Hi. My name is Lorraine And I think I went off deep end. Bit in a good way
 

Hi. No. Not in crazyland. Maybe a bit of self pity. My lupus is flaring. I'm doing chemo for it. My son is cancer. He's only a little boy. He's on chemo. Husband just got hospital sick. We are like. House hospital now. We have hospital beds. We have IV drips. We r lucky. I've got loDs of family. Who wil feed my other kids. Who will do the laundry. I just looked in the mirror. I cried. My lupus is more evident than ever. I staring at a bottle I'm so close to having a drink. I mean. Close close. I'm on the ledge. I came here first. :react

Good, Lorraine. A drink will only make things much worse tomorrow. You'll end up despising yourself--plus, you'll be back in the same old trapped rut. From other posts, I gather that you are the capable glue that holds the household together.

I understand your need to drop the whole universe and escape--but things really will go south if you cave in.

I'm really glad you posted here first!

How will drinking improve the situation? Keep asking yourself that over & over until the truth appears: IT WON'T.

So proud of you for posting here 1st. Cling to SR like your life depends on it because truth be told, it does.

Sending you love, hope, strength & light.

Thank Gilmer. It's why I came

So sorry about your son must be so hard for you. Drink won't help it will just make things worse. Hang in there x

My kids r not leaving me alone today. I've already taught 1 to juggle. I took ones pet snake to the vet And all I wanted to do was put Hermione of out of my misery with a bullit. Now I just made one waffles with lingonberry jam. And not ordinary waffles. They were made with almond and coco flour to her specs. Yet the more I do sober. The more I realize I can do sober. When drunk I was useless. I think off the ledge. I swear this site is cheaper and better than therapy.

Yes, I definitely agree!

U guys are amazing. U are better than family. Cause with family u get judgements. With I guys u can be 10k miles away. U can be rich or famous or poor. But we support eacthother. It's how the worldSHOULD work. Thanks. I'm sure it's not the first nor last time I'll be calling on you

wow Lorraine,

good moves!

Yet the more I do sober. The more I realize I can do sober.
funny how that works, eh?

It can be just the thing some of us need for recovery :) I love it too.

Glad you are here. :ring

Keep posting when things are tough. That's an awesome thing about SR, someone seems to be here 24/7 :)

Thinking of you EDS & Praying that things improve for you & little Son

so happy you made it through that!

um on those waffles!

love and hugs sent to you!

Yeah. Bear. I recently started pAleo. And she joined. But where I simply stuck to veg and meats. She wanted paleo friendly stuff. So I know have very exotic pantry items.

Hope you a feeling a little better now ESD907 :)

D

D.. when I see an update from you I get nervous. 'm actually afraid to open it up. teh fact I'm doing so, can be good or bad. I choose good. It means I can handle the criticisims that I deserve. YES I'm better. I took 4of mine to the movies this afternoon. THE fact I spent $57 on movie tix to mutant teenage ninja turtles makes me ill. THEN I spent another $17 on popcorn. I snuck in cokes. after this hard work, the kids were starving, so we went to 'chinese to go'. got 4 eggrolls and a QT of chicken fried rice. $14. then had to run inside market to get more coke, plus needed milk/eggs/paper towels. SO the movies cost over $100 and it was a crappy movie. I mean crap crap crap. how does anyone get off putting this out there? I like dumb movies. BUT comeone. couldnt the turtles ONCE said something remotely amusing? ONCE? and AM I wrong in thinking megan fox is too young for all that plastic surgery? she looks 45 now. she was such a pretty woman like a few years ago. now she looks like a real housewife of orange county. YUCK. DEE. I realize my answer went far. But I"m still in that nervous energy mode. I"m keeping really busy. IM" about to go and clean barnacles off jetskis just to keep moving.

I cleaned my boats. I took Dominic out into the lake on our paddle board. HE has been begging for the 3 days that I"ve been hiding. I was the mom 'that did'...not the mom that hid. so he was happy. sunday a.m...we are all going out on the lake. THOR will be with me on the boat. we will have already toasted english muffins and hardboiled eggs. we love eggs in the ' blank' household. we eat them so much. we live on a farm ...so we have loads of eggs.... we also have avocados..and oranges in season. we are florida from toe to head . my kids hate it. they want to be NYC kids. but we arent. ONLY Thor likes our roots. funny, huh?

That's so true.

Glad you powered through the cravings, ESD, and that you are a part of SR and have made us part of your safety net.

U guys..i'm here alll the time.

Great!!!!!