glassdark

I figured I would share embarrassing or shameful things I have done while blacked out. I am anonymous, afterall. Share also, if it compels you.

Blacking out started becoming a regular thing for me after about the first year of drinking.

I started a fight with my husband and threw a ceramic cup at him, but luckily missed.

Fell down the stairs and woke up with a swollen eye. It blackened worse over the course of a week.

Passed out outside while smoking a cigarette. I fell foward onto the concrete and skinned/bruised my face so bad that it took weeks to heal. I was picking gravel out of my wounds for a while.

Called my mom and told her personal things that I would NEVER tell her. Also, I called her alot and would argue about stupid things. She eventually learned what time of the night not to answer her phone.

Got online and tried to debate or argue subjects when I had little capacity mentally at that time to, resulting in me sounding like a moron or coming off crazy.

Pissed myself more times than I can count. Horrible.

Cooked up some terribly unhealthy food that 3 people could eat, would eat a portion, then hide it in the microwave. I have found cooked, wasted food so many times after a night of drinking.

Chained smoked so much I felt ill the next day. This was before I started really getting ill and feeling hungover/withdrawals from the alcohol.

Spilled my drink on the computer keyboard and mouse. We have had to replace numerous keyboards and mouses.

Busted my knees up from falling.

Verbally abusive to my husband. Telling him I wanted a divorce. (And no, I didn't and don't want a divorce)

Coldfusion

No thanks.

dsmaxis10

Well I peed my pants to. But one time I lived three blocks away from a bar and couldn't find my way home in the dead of winter a very cold day. The cops found me wondering in the middle of the street I didn't even know my name don't remember the cops giving me a ride home.

Try18

Stuff I've done on blackouts goes from plain stupid to downright terrifying. The main thing that bothers me is the affect its had on my family.

Regularly phoned family talking nonsense and pointlessly elaborate lies. When I still lived around them I would get in terrible verbal arguments with them.
Stole booze from shops
Stole other stuff I had no need or want for
Put myself and others in danger
Ended up in hospital several times
Been picked up by police
Behaved in mad ways and made an utter fool of myself
Made mad and elaborate plans to do things I have no intention of doing sober
Self harm and suicide attempts

Could increase the list. Makes me shudder, but good food for thought on reasons NOT to drink. There are more than I could ever write here!

gippy1968

No good comes from rehashing my drunk stories - I don't get the point.

PurpleKnight

I shared a story last night on a thread, and it was one of the worst memories I have.

I was in Belfast for a weekend once upon a time for an Eric Clapton gig, that night I met some americans in the hotel bar after the gig and they were asking me about the best Irish whiskey to try and of course being the connoisseur alcoholic that I was had all the answers.

I even started buying rounds to try them out, it ended with me ordering shots, but in the space of 2hrs my blood alcohol level shot through the roof and I collapsed outside the hotel and an ambulance had to be called, I awoke in the hospital to a nurse giving me the 3rd degree on my drinking.

I then had to walk into the hotel that morning in the same clothes, and check out the day afterwards!!

Did that stop me drinking? no, I continued with the madness!!

Fishcakes4

my last night of drinking 9 1/2 days ago, I blacked out while driving and hit a parked car. Yep I'm a real effing winner driving drunk, I ruined my very nice black cadillac and thank god I didn't hurt anyone or myself. That was the last night I let alcohol touch my lips forever.

Mountainmanbob

I didn't start having black outs until later on in my drinking days. Oh-man once they started I got into a lot of serious trouble. The stories would be long and redundant.
MM

MsJax

No. No war stories. I lost so much of my life. 3 & 1/2 years sober & thankful to be alive.

MattM316

I think it's good and healthy to hear other people's stories regardless of how bad they are.
Otherwise there is always the danger of people just keeping it all inside and letting it fester. I think it's much better to share things and hear from others who have been in similar if not worse situations.


As for blacking out, I'm not sure if six withdrawal seizures count as blacking out or not :/

Dee74

Everybody pretty much knows my stance on war stories. Without that redeeming recovery bit at the end it's just romancing 'the good old days' IMO.

There's venting and there's revelling tho....there can also be a self-flagellating masochistic element I've seen sometimes that can't be healthy.

I think there's also the danger of doing what I did - listen to others stories and think...hey I'm not that bad....I can push this boat out a little more....

but, hey - I accept blackout stories will always be a part of the community here, whether I or anyone else likes it or not, and my comments are not meant to reflect on posters in this particular thread.

I just hope the sharing for is good reasons, y'know?

D

trachemys

Lord, no thank you! Last year when I quit for the first time, it was suggested that I write down all the events I regretted that were caused by booze. After 47 pages, I gave up the exercise, incomplete. I think it depressed me so badly that I started drinking again.

tomsteve

No,it doesnt compel me to share the disgust of my existence while i was drinking.Too many times that becomes a wee bit of a pride and ego trip to see who can top other, plus as pointed out could lead some to think they aren't bad off enough to stop drinking.

glassdark

That is not why I made this thread at all. I guess some of you are jaded on this forum. I don't see it as a competition of "topping" anyone, romancing drinking, or helping others to feel validated to continue drinking. It is simply an example of what alcohol can make people do. I made the thread to relate to people, so that they feel less alone. Typing it out was a release for me.

trachemys

I'm glad typing it out did you some good.

I had to release my past to move into the present and make a better future.

We all should do whatever it takes.

Dee74

Hi Glassdark

My remarks weren't directed at you specifically.
I did try to make that clear.

I don't think we're jaded, just at a different point, maybe?

I do try to point out possible pitfalls - but I haven't forgotten what it felt like to come here, talk about my life and my addiction and be understood.

I hope you'll feel that too

D

Chrissy2014

Thanks for the post but I will table my "good old times" for a different time. Not helpful to me, hope others find this thread ok.

Sent from my iPad using SoberRecovery

esinger

Don't remember a thing. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

desypete

i will share a story with you

when i was just 16 i ended up getting rotten drunk at a party, i ended up trying to throw myself under cars coming home from the party and some of my mates were trying to get me home

its didnt end there as when i got home i went nuts and started to smash the house up putting the fear of god into my mum
i then put my arm through a glass window at home and it cut me deep into an artery, an ambulance was called and my poor mum was crying hysterically
in her mind she had watch me losing lots of blood and was scared she was going to lose her baby boy

the ambulence guys tried to come to get me into the amubulence and i was still full of rage and frothing at the mouth i wouldnt let them come near me and was swearing at them
in the end they got me in and took me to hospital were i got stitched up i was still being abusive and angry do the hospital sent me home rather than keep me in
when i got home i finaly feel asleep

i woke up the next day full of shame and guilt, i could not believe i had behaved that way i only went out for a party with my mates and to have a good time

i never knew then that it was because when i took that first drink it started that craving off in me that i just had to keep on drinking until i was falling over rotten drunk

when i am in that state well i could do anything as we are insane when we drink to that extent
anyway i had to face my family the next day sober and they all tore into me for putting my poor mum through it all and i was sorry honest i was sorry
but it never stopped me from drinking again and trying everything i could to try to drink like everyone else could
the truth was i never could drink like everyone else as i am an alcoholic if i take one drink then i run the risk of behaving in such a way all the time i drink

that is just one of the many many life experiences i never want to forget, as if i forget it then i am that much closer to thinking drinking wasnt that bad to me
when it was and it always will be for me

thanks for starting this type of thread as for me i need to know i am not the only one at times and its good for new comers who might be feeling full of shame to understand there not on there own either
so well done

Ken33xx

Twice fell down a flight of stairs in a blackout. Both times got stitched up.

Had numerous blackouts but mostly they were a source of embarrassment and nothing like a car crash.

Was picked up for public drunkenness twice but I sort of remember what happened.

Traveled overseas in a blackout and was detained upon my arrival.

Fortunately, I was let into the country.

Interestingly enough I never lost my shoulder bag which I always carried.

I always woke up with it.

Heard I guy once share about winning the silver star after he called in an air strike on his own position. The base camp was being overrun and he was a drunken mess when the attack took place.

Fortunately, the coordinates he called broke up the attack.