stevee

I know I'm an alcoholic. I barely get through each day before I hit the bottle. Vodka...The last stop for the chronic alcohlic (( I am a very high achieving alcoholic at work...which makes it difficult to quit. I fear I suffer from ulcers or Pancreatitas? Pain throughout the day I've dumped gallons of liquor into the toilet in an effort to gain control. Always......tomorrow....what a pipe dream! Best nights of sleep I've ever had are nights when I have witheld..

Ultramarathoner

You are at the right place- thanks for joining! I sent you a private message.

SoberLeigh

Welcome, Stevee, to SR; this is great place for support, encouragement and understanding.

Probably best to see your doctor about your fears about possible ulcers and pancreatitis.

Keep posting; SR is 24/7, 365; there is always someone here who cares and wants to see you succeed.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Stevee

It's never too late to stop...the best time to do that is today - before you lose that keeping your head barely above water 'functioning' ability we all have initially, and all lose, eventually.

D

oak

Welcome Stevee! There is a lot of support here.

I've also felt lots of shame around addiction. The shame lessens when you are sober. I'm proud to be sober.

You could talk to your doctor about the pain and about help with quitting. I only recently talked to my HMO about getting help; I tried doing it without my insurance knowing anything. I don't know what is best for someone else.

There may also be self-help groups near you. I found this link very helpful when I first got here.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

Ornithology

Hey stevee, stick around and keep posting. You'll find lots of support and caring people here.

PurpleKnight

That "high achieving" is going to be short lived though if you carry on, for me I was on a downward spiral, I never had any issues at work, but I could see that the train was going to crash in the distant future if I didn't get off.

Check in with a Dr and get the proper treatment that you need, kick the drinking and turn a corner once and for all!!

You can do this!!

least

Welcome to the family. I used to be ashamed of who I was. I had no hope of a decent life for me, thought I'd just drink myself to death.

But I got lots of support right here, along with counseling sessions, and finally stopped drinking for good. You can too. What kind of support do you have? Have you ever considered going to AA? It's helped a lot of people live sober productive lives. It's worth a try, don't you think?

I hope you find the support your need to stop drinking for good.

ESD907

as dumb as it sounds....just don't drink today. and after a few days...you realize how much better you feel...LET yourself have the drink tomorrow. I don't know much, cause I"m off and on lately...but I do know..after a few days off..you feel so damn good...

resolute50

Hello and welcome.
There's hope here. I was in your shoes 15 months ago.
Use this site as a tool to help you quit. Join a class on the site, and talk with others that are going through it. It helps to know you're not alone.
Happy healing brother.

OklaBH

Been there many times! Please trust me, it does get better. Read and post. This forum is a lifesaver

Tonymblue

Welcome to the forum. Dont be ashamed. You can quit and be proud again.

MIRecovery

It can be done. At the end I drinking 750+ ml of vodka a day and had done so for many years. Any thing i achieved was before things got so bad and I knew it was only a question of when I got fired not if.

For me it took me withdrawing in my office puking into a waste basket and being rushed to the hospital.

I went to an MD, IOP, and AA. Today I'm still active in AA and leading a very different but very good sober life.

I was terrified to quit but I was even more afraid to continue the way I was. There is a way out with the first step being a commitment to sobriety

fini

stevee,

my efforts to control went desperately on for many years.
i was convinced i had to be able to, so i kept trying. an inability to control what i put in my mouth is irrational, and certainly i wasn't irrational.
right.
all very logical, every time.

it's just that it didn't work. i couldn't MAKE it work.

took me a long time to really get that indeed it is beyond rational and that trying for control just kept me struggling.

when i understood it would never be different, that each attempt at control would end in failure, i could let go of the attempt to control and stop the whole damn struggle.
haven't had a drink since, and no struggle anymore.


this is doable, and there's nothing shameful about struggling, wanting better, reaching out for help. all good stuff.
and lots of support here.
good to see you here.

Hevyn

Stevee - stay with us. I drank 30 yrs. & when I found SR I was instantly calmer. I gained strength by reading other's stories and suggestions. We're all in this together, and we understand what you're going through. Glad you found us.

Wastinglife

When I morphed into a daily vodka drinker, my life really started to take a turn for the worse. I was drinking a fifth every day after work, more on weekends. My performance at work plummeted. I had to sneak off at lunch for a couple pints to stop my hands from shaking. Sometimes I had to get off the subway before my stop to vomit in garbage cans on the platform before getting back on. Complete madness.

The 'vodka stage' for me was the most destructive. Lost the job and just drank all day for a year until I ran out of money. You have to stop this now before you start to lose everything you hold dear. I waited too long and ended up with only a couple suitcases of clothes to my name.

strategery

I'm glad you're here Stevee!

waynetheking

Stay strong stevee, u don't have to keep beating yourself anymore. Take it one day at a time. Welcome to sr

sapphire1981

Steve, you can do this! We are all here together....I suspect that as yourself being highly functioning is making it worse in the sense that you won't get help or seem as poorly as you are but you can do this xx,

stevee

Thanks everyone for the support. I will not drink today. That much I promise myself. It's great to hear of others success and I want to get there too!