Problems coming back from treatment.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 6
Problems coming back from treatment.
Hey I'm milesdeep. I'm 23 and I'm nearly 5 months sober as of this post. I just went away for four months to live in a recovery house. I took sick leave from work and returned to the same job. My landlord held my room and I moved back in redoing my first and last. It wasn't the first time I went to treatment, but hopefully the last. I've been in and out of recovery for the last 3 years.
I've never been in this situation before where I've been able to go back to the same place and pick up where I left off. Before my last treatments I always had nothing to go back to and changed location and jobs. Now I'm in a place where everyone knows what's up at my home, and I know that tabs are being kept on me at work.
The other night I came home after spending the whole day out at an amusement park with a couple co-workers and my face was flushed red from being out in the cold. My landlord immediately approached me "are you drunk?". I don't know if I'm comfortable with being grilled on my sobriety as soon as I come through the door because he thinks I look off for some reason. I understand his reasoning but still. I've always been a good tenant.
I found out that someone at work is now renting a room from a landlady in the area that I used to rent from. I was completely screwed up most of the time I was living in her house and it ended REALLY badly.. I used to sleepwalk a lot after drinking or just be blacked out and I'd get up from my stupor to go urinate in some corner or on myself. This has happened many times over the years, I've been woken up standing with my dick in my hand pissing somewhere to hear "what the hell are you doing?" or thrown out of places. I had regular night terrors where I'd scream and swear and thrash for hours after drinking and doing drugs. Once I woke myself up by drinking from a bottle of bleach. I've puked many times.
A year ago I blacked out and urinated on my old landlady’s 16 year old daughter in her bed. She and her friend were both there and saw it all. It was a horrible mess, I had no idea what I was doing and I had a hell of a time dealing with the police. I wasn't charged with anything but I had to leave the next day. I pulled a lot of crap while I was living there because I was constantly drunk and using hard drugs, they got to know me and my history. I was suicidal once living there because I was severely alcoholic and had started smoking crack which I said I was, and went to get help only to come back and OD on alcohol and the valium I was given for withdrawal. I quit everything for a bit just to start again and escalate the drinking again to the point that this incident happened with the daughter. I don't know what to do about this.
Now a coworker lives there and he knows that I used to live there too. We were talking a bit about the place today but I don't know how much he knows. I'm not comfortable with him living so close to the damage because it could compromise my confidentiality around work completely. Only upper management and a few select people know my situation. I know he has to know something and since I just went on sick leave for 4 months it wouldn't be hard to put two and two together that it had something to do with my addiction and god knows what stories could come out of it. There's at least a few people around this city who think I'm a pretty effed up person.
I've never been in this situation before where I've been able to go back to the same place and pick up where I left off. Before my last treatments I always had nothing to go back to and changed location and jobs. Now I'm in a place where everyone knows what's up at my home, and I know that tabs are being kept on me at work.
The other night I came home after spending the whole day out at an amusement park with a couple co-workers and my face was flushed red from being out in the cold. My landlord immediately approached me "are you drunk?". I don't know if I'm comfortable with being grilled on my sobriety as soon as I come through the door because he thinks I look off for some reason. I understand his reasoning but still. I've always been a good tenant.
I found out that someone at work is now renting a room from a landlady in the area that I used to rent from. I was completely screwed up most of the time I was living in her house and it ended REALLY badly.. I used to sleepwalk a lot after drinking or just be blacked out and I'd get up from my stupor to go urinate in some corner or on myself. This has happened many times over the years, I've been woken up standing with my dick in my hand pissing somewhere to hear "what the hell are you doing?" or thrown out of places. I had regular night terrors where I'd scream and swear and thrash for hours after drinking and doing drugs. Once I woke myself up by drinking from a bottle of bleach. I've puked many times.
A year ago I blacked out and urinated on my old landlady’s 16 year old daughter in her bed. She and her friend were both there and saw it all. It was a horrible mess, I had no idea what I was doing and I had a hell of a time dealing with the police. I wasn't charged with anything but I had to leave the next day. I pulled a lot of crap while I was living there because I was constantly drunk and using hard drugs, they got to know me and my history. I was suicidal once living there because I was severely alcoholic and had started smoking crack which I said I was, and went to get help only to come back and OD on alcohol and the valium I was given for withdrawal. I quit everything for a bit just to start again and escalate the drinking again to the point that this incident happened with the daughter. I don't know what to do about this.
Now a coworker lives there and he knows that I used to live there too. We were talking a bit about the place today but I don't know how much he knows. I'm not comfortable with him living so close to the damage because it could compromise my confidentiality around work completely. Only upper management and a few select people know my situation. I know he has to know something and since I just went on sick leave for 4 months it wouldn't be hard to put two and two together that it had something to do with my addiction and god knows what stories could come out of it. There's at least a few people around this city who think I'm a pretty effed up person.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 109
It's tough not being "that guy" and now being "this guy" - but you can do it. Time heals many things. Trust me (and many here) I know.
You will be fine, just put one sober foot in front of the other, day after day, and you can repair the damage. In time, you will possible be seen as one of the most honorable, upstanding people around.
You will be fine, just put one sober foot in front of the other, day after day, and you can repair the damage. In time, you will possible be seen as one of the most honorable, upstanding people around.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
There's at least a few people around this city who think I'm a pretty effed up person
Are you participating in any recovery groups right now? Given your situation, it might be a good idea to be around other people who have also done a lot of screwed stuff while drinking and drugging, but are now sober.
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