feeling you're a bit afraid of him? Sorry if that's off-beam. Is there a dynamic in your relationship where avoiding his temper makes you give in even when you don't want to do something?
If you do go, my advice is to eat beforehand and get a large glass of your fave non-alcoholic drink into your hand as soon as you arrive. I take no chances and bring my own.

MiniBK

Nice work Justbreathe1980 - Just take each day at a time. Treat yourself for getting through each event like the one you are mentioning. Also as you have already discovered, it gets easier with time. But never forget the early few days and how hard it was to get to were you are now, you don't want to go through all the again do you!

Soberintexas007

Thank you for the post. There is a bit of a dynamic in our relationship in which I sometimes do give in to things just to avoid his temper. I know that he really likes family functions, and I don't think he could handle us not going, and he likes to do things with me (which is sweet). I feel confident that I can get through the party, and I usually do bring my own drinks. I will be open with his family about my new sobriety, and I will also talk to my husband beforehand about leaving at a decent time (he also has to work the next day). I think it's hard for my husband to by fully supportive of my sobriety because he is an active functioning alcoholic, and I know firsthand what that feels like (which is probably why I let him off the hook often). But I have been opening up to him more often about my struggles with alcohol. He told me in bed last night that he is proud of me when I brought up the subject, so that was nice. He was just so used to me slipping that I think he did not take my sobriety seriously anymore.

Soberintexas007

I think that is the key. Remembering how difficult it was for me in the past couple of months to get through the first couple and few days, those were the hardest. I honestly did not think I was going to be able to do this for awhile, and that was a scary feeling. But I have made it through the hardest part and don't want to go back.

least

Congrats on the first of many sober weeks!

gettingbetter64

8 days is awesome, congrats!