What AA means
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 182
What AA means
So I went to AA for the third time in as many months. Only reason I went was to get out of the house and have a place to nurse a hangover.
I didn't like AA. It seemed weird and boring. I just couldn't relate to anything about it. Talk of twelve steps and higher powers etc. just not for me.
But today was different. I realised you don't have to work the steps if you don't want to. You don't have to believe in a higher power if you don't want to. I'm sure dedicated AA folk will say you're destined to fail if you don't.
But what I realised today was it's a place where people who are like minded can go and share their stories, share what's happening in their lives. Listen to and support each other. I heard some really thought provoking things today. And they will help me in my recovery.
There's still the underlying things about AA that I don't like. I'm not sure when or even if I will go again. But I do know there is a place I can go for help and inspiration.
And being agnostic what one old guy said was really interesting. He's worked the steps and been sober a long time. He's devoutly religious, but he keeps his religion separate from AA. For him its a spiritual thing.
I didn't like AA. It seemed weird and boring. I just couldn't relate to anything about it. Talk of twelve steps and higher powers etc. just not for me.
But today was different. I realised you don't have to work the steps if you don't want to. You don't have to believe in a higher power if you don't want to. I'm sure dedicated AA folk will say you're destined to fail if you don't.
But what I realised today was it's a place where people who are like minded can go and share their stories, share what's happening in their lives. Listen to and support each other. I heard some really thought provoking things today. And they will help me in my recovery.
There's still the underlying things about AA that I don't like. I'm not sure when or even if I will go again. But I do know there is a place I can go for help and inspiration.
And being agnostic what one old guy said was really interesting. He's worked the steps and been sober a long time. He's devoutly religious, but he keeps his religion separate from AA. For him its a spiritual thing.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by CaptainWhip 
But what I realised today was it's a place where people who are like minded can go and share their stories, share what's happening in their lives. Listen to and support each other.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
I would encourage you to go to some meetings when you are not hungover. Focus on the similarities in folks stories and not the differences. Replace the word God with anything you'd like.... group conscience, creator or door knob if that is what works for you.
AA is not a religious program, it is a spiritual one. Admit to yourself that you have a problem and you will be on your way. True, no one will force you to do anything, so you can take what you can use and leave the rest.
IMHO, if you will listen to what you are told to do and do it, you will be much better off.
Good Luck!
AA is not a religious program, it is a spiritual one. Admit to yourself that you have a problem and you will be on your way. True, no one will force you to do anything, so you can take what you can use and leave the rest.
IMHO, if you will listen to what you are told to do and do it, you will be much better off.
Good Luck!
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Thanks for sharing your experience CW. In a manor of speaking, AA's a very large tent. People think differently about allot of things in AA. There are really no absolute necessities, except for one. A desire to stop drinking.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Myself and many other people on here got sober through AA.
I don't work any where near a great program. What has worked for me might not work for you. I do believe given a chance, AA will help you stay sober.
I don't work any where near a great program. What has worked for me might not work for you. I do believe given a chance, AA will help you stay sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 182
The various things that people talked about and the courage to talk about them was eye opening. I felt if these guys can talk about their problems, most of which were bigger than mine, then why am I keeping it all bottled up?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I heard your sorts of issues addressed at the last meeting i went to actually and the guy explained it well. I'll try to convey the message he did though I doutb i'll do it like he did.
with our higher power and such. I'm sure we have all met or heard fo the religious types who where hypocrits or screwed up or cheate don there spouse or wtvr. and we think Aaa yeah so much for that nonsense. Everyone of those higher power types has been a sham its just not for me etc... It doesnt change the fact that there is some truth to there message.
You may not like this or like that about AA for whatever your reasons are. But it doesnt change the fact that AA is there for what its there for. You cant allow the things you dislike to drown out the truth of the message that is really there at AA.
I think your right however. I'm not certain you have to work the steps per say. But I think in time you'll see regardless of weather you work there steps or not part of recovery is working on yourself following whatever steps you need to follow to do that in order to stay sober. Dont like there steps? thats fine but being sober is more then just not drinking.
I'm not a die harder I go now and then. For me its good for me for what it is. I think i'd like to get more involved but i have my reasons why I cant at this time.
But its there for you if you need it.
with our higher power and such. I'm sure we have all met or heard fo the religious types who where hypocrits or screwed up or cheate don there spouse or wtvr. and we think Aaa yeah so much for that nonsense. Everyone of those higher power types has been a sham its just not for me etc... It doesnt change the fact that there is some truth to there message.
You may not like this or like that about AA for whatever your reasons are. But it doesnt change the fact that AA is there for what its there for. You cant allow the things you dislike to drown out the truth of the message that is really there at AA.
I think your right however. I'm not certain you have to work the steps per say. But I think in time you'll see regardless of weather you work there steps or not part of recovery is working on yourself following whatever steps you need to follow to do that in order to stay sober. Dont like there steps? thats fine but being sober is more then just not drinking.
I'm not a die harder I go now and then. For me its good for me for what it is. I think i'd like to get more involved but i have my reasons why I cant at this time.
But its there for you if you need it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 158
Originally Posted by CaptainWhip
... I realised you don't have to work the steps if you don't want to. You don't have to believe in a higher power if you don't want to. I'm sure dedicated AA folk will say you're destined to fail if you don't.
Take what you need from AA. It was designed to be all suggestive. There were sound reasons for that.
If you want to be sober, I wish you luck, CW.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 99
Agree to take what's useful and leave the rest. Having said that though, I have seen many people come to AA, think they can pick and choose the parts of the program that seem easy and skip the parts that are hard or they don't want to do for whatever reason. And then they relapse and point to their relapse as evidence that "AA doesn't work."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
“Agree to take what's useful and leave the rest.”
I know this expression is used a lot and for me it’s misinformation.
Pray tell how does a person who usually doesn’t know what they don’t know make a healthy decision that can be lifesaving. So many of us getting sick and tired of being sick and tired are undisciplined, untruthful along with inflated egos that say I’ll do it my way and choose the softest easiest way.
That’s not working the program that starts with step one and was written by an expert and when they are followed create a recovery second to no other, IMO
BE WELL
“Agree to take what's useful and leave the rest.”
I know this expression is used a lot and for me it’s misinformation.
Pray tell how does a person who usually doesn’t know what they don’t know make a healthy decision that can be lifesaving. So many of us getting sick and tired of being sick and tired are undisciplined, untruthful along with inflated egos that say I’ll do it my way and choose the softest easiest way.
That’s not working the program that starts with step one and was written by an expert and when they are followed create a recovery second to no other, IMO
BE WELL
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Good to hear it turned around for you.
My personal experience was that "just go to meetings and just don't drink " or "take what you want and leave the rest"
Worked Ok for about a year, but it didn't last.
All that kind of advice turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Nice, fluffy, cuddly and easy and soft...... Then I got eaten alive by the emotions of untreated alcoholism.
If I could have my time again I'd get straight into the program with a sponsor.
My personal experience was that "just go to meetings and just don't drink " or "take what you want and leave the rest"
Worked Ok for about a year, but it didn't last.
All that kind of advice turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Nice, fluffy, cuddly and easy and soft...... Then I got eaten alive by the emotions of untreated alcoholism.
If I could have my time again I'd get straight into the program with a sponsor.
Ba**ysMama
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 91
You summed up my thoughts exactly, CW-
AA is all in whatever YOU take out of it- I was told in a meeting just recently, ''take what you like and leave the rest'', and I think that's a wise approach to AA in general- I attend meetings each evening, yet I don't feel the need to get a ''sponsor'' or ''work'' the steps in a particular way- And to me, the only tragic thing, would be for someone to feel as if they couldn't attend for solely the fellowship , or made to feel unwelcome, simply because they chose to incorporate it as only a part of their recovery, and not the entirety :-)
God Bless and keep going back..it does work.. (pardon the play on words..),but never ever feel pressured to do anything any one person's way!!
AA is all in whatever YOU take out of it- I was told in a meeting just recently, ''take what you like and leave the rest'', and I think that's a wise approach to AA in general- I attend meetings each evening, yet I don't feel the need to get a ''sponsor'' or ''work'' the steps in a particular way- And to me, the only tragic thing, would be for someone to feel as if they couldn't attend for solely the fellowship , or made to feel unwelcome, simply because they chose to incorporate it as only a part of their recovery, and not the entirety :-)
God Bless and keep going back..it does work.. (pardon the play on words..),but never ever feel pressured to do anything any one person's way!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by BarrysMama
You summed up my thoughts exactly, CW-
AA is all in whatever YOU take out of it- I was told in a meeting just recently, ''take what you like and leave the rest'', and I think that's a wise approach to AA in general- I attend meetings each evening, yet I don't feel the need to get a ''sponsor'' or ''work'' the steps in a particular way- And to me, the only tragic thing, would be for someone to feel as if they couldn't attend for solely the fellowship , or made to feel unwelcome, simply because they chose to incorporate it as only a part of their recovery, and not the entirety :-)
God Bless and keep going back..it does work.. (pardon the play on words..),but never ever feel pressured to do anything any one person's way!!
AA is all in whatever YOU take out of it- I was told in a meeting just recently, ''take what you like and leave the rest'', and I think that's a wise approach to AA in general- I attend meetings each evening, yet I don't feel the need to get a ''sponsor'' or ''work'' the steps in a particular way- And to me, the only tragic thing, would be for someone to feel as if they couldn't attend for solely the fellowship , or made to feel unwelcome, simply because they chose to incorporate it as only a part of their recovery, and not the entirety :-)
God Bless and keep going back..it does work.. (pardon the play on words..),but never ever feel pressured to do anything any one person's way!!
There's an intergroup meeting tonight where I live and the person who answers the local AA hotline apparently is going to be voted out.
It seems he's been advising those calling in for help against attending certain meetings which he doesn't consider "real" AA.
(I usually avoid the petty in-fighting/drama I find in AA but tonight I will go because one of the meetings on this guy's blacklist is the Sat. night meeting I often attend. This whole mess is quite weird.)
paradox
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 665
I don't know you, so I'll not give advice.
I can only relate my experience.
I attended AA meetings and procrastinated on taking the steps.
Now that I have been through them with a sponsor, I feel a change . . .
A change sufficient to recover from alcoholism.
Now I have no reason to drink.
I do not have to struggle with my alcoholism.
I do not keep anything bottled up.
At first I was afraid of doing the 12 steps.
Now, I am grateful for the suggestion that the steps are the way forward.
I do not intend to go back.
And I don't have to.
I am glad you are getting some inspiration from AA.
Have you read the Big Book?
The stories of recovery at the back might inspire you as well.
Take care.
I can only relate my experience.
I attended AA meetings and procrastinated on taking the steps.
Now that I have been through them with a sponsor, I feel a change . . .
A change sufficient to recover from alcoholism.
Now I have no reason to drink.
I do not have to struggle with my alcoholism.
I do not keep anything bottled up.
At first I was afraid of doing the 12 steps.
Now, I am grateful for the suggestion that the steps are the way forward.
I do not intend to go back.
And I don't have to.
I am glad you are getting some inspiration from AA.
Have you read the Big Book?
The stories of recovery at the back might inspire you as well.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I realised you don't have to work the steps if you don't want to. You don't have to believe in a higher power if you don't want to. I'm sure dedicated AA folk will say you're destined to fail if you don't.
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