Mountainmanbob

I have felt like doing that many times.
Problem is that it usually doesn't work that way.
They first need a desire and must be willing.

MM

DoubleDragons

I think the further one is into their addiction, the more obtuse they are about their drinking. My mother has admitted to having an alcohol problem to me, she has admitted it is killing her, but in the next breath she wants to tell me a fun "bar" story. The other night we were all in a restaurant and just after she and my father had ordered wine, my dad started feeling very ill and had to leave. He is elderly and so, of course, we were concerned that it could be something serious (it was just the flu, TG!). Anyway, my alcoholic mother disappeared looking for a waitress to get her a cup so she could put her wine and my dad's wine in a cup to take with her, all the while, my dad is outside feeling sick and needing to leave. Of course, the restaurant would not allow this. I just sat there watching this fiasco with my jaw dropped, but I remember my crazy denial, too. Interestingly, I remember almost every instance of someone handing me water, asking me to eat, telling me that they were we worried about me, connecting my stomach ulcers with my drinking before I did, not opening another bottle of wine when it was obvious that I wanted to open one, and while I remember these instances and they were tucked in my subconscious, I did not quit until something came over me (Spiritual?!?, intuitive?!?), that it was time for me to quit. So, I think these ways people tried to help me, were helpful, but my sobriety came when I was ready on my own timing. This is a long way of saying, if in good conscious, you feel that you must say something to your friend, then do it, but do not be emotionally attached to the outcome.

BackToSquareOne

I have known people who drank until the day they died. I have also talked to some who said the only time they were happy was when they were drinking. This raises the question of whether or not you can change anothers thinking or must the change come from within?

In my case the pain had to so greatly outweigh any pleasure left in drinking but it took about 3 decades to get to that point. Many will not live long enough to reach that point and some have a very high tolerance for pain. I honestly don't know if it's possible to instill the desire to quit in someone that really doesn't want to.