Need to be set straight
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 54
Need to be set straight
I'm 73 days sober. Had nightly wine habit. Couple or a few glasses of Chardonnay a night.
I was just invited on a 1-night camping trip with old friends. My husband won't be going, and he really holds me accountable.
My AV keeps pestering me, telling me to bring some wine. It's just one night, old friends, away from home, what's the harm, nobody will even know. My old friends certainly don't know I quit; heck they probably never knew I drank. They will all be drinking moderately, so can I.
Help me shoot down AV.
I was just invited on a 1-night camping trip with old friends. My husband won't be going, and he really holds me accountable.
My AV keeps pestering me, telling me to bring some wine. It's just one night, old friends, away from home, what's the harm, nobody will even know. My old friends certainly don't know I quit; heck they probably never knew I drank. They will all be drinking moderately, so can I.
Help me shoot down AV.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Your AV doesn't need to be shot down as much as told to shut up. It's not a battle against an enemy that has any actual power. It's at times an annoying wimpering little pest, powerless pest.
It can't beat you, you give into its lie. So don't , just tell it you realize that it is nothing other than huff and puff , bloated , lying powerless windbag. It can only win if You give in, don't.
Maybe the trip isn't the right choice? Maybe going is what the AV thinks could be an advantage.
Either way starve it out, and tell it you are in charge.
It can't beat you, you give into its lie. So don't , just tell it you realize that it is nothing other than huff and puff , bloated , lying powerless windbag. It can only win if You give in, don't.
Maybe the trip isn't the right choice? Maybe going is what the AV thinks could be an advantage.
Either way starve it out, and tell it you are in charge.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,536
Originally Posted by neferkamichael 
If you go and don't drink you will be that much more powerful over your AV, rootin for ya.
THIS! If you decide to go, use the time to show that AV and yourself that you are totally fine without alcohol.
AND, tell your husband what your AV is saying. If you fess up to your accountability partner, you will be stronger and it takes the power away from your AV.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Becky, I made that bargain with myself once for just "one night". I had a great drunken time with old friends I hadn't seen in years. However, it didn't end at one night and when I got back from my night out of town, I went back to drinking on my own for another week solid.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
Great decision not to take alcohol Becky 
One of the best things about recovery was me learning to value myself...your friends might not know, your husband mightn't...but you would - and that's important
D
One of the best things about recovery was me learning to value myself...your friends might not know, your husband mightn't...but you would - and that's important
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Slouching toward Bethlehem
Posts: 94
Are you quitting for your husband or yourself? If you want the drink that badly, maybe you're not done yet. Or if the thought of the next drink fills you with horror, maybe you really are done. Either way, I wish you the best.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,462
With all my experience with relapse, it's never just one night. I've told myself beforehand that, and believed it. But it's always like a switch gets turned on and my mind becomes gripped by the alcohol demon again. It may be a week, it may be a year before I decide to quit again. That's what alcohol does to us. It clouds our minds.
I'm realizing it's sort of like a guy who had his leg amputated. He wants his leg back so bad, so he can get up and run and walk around like he used to. But he just can't. He caught a bad break. I have alcoholism. Not comparing alcoholism to losing a leg, just saying I think sometimes we have to accept something no matter how much we wish it weren't true.
I'm realizing it's sort of like a guy who had his leg amputated. He wants his leg back so bad, so he can get up and run and walk around like he used to. But he just can't. He caught a bad break. I have alcoholism. Not comparing alcoholism to losing a leg, just saying I think sometimes we have to accept something no matter how much we wish it weren't true.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 54
I'm all packed, and I leave tomorrow early a.m. I'm taking your words of wisdom with me. I have my orange soda, and have not heard from that wimpy, annoying, pesky, powerless AV since I posted last night.
I plan to have an excellent camping trip. It'll be my first sober one in at least a decade.
Thanks again to you all. Your words set me on the right path again.
I plan to have an excellent camping trip. It'll be my first sober one in at least a decade.
Thanks again to you all. Your words set me on the right path again.
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