Ugh yep
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 499
Ugh yep
Drank yesterday- a lot.
Today my heart rate never got below 100. Mostly 120-135.
Pisses me off.
Drank a little less today to try to bring it down- it's 135 right now.
I know.
I have to work tomorrow.
Just talking. I know what I need to do. I'm not doing it. I know it's a choice.
Not sure why I choose this.
My Dr. tells me I am trying to fill a void and drugs/alcohol fill it the easiest...that I need to find other ways to fill it.
Ugh.
Today my heart rate never got below 100. Mostly 120-135.
Pisses me off.
Drank a little less today to try to bring it down- it's 135 right now.
I know.
I have to work tomorrow.
Just talking. I know what I need to do. I'm not doing it. I know it's a choice.
Not sure why I choose this.
My Dr. tells me I am trying to fill a void and drugs/alcohol fill it the easiest...that I need to find other ways to fill it.
Ugh.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm sorry muunray - but I'm really glad you're back.
Nothing ever filled my void. Nothing for 30 years.
I've had better results trying to heal it tho?
Maybe thats a way forward for you too? a change of approach?
D
My Dr. tells me I am trying to fill a void and drugs/alcohol fill it the easiest...that I need to find other ways to fill it.
Ugh.
Ugh.
I've had better results trying to heal it tho?
Maybe thats a way forward for you too? a change of approach?
D
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
I can relate into the drinking but knowing it's bad, why the hell did I do it, please don't ask me what my plan is - I know the tools already, but did it anyway.
I'm in the midst of this problem. But we know better, no explanation and no new information can change it. We're informed and did it anyway.
For me, despite this thought process, I still want to be sober so badly but it is stuck in background processes I try and use these experiences as the building evidence my Sober lawyer against AV is going to use in court until it's impossible for the AV to win.
My case against AV is getting built steadily with witnesses and Sober lawyer hasn't won yet, but it's getting closer and closer.
We don't want to ultimately lose the case.
I'm in the midst of this problem. But we know better, no explanation and no new information can change it. We're informed and did it anyway.
For me, despite this thought process, I still want to be sober so badly but it is stuck in background processes I try and use these experiences as the building evidence my Sober lawyer against AV is going to use in court until it's impossible for the AV to win.
My case against AV is getting built steadily with witnesses and Sober lawyer hasn't won yet, but it's getting closer and closer.
We don't want to ultimately lose the case.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
It was, for me, a choice to drink for a lot of years, but the way I look at it now .... after a while the choice becomes a necessity.
In other words ... you HAVE to drink to even just feel normal.
If you are at this stage ... that'll be the main problem you are having in staying sober.
You are no longer drinking to have a good time ... you are drinking to exist & existing to drink.
In other words ... you HAVE to drink to even just feel normal.
If you are at this stage ... that'll be the main problem you are having in staying sober.
You are no longer drinking to have a good time ... you are drinking to exist & existing to drink.
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