fini

Jennie,
my pooch is a shep/Lab mix with some kind of hound thrown in. nose to the ground and strong prey drive.
I walk on the trails; she walks on and off. or runs.
she gets tired, i get soothed.

so we're both good.

but of course i had to put a bunch of work into it the first few months so that now she's fine off-leash, which brought the sooth-quotient for me up several notches.

Soberpotamus

Katie is good off leash, but Lucy is still young and stubborn. Her accident has made her afraid of cars now and for that I am so thankful. She learned a valuable lesson. Maybe one day I can let them roam free.

Soberpotamus

Cow, where are you? How is it going with the new therapist?

Cow

Oh hello, I guess I feel need to take little break from SR. I think is maybe too confusing for me to have therapist, who already confuse me, then post about therapy and get different inputs about therapy, and then I even more confuse. So, in conclusion, I been very confuse. And I think is time to stop with getting inputs and come to own decision on course of treatment and then to ask for support for that decision.

I hope I say that in way that not offend, cuz I really does appreciates everything everyone ever say to me. And I for sure will be hitting you up for advices and inputs again about all manner of things and such, but it maybe not good to work intensive with therapist and then come to message board to get all my homeys opinion of her counsel. I either going to work with her and trust her or not, yes?

Having say that, I miss you chuckleheads, so perhaps for little while we can just speak of other things, of shoe, and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. Of why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs has wings.
to all from Cow.

Dee74

Glad you popped in so I can wish you a Happy Thanksgiving Cow
D

courage2

Some pigs, certainly. You can tell if you've seen the kind of pig that has wings if it's flying, and vice versa. On the ground, they're hard to spot.

Gilmer

Happy Thanksgiving, Cow.

Gilmer

I think I can speak for the group in saying that we're very thankful for you, Cow!

Moo mwah!

anattaboy

Happy everyday Cow!

Cow

And I thankful for you all ...well, you know, as thankful as stone cold anhedonic can be. But I does know, here at SR, my cornucopia runneth over. And hope I also able to give to you from my horn of plenty. Okay, this starting to sound a bit fresh, what I means is you like little family to me now, and that mean something, okay? Moo Mwah

silentrun

Awesome Cow!!!! That is all you have to do. Do SOMETHING don't just lay there and let it take you down. If you decide to trust your therapist (which I agree with) you can still come here and have some fun with us. I am going to prepare a rebuttal for your LC poem later...on to Turkey for now.
Yay Cow!!!!

RobbyRobot

(((Cow)))

No worries here, friend. Great to hear you're owning yourself throughout your therapy adventure. I believe in you.

Soberpotamus

Happy Thanksgiving, Cow

fini

well, Cow,
my kids (grown-ups) gave me one of those mobiley-thingies with three pigs who all have twirly tail-feathers.
so there we go.
semi-flying pigs.
i climbed out of my second-floor window onto the roof of my kitchen below (always an adventure) and hung them from under the eave, where they keep flying and twirling and stopping the birds from being fooled into not seeing the window pane because it reflects a tree and flying right into it...
bird lives saved by flying pigs.

enough already!

Cow

Thanksgiving actual one of worst holiday for me due to the anhedonia. I go to friend house who like Martha Stewart on steroid. She gourmet cook, she make little gift for everybody, amazing decoration, very cool and interesting peoples. I total lucky to be on her invite list. BUT whereas everybody else there total enjoying and basking with eye full of wonderment and they all engage and laughing, I there (and I grateful to be there), but I total performing my engagement. I really feel dead and detach inside. And it just total put that disparity, that crevace between real me and fake me right in my face in big way. Is painful and depressing. Someday I hope to really be fake me.

She call me yesterday to confirm time, and make point to say, "I so happy you coming, you so hilarious, it just make everybody have good time." Is nice compliment, but I like, Jesus God, now I really has to "get it up" for this. I has to perform on top of already performing! No pressures! I try to think of it as 'gift' I can offer in return for gift she giving me. I can do that, but it hard, you know, everytime is situation like that, is like it take little piece of me.

PS. Please, you not possible think you making it out of heartwarming holiday without a dose of Downer Cow wallowment, does you?

Soberpotamus

Cow, I hate the holidays and feel completely down, so you aren't alone.

Leshar

Dear Cow, I know how you feel. I feel so dead and detached.
I would so love to be able to engage with humanity and not have to perform. It's so sad. I feel very lonely. I do understand.
I do hope you manage to eke out some enjoyment at your friend's party.

Cow

SJ, why you hate holidays?

Leshar, maybe we can be lonely together, I mean, inside our vacant selfs, alone, at same time, which is as close as we probable can get to "together." Deal? I will no find enjoyment this evening. But as soul killing and tormenting as it may be, maybe I find intellectual satisfaction if I can give dinner party a "good show" and make them laugh and know I help them has fun time, which make hostess feel good also. Is best I can do. Then tomorrow, I can cry and feels sorry for self and wonder if ever I get to be one of THEM.

Soberpotamus

Well, dysfunctional family and the sad memories, maybe? Mom's dead, grandmom's dead... that just leaves the a%$holes. Lol

And... turns out my husband has a witch of a mom, and a complete idiot for a sister.

Soberpotamus

But I am a good wife... I told him it was ok to leave today and go visit with them.