Why is my brain telling me to drink?
 

Last Monday night I had two glasses of wine, and that was it. Very unlike me. Usually it's a 6 pack of 8.5% beer, sometimes a shot mixed in between there somewhere. Not sure why I stopped at two glasses of wine.
The entire day on Tuesday, it felt as if I had indigestion. I took two Tums, but it wasn't getting any better. By 5:00pm, the bottom right side of my abdomen was throbbing a dull, achy pain. By midnight, I could hardly stand it, and kept waking up from sleep. I hadn't drank on Tuesday.
I rolled out of bed on Wednesday morning at 7:00. I was in the ER by 8:00, and was having an appendectomy by 3:00 in the afternoon.

Long story short, I haven't drank since Monday of last week, underwent surgery, was prescribed Percocet for the pain, came home on Thursday. We had a very energetic and fun-filled weekend with my boyfriend's two other children, (we have a ten month old who lives here at home with us. His two others live in GA.) He drank, but not much. I didn't touch a drop, and barely thought about it. I had one craving that lasted about thirty seconds.

SO.... Why is it that my brain is saying "drink." I have felt good without it! I am so used to waking up with hangovers, exhausted, lost memories from the night before, etc...
I'm doing well without booze. I am so confused. I feel as if I don't want to drink, but (and this sounds funny,) my brain is telling me to drink! "Even if it's just a couple." Sheesh! I cannot recall (other than the wine last Monday) the last time that I only had "a couple."

your brain is you. Its not a seperate entity. So you want to drink. It's up to you to decide if that's a good idea or not

Why is your brain saying 'Drink'? When at the same time it is saying 'Not Drink'? This being of two minds, this inner conflict, is part of the definition of addiction, I think. If you did not think you should stop, then continuing to drink simply wouldn't be an issue. And we wouldn't find ourselves here on this forum.

Your brain remembers the pure pleasure of that first buzz, and many since, too. That warm, fuzzy, contented feeling is so powerfully attractive that it has imprinted itself on our simplest brain function. Now, we see this urge to drink as a matter of survival - I gotta have a drink now or I don't know what will happen! Of course, for most of us, continuing to drink is a step towards self destruction, not self preservation. We think it's necessary for survival, but it isn't, and never was. It's all about that pleasure.

We have learned to pass on urges for immediate gratification in favour of greater rewards ever since we were two years old, and this is a chance to extend that learning. Appreciate that you can decide to quit drinking and do it, and nothing bad will happen. To the contrary, all that is good may happen, but only if you are sober. If you keep drinking, everything bad is in store for you.

You can choose, Linz, you can choose to quit. If you are like me, your shoulders will drop and you will stand taller than you have for a long time. You will like that person who looks at you from the mirror. Life gets so much less complicated, so much simpler, and so much more satisfying in every way. I recommend it.

iggy24: Too funny! I know it sounds like I'm an idiot. I just feel really pulled. It feels as if my brain is a different entity, because at the same time that I'm telling myself to drink, that it doesn't matter, I'm also perfectly content (or so it seems) NOT drinking...

You're addiction is telling you to drink.
Some call it your AV.

It is best to tell it to go away.
You don't need to give in to it.

Maybe because drinking has become a part of life? It did for me - I had more of a "drinking solution" because alcohol was my "solution" for every part of life.

Just putting down the substance has not been enough. I have had to learn new ways to deal with everything - good and bad.

Also, I believe after 13 years of daily drinking, my brain was pretty used to alcohol; and it has taken some adjusting to being used to not putting alcohol in my body.

Your brain is addicted to alcohol, and so it will do anything, sell you all the fairytales and myths it can get away with to make sure it gets what it wants.

That's were support comes into play in recovery, something outside of yourself to give a second opinion on things and short circuit those addictive thought processes.

Hang in there!! :)

If you ran 10 miles every day after work, your brain would be saying "run" every time you got home from the office. In this case, your brain is saying "drink" because that's what alcoholics do. Many people find healthier habits to focus on - the trick is turning a drinking habit into a sobriety habit. It's a pain in the rear but it's worth it. Kick the drink and kick the benzos - your body is telling you it's had enough. Good luck in working on starting this new lifestyle!

Hi.
The thing that helped me when the thought of drinking was there was to think of non drinking things and to remember where my drinking usually ended up.

BE WELL

Hope you get well and recover from your surgery soon!

^^^This^^^

Alcoholics drink. You don't have to dissect it any further. And recovering alcoholics don't drink. Simple as that.

Thank you to all of you. Your words help!
I will keep as busy as busy can be today.

I'm struggling with the thought that I may be on what people call "cloud 9." I'm worried this "free" feeling will run out, and that I'll run back when it does....

It's part addiction, part habit. Have a plan for when the cravings come back; there are a thousand ways to cope with them, but first-up, make a real, heartfelt commitment not to drink again.

We also can find a way of sabotaging our own happiness. When we have had a while away from active drinking we start to feel physically better. No hangovers, more energy, better sleep. But things like self-esteem, short tempers, fear, perfectionism - these traits that a lot of addicts/alcoholics possess remain.

If we do nothing to change the part of us that uses alcohol to feel better about ourselves and/or our life circumstances, then this time of new found sobriety is a dangerous time. It's a very human thing to forget why we stopped a destructive behavior that is killing us when we start to feel better.

I see this play out with my own Dad, God bless him - he had heart surgery after nearly dying of a massive heart attack 10 years ago. For a couple years after a very emotional and committed decision to change he was much trimmer - in shape - took exercise seriously. Ten years out now, not so much. The reality of the heart condition and fear of death is no longer "real" enough to deter him from the immediate gratification of eating greasy food and relaxing when he should be walking. I think we do this with alcohol as well.

You got a "free" first week of not drinking, one of the hardest weeks to stay off the drink. I wish that you could take this momentum and use it to quit drinking for good. I believe that it would make you a better parent and a happier person. The longer you go the easier it gets. I'm afraid that you are preparing yourself to start drinking again, even though it seemed to torment you.