Advice on inpatient treatment!!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 64
Advice on inpatient treatment!!
Hi everyone. I am reaching out to Addicts and alcoholics who have been to an inpatient treatment center. My husband made the decision to check himself in to a detox facility and then a residential program for the first time ever. I just want to know what he is going through emotionally and how this may help him and understanding his disease and learning to live sober? He seems focused, positive but very scared. He was trying to stay sober with AA, therapy, and even an IOP program (which he never completed) but kept drinking. One week sober, 4-5 day binge, one terrible week of detoxing himself, then repeat. I was ready to have him leave.
I have my own set of emotions that I am dealing with right now and have been posting in the friends and family portion for support. Also I am attending Alanon to prepare myself for whatever the outcome is.
I just want to know from people who have had similar experiences what HE is going through. When you were in this situation what helped you? We have a 2 year old daughter and I know he is terrified of loosing us. Any advice for a loving wife who doesn't want to get too involved in his treatment? I am scared to participate in telling him all of the hurt he has caused me for years while he had been using. I don't want to break his spirit but I want to do whatever I can to help, not hinder his recovery. This is his only shot where he will still have a job and family to come back too.
I have been talking to him daily at the detox facility and he seems so out of it. Almost drugged up from the medication they are giving him. Is this normal? My husband is already so weird about taking any medication (even Tylenol) so hearing him on heavy meds scares me. Thank you everyone.
I have my own set of emotions that I am dealing with right now and have been posting in the friends and family portion for support. Also I am attending Alanon to prepare myself for whatever the outcome is.
I just want to know from people who have had similar experiences what HE is going through. When you were in this situation what helped you? We have a 2 year old daughter and I know he is terrified of loosing us. Any advice for a loving wife who doesn't want to get too involved in his treatment? I am scared to participate in telling him all of the hurt he has caused me for years while he had been using. I don't want to break his spirit but I want to do whatever I can to help, not hinder his recovery. This is his only shot where he will still have a job and family to come back too.
I have been talking to him daily at the detox facility and he seems so out of it. Almost drugged up from the medication they are giving him. Is this normal? My husband is already so weird about taking any medication (even Tylenol) so hearing him on heavy meds scares me. Thank you everyone.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
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Your husbands situation is one I am very familiar with. First of all, during detox, he may not be thinking very clearly for a few days so keep conversation light. I spent 35 days in rehab and it was immensely helpful. Just to be around other people from all walks of life also suffering from addiction is reassuring and was a real eye-opener for me.
When I sobered up, I was hit with crippling guilt and shame for the chaos I caused in the life of others. I didn't care that I had ruined my own life because my self-loathing made me think I didn't matter. Your husband will be going through a lot of raw emotions. There will probably group therapies at the rehab to help him sort through those but the real test will be when he gets out. I suggest holding off on confronting him with anything until he is finished treatment.
When I sobered up, I was hit with crippling guilt and shame for the chaos I caused in the life of others. I didn't care that I had ruined my own life because my self-loathing made me think I didn't matter. Your husband will be going through a lot of raw emotions. There will probably group therapies at the rehab to help him sort through those but the real test will be when he gets out. I suggest holding off on confronting him with anything until he is finished treatment.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Thank you. This helps and sounds exactly what seems to be happening. At what point in treatment were you able to start making progress and have a better outlook on the situation? Not feeling so guilty?
This specific facility seems to encourage a lot of family involvement. I have already been filled in that they will want me to write an impact letter and attend family workshops etc At some point. I know as backwards as it sounds for the things I have gone through because of the drinking...I really hate to see my husband hurting. I understand from one point-to heal and move on he may to actually face some of the destruction he has caused, but on the other hand my husband is very depressed at the moment and I really don't want to crush him anymore than he already feels. He constantly beats himself up for the negative things he has done. I suppose I will leave it to the experts...I am sure after my husband settles in they will taylor his treatment after evaluating him. The good thing is the facility is dual diagnosis and will be addressing his depression as well. I am glad to hear you had an eye opening experience...I am really holding on to that.
This specific facility seems to encourage a lot of family involvement. I have already been filled in that they will want me to write an impact letter and attend family workshops etc At some point. I know as backwards as it sounds for the things I have gone through because of the drinking...I really hate to see my husband hurting. I understand from one point-to heal and move on he may to actually face some of the destruction he has caused, but on the other hand my husband is very depressed at the moment and I really don't want to crush him anymore than he already feels. He constantly beats himself up for the negative things he has done. I suppose I will leave it to the experts...I am sure after my husband settles in they will taylor his treatment after evaluating him. The good thing is the facility is dual diagnosis and will be addressing his depression as well. I am glad to hear you had an eye opening experience...I am really holding on to that.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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I have been to both several detox and treatment centers, so I have ideas that might be helpful to you.
The drugs they give in detox centers are to both minimize the withdrawals and cravings. They are definitely helpful when someone first quits drinking. Trying to talk to him about serious issues would probably not work out well. Chances are he will also have a chance to talk to people from AA.
His experience in treatment will depend on two things; 1. how committed he is to stop drinking and 2, his staying away from people there that might not be that serious about quitting. Some people are more serious than others. I never took any new medications while in treatment, but some do. I preferred to stay away from them, but everybody is different. I wasn't physically withdrawing anymore, so made no sense to me.
Treatment is also nice because you are contained for a month or so. Gave me time to clear my head. His days should be very full, with many different types of groups, therapy and maybe AA meetings.
Most treatment centers have visiting time for relatives. Maybe after he is there for a few weeks, you could talk to him about some of the things that concern you. That way, he would be in an environment to talk to people about them. The knowledge and support you are getting from Alanon should help you along the way.
Some kind of continued support for both of you once he is back home is important in my opinion. The last time I had any long-term sobriety (3 years), was when I had both group and individual therapy and medications for depression/anxiety from a psychiatrist once I got out of treatment.
Anyway, hope this helps a little. He will soon find once he is there, that there really no reason to be scared. Many don't want to leave once their time is up.
Good luck, John
The drugs they give in detox centers are to both minimize the withdrawals and cravings. They are definitely helpful when someone first quits drinking. Trying to talk to him about serious issues would probably not work out well. Chances are he will also have a chance to talk to people from AA.
His experience in treatment will depend on two things; 1. how committed he is to stop drinking and 2, his staying away from people there that might not be that serious about quitting. Some people are more serious than others. I never took any new medications while in treatment, but some do. I preferred to stay away from them, but everybody is different. I wasn't physically withdrawing anymore, so made no sense to me.
Treatment is also nice because you are contained for a month or so. Gave me time to clear my head. His days should be very full, with many different types of groups, therapy and maybe AA meetings.
Most treatment centers have visiting time for relatives. Maybe after he is there for a few weeks, you could talk to him about some of the things that concern you. That way, he would be in an environment to talk to people about them. The knowledge and support you are getting from Alanon should help you along the way.
Some kind of continued support for both of you once he is back home is important in my opinion. The last time I had any long-term sobriety (3 years), was when I had both group and individual therapy and medications for depression/anxiety from a psychiatrist once I got out of treatment.
Anyway, hope this helps a little. He will soon find once he is there, that there really no reason to be scared. Many don't want to leave once their time is up.
Good luck, John
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 64
[QUOTE="2muchpain;4951120"]I have been to both several detox and treatment centers, so I have ideas that might be helpful to you. The drugs they give in detox centers are to both minimize the withdrawals and cravings. They are definitely helpful when someone first quits drinking. Trying to talk to him about serious issues would probably not work out well. Chances are he will also have a chance to talk to people from AA. His experience in treatment will depend on two things; 1. how committed he is to stop drinking and 2, his staying away from people there that might not be that serious about quitting. Some people are more serious than others. I never took any new medications while in treatment, but some do. I preferred to stay away from them, but everybody is different. I wasn't physically withdrawing anymore, so made no sense to me. Treatment is also nice because you are contained for a month or so. Gave me time to clear my head. His days should be very full, with many different types of groups, therapy and maybe AA meetings. Most treatment centers have visiting time for relatives. Maybe after he is there for a few weeks, you could talk to him about some of the things that concern you. That way, he would be in an environment to talk to people about them. The knowledge and support you are getting from Alanon should help you along the way. Some kind of continued support for both of you once he is back home is important in my opinion. The last time I had any long-term sobriety (3 years), was when I had both group and individual therapy and medications for depression/anxiety from a psychiatrist once I got out of treatment. Anyway, hope this helps a little. He will soon find once he is there, that there really no reason to be scared. Many don't want to leave once their time is up. Good luck, John[/QUOTE
John thank you for the comment...this helps me understand where he might be coming from. My husband found a therapist (at home) who has been phenomenal. He has been recommending for my husband to go to treatment before they can continue anything...obviously bringing up unresolved issues from my husbands childhood are huge triggers, and his therapist would not continue until my husband had sobriety under his belt with continued care. Smart man. He also involves me when necessary so I know the continued counseling along with AA might be a wise plan after he is out.
My Husband hates medication (has a problem taking Tylenol unless he is in excruciating pain). So hearing him on the phone from the detox facility was very hard for me. He was so out of it, mono-toned, and kept saying he was tired. I don't think he will take any medications for withdrawal after the alcohol is completely out of his system. However, he will most likely (I am hoping) get on some type of anti-depressant. He was prescribed Celexa when he was attending the IOP program but was only on it a week before he left the program- not really enough time for it to work. He stopped taking it because he didn't want to mix it with drinking. I think he would benefit from an anti depressant, but again I will leave it to the doctors to figure out.
My H has a lot on his plate at work (works 10 hour days 6 days a week, highly stress job). Add us having a two year old, IOP, depression, and trying to get through one day at a time, he was loosing it. I could just tell he needed a break. So him being able to get away and focus solely on himself is a blessing. He seems positive but the overwhelming guilt and shame is starting to set in- I can just tell by talking to him. I just pray he takes advantage of this opportunity while he still has the support of his boss and family.
John thank you for the comment...this helps me understand where he might be coming from. My husband found a therapist (at home) who has been phenomenal. He has been recommending for my husband to go to treatment before they can continue anything...obviously bringing up unresolved issues from my husbands childhood are huge triggers, and his therapist would not continue until my husband had sobriety under his belt with continued care. Smart man. He also involves me when necessary so I know the continued counseling along with AA might be a wise plan after he is out.
My Husband hates medication (has a problem taking Tylenol unless he is in excruciating pain). So hearing him on the phone from the detox facility was very hard for me. He was so out of it, mono-toned, and kept saying he was tired. I don't think he will take any medications for withdrawal after the alcohol is completely out of his system. However, he will most likely (I am hoping) get on some type of anti-depressant. He was prescribed Celexa when he was attending the IOP program but was only on it a week before he left the program- not really enough time for it to work. He stopped taking it because he didn't want to mix it with drinking. I think he would benefit from an anti depressant, but again I will leave it to the doctors to figure out.
My H has a lot on his plate at work (works 10 hour days 6 days a week, highly stress job). Add us having a two year old, IOP, depression, and trying to get through one day at a time, he was loosing it. I could just tell he needed a break. So him being able to get away and focus solely on himself is a blessing. He seems positive but the overwhelming guilt and shame is starting to set in- I can just tell by talking to him. I just pray he takes advantage of this opportunity while he still has the support of his boss and family.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,889
I have gone through in-patient rehab and the experience helped me in the long run with maintaining my sobriety. A good treatment program, like the one I went through, will have 30 days of lock down (little outside contact with family/friends and no going outside of treatment facility) intensive addiction treatment and 60 days (or more) of sober house living (alcohol/drug testing) with out-patient treatment. Then 6 months of monthly (or more) counseling for aftercare treatment.
It helped me to be monitored closely in my first 90 of treatment, then afterwards I developed a maintenance plan to continue with my sobriety. AA, therapy, sober supportive friends/family, building skill sets CBT, DBT to balance my mood and outlook in life, meditation, being informed about addiction: How addiction hijacks the brain - Harvard Health Publications and just striving each day to be a better person all around. I practiced a whole lot of maladaptive behaviors along with some serious cognitive distortions in active addiction. I needed to correct that along with just removing the alcohol/drugs.
It helped me to be monitored closely in my first 90 of treatment, then afterwards I developed a maintenance plan to continue with my sobriety. AA, therapy, sober supportive friends/family, building skill sets CBT, DBT to balance my mood and outlook in life, meditation, being informed about addiction: How addiction hijacks the brain - Harvard Health Publications and just striving each day to be a better person all around. I practiced a whole lot of maladaptive behaviors along with some serious cognitive distortions in active addiction. I needed to correct that along with just removing the alcohol/drugs.
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