Can I ask what was the original reason why you felt you needed to abstain from Alcohol?

I try and be quite positive and yes everything has gone very smooth for my sobriety thus far. Even from time to time I've been around old friends and they are doing lines of coke, drinking hard liquor etc.. I catch up with them maybe 1-2x a year, realize god is this boring and make my exit an hour or so later. That just is not my scene at all. I have no issues being around users and that type of using actually turns me off. On the other hand kicking back on a plush leather sofa, pop a lp on the turntable and pour myself an expensive drink of something to slowly sip on sounds simply marvelous.

In addition when I vacation having a night cap or something also seems nice. I have cut out all my old friends, I can't drink and drive, I would never consume during the day. Basically I could only drink when with my girlfriend while on vacation or when I am at home, at night, on a non work out day. Thats basically the jist of it. Not to mention I would never give up exercise and a clean diet for booze as they are more important to me.

I may just be going thru a alcohol thinking phase at the moment. I will let a month pass and see how I feel then before I make a decision, more than likely at least.

mpr, I've read parts of your old thread on getting sober and found it inspiring.

So now, what exactly brings your mind to alcohol again? You say you fancy some enhancement. Are you looking for new things to experiment with? Some kind of change to your life and routines? Or do you specifically fancy the effects of alcohol to amplify your experience?

If the former (novelty), there are millions of things to try and explore in healthy and risk-free ways, even "altered states of consciousness" as they say it. If you are looking for relaxation, same there: many different risk-free approaches.

If you specifically recall the effects of booze and are thinking about recapping that occasionally because you know you liked it in the past, I would definitely think deeply... it sounds like you do examine many sides of the issue. I am just suggesting that you look deeply into your motivations.

Earlier in the evening I did a search on the forum and came across that very thread, very informative.

The original reason was that I felt I was drinking more than i'd like to and I wanted to stop it before it became a issue. That is basically it. My will was strong, I gave it up cold turkey and never looked back.

Thank you, I appreciate that!

Not really looking for new things to experiment with, I am always open to new things anyhow less hard drugs of course. I just miss being able to enjoy a nice drink, responsibly.

I am definitely a deep thinker and tend to cover all my bases before making a decision. I think about my motives a bit more carefully though.

It sounds very cliche, and any reason I provide really just sounds like a alki looking for justification - may be on a slight level but even if it were not it still comes across as such. All of us on this forum have the scarlet letter so to speak. The odds are against us if we want to quit, remain sober, or attempt moderation. We all have our own journey and can get endless advice along the way but only we can truly make decisions for ourselves.

I will keep this thread updated if there is anything to update. The sad part is if I have a drink and feel fine, I know many will just say 1 month, 6 months etc.. I don't think that is cool but I understand at the same time to stay on track themselves many have to persecute out of reflex alone. Whereas I personally would be happy for the person and wish them the best. That being said many on here are great as well and am thankful for all of them as they helped me get sober.

I hope you don't seriously think anyone's out to persecute you or are out to malign you.

You've had the benefit of some great experience here - from several different people - but what you do with that is entirely up to you.

I genuinely hope you'll decide there's nothing in it for you to go back there, but whatever you decide is your call.

happy trails mpr :)

D

The amount of time and energy being spent on debating going back to 'light' drinking....

This is a great example of why abstinence is easier than moderation. Live, and in person!
In additional, you are starting to rationalize again...

It's certainly a slippery slope to be skiing on no matter how good you believe your physical, emotional, and mental health is...

I wish you luck in finding a path that brings you peace...

Let us know how it turns out.

The reality is this is a support site for people who want to stay sober. People offer their opinions (wanted or not), because ultimately, most don't want to see you pissaway your sober time down the drain and regret it.

Personally, you might not "think that is cool", but I'm damn glad people take the time to share generously when people start threads about contemplating drinking.

Impossible for me x

MPR - I have not read all of the posts but I did read the 1st page...seems it got sideways of late for whatever the reasons. To your original question though, I read that you have traded addictions. You list other activities that you have dove into head first but I wonder if this has been your addiction at work the whole time? This was my experience. I was able to shape shift so to speak and take on different obsessive hobbies including drugs and alcohol for some time but not limited to work, sports, material things. The danger is in the addictive behaviors or substances not what the substances or behaviors are for me. Getting a sports car and driving 180mph daily is just as dangerous as smoking crack or drinking daily.

The illusion of moderate drinking after periods of abstinence is the great illusion that many alcoholics chase to their graves. I am not one to say don't. In fact, there is only one way for you to find out. As a betting man, I would take the under on your experiment though, but you might need this experience to gain the clarity and resolve your need, albeit incredibly dangerous. Some try and don't come back and some injure others in the process and can never get what they loose back.

I believe sobriety has allowed me to begin my journey of recovery and enlightenment. I could not have achieved what I have without sobriety first. However, I would not remain sober without the awareness and enlightenment I have achieved. Bit of a chicken and egg syndrome. It sounds to me like you achieved sobriety but have not pursued your own awakening. This is fine but it often manifests in the "what ifs." I don't have these but maybe I will too at 7 years? Although I am doubtful I will. I do believe we get out what we put in.

Whatever your decision may be I wish you the best and encourage you to keep posting throughout to let us know.

No I don't think anyone is out to deliberately persecute maybe, well not most at least. There is of course a bias on this board which is a no brainer. I just always try and look at both aspects myself and be open minded.

I wanted input and I got it! I asked for it so I own that. The fact that I had to ask the question should let many know how indecisive I truly am. I will be sober today and hey thats the way its supposed to go right.

Yes abstaining is easier and no risks involved. You are absolutely correct.

will do!

You hit the nail on the head.

I get a little addicted to many of the things I do, healthy or otherwise.

I got sober quick and good, a bit too good! I didn't explore other avenues, moderation etc.. Now 7 years good and sober the "what ifs" kick in like you said. If I tried moderation and failed I wouldn't be questioning now.

I would say 95% if I tried alcohol and saw old symptoms I would drop it like a bad habit. The chance of spiraling downhill I would say is slim. Some things are best left alone though.

I will take it day by day and evaluate things. For all I know by the end of the month I will have no feeling to attempt moderation again. I will wait and see.

For now I am still 7 years sober(from alcohol) and overall happy:c011:

If I am correct you will not be successful though. While it might be what you think you need to get your resolve, realize you are playing Russian Roulette. If I am correct in terms of trading addictions then your addictions are alive and well just bubbling under the surface. This will mean a quick and likely violent trip to alcohol abuse. One that you might not be able to come back from - the risk. Again this might be your path but it is not destined. You don't have to go down this path.

Whatever your decision I hope you find what you need in it though.

It just dawned on me. You have the seven year itch.

BTW, congratulations on 7 years of sobriety.

And if you are successful at drinking again as a normal person, I'd rather not know about it. Keep it to yourself please.
That could be damaging to some people. Thanks.

MPR,

From a different point in life than you are at, I drank for 35+ years. Some periods of abstinence, though in hindsight I don't really view them as sobriety.

7 years is remarkable, especially for someone young. I couldn't do it.
You've read some incredible insight on these posts and had terrific feedback - your comments are heartfelt as well. This is SR at it's best, to me. Folks sharing their experience while not judging.

For me the simple unvarnished truth I had to realize was I am an alcoholic. The obsession of the mind - High End bourbon, with a heavy crystal glass and a couple of ice cubes.....had to be removed. The very first drink started an AHHHH feeling that lead to a physical craving.

When I drank, not always - but many times, I continued after I told myself I would stop.

So, perhaps asking yourself if you are truly an alcoholic is the only question to ponder. If you are not, why total abstinence for this many years - kind of unusual. Maybe you explained that, I did not read every single post.......

I do know based on listening to others experience that sobriety is a huge gift and is not always readily available to pick up anytime one desires. Maybe, maybe not....

Thanks for the honest post, I needed to read this today!
Best wishes on your journey, as for all of us....

peace

Someone was just talking to me about their exact experience like this. They thought they were just young when they had a problem in the past and they'd be able to pick it up again in moderation. It didn't work out.

mpr, I have not read your previous posts, so my questions are: why 7yrs? that's a seriously awesome amt. of sober time! that took commitment im guessing... something made you invest in the sober path.

speaking from my paltry 7 months-I considered myself to have a pretty good palette for craft beer and good wine. I homebrewed beers I was proud of. if I allow myself to fantasize about moderate drinking to "appreciate" the nuances of flavor, I ultimately continue to the flavor of the buzz. theres where the truth is for me. that's what I miss. and I don't approach that buzz in a half-assed way. LOL!

so when I think of moderation exercises, I think about risk analysis. would it be worth any of the pain I went through to enjoy the flavor of a beverage? NO. ill just go down to the store and pick up some kind of crazy soda or make something myself. I can still savor. in fact I do that better when im not anesthetized.

I really wish you all the luck. continue to be honest with yourself, and choose whatever ends up making your life better.

Loved this post and for me a problem drinker is a alcoholic end of

Sheesh. . . just the way some of you romanticized the drink on this thread was a trigger for me. Now my AV is saying "oh, yeah. . . that sounds great." Agree with LBrain, I don't wanna know. Now I gotta go kick my program into high gear for today.

Thanks for all the reminders of why I will never drink again, folks.

Oh, and the "I'm more mature now" idea is bogus, IMHO. I didn't start drinking until I was 48. I had raised my children, super active in my church, a highly paid professional business person, and a very healthy, clean eating, highly fit person. Maturity has nothing to do with it. Just my 2 cents.