7yrs sober, moderate drinking?
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Originally Posted by LBrain 
oh yeah, thanks for reminding me, the 12 & 18 yr olds and pricey single barrels I had for special occasions. When I was out they became drinking it quick instead of sipping and enjoying. To think that I embraced the idea of not "wasting money" on expensive booze because all that mattered was what a bottle of kesslers could do.
Originally Posted by legna
I find it interesting that my first thoughts are co-dependent. You know, how open do I want to be with what I really think? I ignored that thought of course...
The idea exists out there that one can be an alcoholic and be in denial. If the definition of alcoholic has grown so wide as to accommodate folks who have successfully quit for seven years and STILL aren't sure...well, then I have no idea what I'm talking about and you should ignore anything I'm about to say.
For me, I sobered up through a spiritual transformation. That required fostering a relationship with a higher power and getting really honest with myself - amongst other things. After spending seven years cozying up to my higher power and practicing honesty and doing some serious self-examination...I don't think that I'd be able to lie to myself about whether or not I'm an alcoholic.
So, I don't think you're lying to yourself. I think you really don't know. Cool. Ignorance is the beginning of wisdom.
Here's the deal though: If you are an alcoholic, this very well might be suicide. If not, it's pain - over and over again, until you die unless you can get sober again. It's not a guarantee; many don't make it back. If you're not an alcoholic, then it's a spirited cocktail every so often with no significant consequences (unless you are a potential alcoholic and this sets the wheels back in motion toward that end).
Seems like an off-balanced risk/reward scenario. That said, I'd have to find out for myself. That's the truth. In fact, I did:
I got court ordered to AA at thirteen years old. Seven years sober I picked up a drink. Seven more years passed. My 240 pound frame was down to 120 pounds. I was homeless, penniless, and facing seventy years in prison. My heart quit in the DT's and I still struggle with the brain damage as a result of that stoppage.
I've got twenty-two years sober today. Truth be told, I don't think I was an alcoholic at thirteen years old. I was on the way though - and a seven year hiatus wasn't sufficient to derail me. Can't say what's right for you - and I'm not putting this out there to scare you or to encourage you - I just want to be respectful, put some stuff out there from my experience in the hope that it helps you to make a more informed decision whatever you choose.
Best of luck.
The idea exists out there that one can be an alcoholic and be in denial. If the definition of alcoholic has grown so wide as to accommodate folks who have successfully quit for seven years and STILL aren't sure...well, then I have no idea what I'm talking about and you should ignore anything I'm about to say.
For me, I sobered up through a spiritual transformation. That required fostering a relationship with a higher power and getting really honest with myself - amongst other things. After spending seven years cozying up to my higher power and practicing honesty and doing some serious self-examination...I don't think that I'd be able to lie to myself about whether or not I'm an alcoholic.
So, I don't think you're lying to yourself. I think you really don't know. Cool. Ignorance is the beginning of wisdom.
Here's the deal though: If you are an alcoholic, this very well might be suicide. If not, it's pain - over and over again, until you die unless you can get sober again. It's not a guarantee; many don't make it back. If you're not an alcoholic, then it's a spirited cocktail every so often with no significant consequences (unless you are a potential alcoholic and this sets the wheels back in motion toward that end).
Seems like an off-balanced risk/reward scenario. That said, I'd have to find out for myself. That's the truth. In fact, I did:
I got court ordered to AA at thirteen years old. Seven years sober I picked up a drink. Seven more years passed. My 240 pound frame was down to 120 pounds. I was homeless, penniless, and facing seventy years in prison. My heart quit in the DT's and I still struggle with the brain damage as a result of that stoppage.
I've got twenty-two years sober today. Truth be told, I don't think I was an alcoholic at thirteen years old. I was on the way though - and a seven year hiatus wasn't sufficient to derail me. Can't say what's right for you - and I'm not putting this out there to scare you or to encourage you - I just want to be respectful, put some stuff out there from my experience in the hope that it helps you to make a more informed decision whatever you choose.
Best of luck.
Thats the crazy thing about us, we are all so unique and different yet at the same time the same also. Nothing is ever clear cut, works for some, not for others, wont know till ya try, risk vs. reward like you said.
Originally Posted by Kaneda8888
Hey mpr
I'm curious to know what exactly is the attraction of alcohol now that you've abstained for so long ? From my viewpoint, I would investigate that a little deeper. How does alcohol benefit you now ?
I'm curious to know what exactly is the attraction of alcohol now that you've abstained for so long ? From my viewpoint, I would investigate that a little deeper. How does alcohol benefit you now ?
I find alcohol has a "U" effect, well an upside down "U" effect, small amounts good, you hit your peak but if you go beyond its all downhill. Just a matter of not going beyond - yes much easier said than done! lol
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Originally Posted by mpr
Hi,
Appreciate the honesty. I've been thinking about this for quite some time and was a bit apprehensive to start a thread for obvious reasons.
Part of me even says well drinking wont make or break anything, I can easily go without it, I have. It's just nice to have a drink every once in awhile. I almost feel like I deserve it, if it goes bad I have nobody to blame but myself. I'm not sold on anything yet just thinking... Might even just be a phase and it'll totally pass. I wont make any rash decisions that is for sure! I worked hard and earned those 7 years, I wont give them up so quick!
Appreciate the honesty. I've been thinking about this for quite some time and was a bit apprehensive to start a thread for obvious reasons.
Part of me even says well drinking wont make or break anything, I can easily go without it, I have. It's just nice to have a drink every once in awhile. I almost feel like I deserve it, if it goes bad I have nobody to blame but myself. I'm not sold on anything yet just thinking... Might even just be a phase and it'll totally pass. I wont make any rash decisions that is for sure! I worked hard and earned those 7 years, I wont give them up so quick!
You may be a problem drinker who's now 'grown out'...but you might not be too.
I only ever had 2 months before I came here but I made the mistake myself of thinking abstinence equals control...it doesn't...as those guys I mentioned before can attest to.
The second thing is - and I can't stress this enough - don't assume that because you quit before you'll do so easily again.
That's not actually a given.
Again from personal experience, I went out for a 'night off' in 2004...didn't stop again until 2007.
D
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Originally Posted by Dee74
I would definitely give it more thought
You may be a problem drinker who's now 'grown out'...but you might not be too.
I only ever had 2 months before I came here but I made the mistake myself of thinking abstinence equals control...it doesn't...as those guys I mentioned before can attest to.
The second thing is - and I can't stress this enough - don't assume that because you quit before you'll do so easily again.
That's not actually a given.
Again from personal experience, I went out for a 'night off' in 2004...didn't stop again until 2007.
D
You may be a problem drinker who's now 'grown out'...but you might not be too.
I only ever had 2 months before I came here but I made the mistake myself of thinking abstinence equals control...it doesn't...as those guys I mentioned before can attest to.
The second thing is - and I can't stress this enough - don't assume that because you quit before you'll do so easily again.
That's not actually a given.
Again from personal experience, I went out for a 'night off' in 2004...didn't stop again until 2007.
D
You are right also that just because I did this back then(quit), that I can do it again now. Being a double edged sword though it also means just because I had a problem then doesn't mean I will now as well.
There is only one way to actually find out and I am not sure if I will pursue that for sure just yet..
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Congratulations on 7 years sober!
If I have read your post's in this thread correctly, you are now 33 years old. This means you are still young enough to have a long life ahead of you. If you are truly just 'bored out of your mind', as you said, why not do something to better yourself instead of taking the risk of re discovering that you have a problem with alcohol? A problem that could lead you down a road that you cannot see from where you are?
Go back to school and earn a degree or Masters degree. Take cooking classes and become a master chef. Use your experience, strength and hope to help people struggling with addiction.
It might be a good time to do some research on the effects of ethyl alcohol on the brain, heart, liver and the rest of your body.
Obviously, it is your decision but IMHO, throwing away 7 years of sobriety because you are bored is illogical.
Good Luck.
If I have read your post's in this thread correctly, you are now 33 years old. This means you are still young enough to have a long life ahead of you. If you are truly just 'bored out of your mind', as you said, why not do something to better yourself instead of taking the risk of re discovering that you have a problem with alcohol? A problem that could lead you down a road that you cannot see from where you are?
Go back to school and earn a degree or Masters degree. Take cooking classes and become a master chef. Use your experience, strength and hope to help people struggling with addiction.
It might be a good time to do some research on the effects of ethyl alcohol on the brain, heart, liver and the rest of your body.
Obviously, it is your decision but IMHO, throwing away 7 years of sobriety because you are bored is illogical.
Good Luck.
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Originally Posted by Hope4Life
Congratulations on 7 years sober!
If I have read your post's in this thread correctly, you are now 33 years old. This means you are still young enough to have a long life ahead of you. If you are truly just 'bored out of your mind', as you said, why not do something to better yourself instead of taking the risk of re discovering that you have a problem with alcohol? A problem that could lead you down a road that you cannot see from where you are?
Go back to school and earn a degree or Masters degree. Take cooking classes and become a master chef. Use your experience, strength and hope to help people struggling with addiction.
It might be a good time to do some research on the effects of ethyl alcohol on the brain, heart, liver and the rest of your body.
Obviously, it is your decision but IMHO, throwing away 7 years of sobriety because you are bored is illogical.
Good Luck.
If I have read your post's in this thread correctly, you are now 33 years old. This means you are still young enough to have a long life ahead of you. If you are truly just 'bored out of your mind', as you said, why not do something to better yourself instead of taking the risk of re discovering that you have a problem with alcohol? A problem that could lead you down a road that you cannot see from where you are?
Go back to school and earn a degree or Masters degree. Take cooking classes and become a master chef. Use your experience, strength and hope to help people struggling with addiction.
It might be a good time to do some research on the effects of ethyl alcohol on the brain, heart, liver and the rest of your body.
Obviously, it is your decision but IMHO, throwing away 7 years of sobriety because you are bored is illogical.
Good Luck.
I should elaborate on the bored comment. Yes I am bored at times but no I don't think alcohol will fill that void. I just feel like a little drink will enhance life a bit, a slight pleasure. I started traveling a lot and not having the odd drink totally sucks, as a result of me not drinking my gf doesn't drink as well. I just feel mature enough now to have a drink here and there. I guess it is hard to explain but I am sure you understand what I mean.
I want to drink nice expensive drinks while I relax, movie, music, mellow out. I guess if one where to break down anybodys drinking motive, no reason is a good one. I just want to be "normal" I guess...
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Crazy how I mentioned in my last post my gf as a result of me not drinking also does not drink.
Interesting that she quit, totally content with not drinking yet here I am struggling with considering being a moderate drinker after 7 years sober! Though when I brought it up with her she said she doesn't believe I am weak and could successfully have a drink here and there - I don't think she gets problem drinking/alcoholism all too well though as she has never had a problem. She also said she doesn't want to tell me to try it in case it doesn't work as I would possibly blame her lol.
Interesting that she quit, totally content with not drinking yet here I am struggling with considering being a moderate drinker after 7 years sober! Though when I brought it up with her she said she doesn't believe I am weak and could successfully have a drink here and there - I don't think she gets problem drinking/alcoholism all too well though as she has never had a problem. She also said she doesn't want to tell me to try it in case it doesn't work as I would possibly blame her lol.
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Originally Posted by mpr
Crazy how I mentioned in my last post my gf as a result of me not drinking also does not drink.
Interesting that she quit, totally content with not drinking yet here I am struggling with considering being a moderate drinker after 7 years sober! Though when I brought it up with her she said she doesn't believe I am weak and could successfully have a drink here and there - I don't think she gets problem drinking/alcoholism all too well though as she has never had a problem. She also said she doesn't want to tell me to try it in case it doesn't work as I would possibly blame her lol.
Interesting that she quit, totally content with not drinking yet here I am struggling with considering being a moderate drinker after 7 years sober! Though when I brought it up with her she said she doesn't believe I am weak and could successfully have a drink here and there - I don't think she gets problem drinking/alcoholism all too well though as she has never had a problem. She also said she doesn't want to tell me to try it in case it doesn't work as I would possibly blame her lol.
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Originally Posted by pulltight
Well, the more I read and the more I think about your situation I would say that the juice aint worth the squeeze.
I think I give the booze a lot of credit more than it deserves at times. Just being sober for so long and all the emphases I put on booze being bad(it is) but overly bad is just me setting myself up for disaster in a way as well. Almost failure before even attempting.
I still have not made up my mind. Like any optimistic boozer we think about what if we could and it would be different, maybe it will be, likely it wont be but one wont know for sure unless they try.
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Originally Posted by Dee74
do you think addiction equates with weakness?
D
D
Weak, strong, neutral etc.. I don't think addiction discriminates and we are all vulnerable given the right circumstances.
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DON'T DO IT!!!!! the feeling you think you will get from Alcohol is just an illusion. I personally think the animal inside never dies, it sleeps but it never dies. If you have had problems in the past then you are looking to awake that beast again.
As others have said here, look at why you think alcohol is needed to fulfil your needs, identify what these needs are and then satisfy them with an alternative to alcohol. GOOD LUCK
As others have said here, look at why you think alcohol is needed to fulfil your needs, identify what these needs are and then satisfy them with an alternative to alcohol. GOOD LUCK
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Originally Posted by MiniBK
DON'T DO IT!!!!! the feeling you think you will get from Alcohol is just an illusion. I personally think the animal inside never dies, it sleeps but it never dies. If you have had problems in the past then you are looking to awake that beast again.
As others have said here, look at why you think alcohol is needed to fulfil your needs, identify what these needs are and then satisfy them with an alternative to alcohol. GOOD LUCK
As others have said here, look at why you think alcohol is needed to fulfil your needs, identify what these needs are and then satisfy them with an alternative to alcohol. GOOD LUCK
Even if I drink a moderate amount, 3-4 drinks say 2-3x a week I am pretty certain my mind will always be thinking of that drink, planning what I'll do when I have the drink etc.. That doesn't seem to normal to me. I have an addictive personality, slight ocd, probably not a good combo.
I know for a fact I can smoke a bit of weed and be fine plus it mellows me out, if a really want a vice I think that would be a better alternative than alcohol, for me personally.
I am not 100% decided just yet but I am leaning towards abstaining for now...
On a side note I am rather strict with my diet. Alcohol is just empty calories, if I do not drink again I should reward myself with a more 'lax diet, treats etc... I've already been doing that a bit and it makes me feel better. I got pretty anal about always eating clean for quite some time.
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Originally Posted by mpr
Yep the beast inside, exactly what Johnny Cash said. I know it never goes away, if I can tame the beast with a drink here and there maybe it will rest easy, or not. It is a gamble for sure and I know the risk. I am still undecided but I have been reading a lot and so far I am leaning towards staying sober.
Even if I drink a moderate amount, 3-4 drinks say 2-3x a week I am pretty certain my mind will always be thinking of that drink, planning what I'll do when I have the drink etc.. That doesn't seem to normal to me. I have an addictive personality, slight ocd, probably not a good combo.
I know for a fact I can smoke a bit of weed and be fine plus it mellows me out, if a really want a vice I think that would be a better alternative than alcohol, for me personally.
I am not 100% decided just yet but I am leaning towards abstaining for now...
On a side note I am rather strict with my diet. Alcohol is just empty calories, if I do not drink again I should reward myself with a more 'lax diet, treats etc... I've already been doing that a bit and it makes me feel better. I got pretty anal about always eating clean for quite some time.
Even if I drink a moderate amount, 3-4 drinks say 2-3x a week I am pretty certain my mind will always be thinking of that drink, planning what I'll do when I have the drink etc.. That doesn't seem to normal to me. I have an addictive personality, slight ocd, probably not a good combo.
I know for a fact I can smoke a bit of weed and be fine plus it mellows me out, if a really want a vice I think that would be a better alternative than alcohol, for me personally.
I am not 100% decided just yet but I am leaning towards abstaining for now...
On a side note I am rather strict with my diet. Alcohol is just empty calories, if I do not drink again I should reward myself with a more 'lax diet, treats etc... I've already been doing that a bit and it makes me feel better. I got pretty anal about always eating clean for quite some time.
The beast is smarter than we give it credit. It has survival instincts, it will do what it needs to, to get what it wants. Put's you in a false sense of security before it pounces
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Originally Posted by MiniBK
The beast is smarter than we give it credit. It has survival instincts, it will do what it needs to, to get what it wants. Put's you in a false sense of security before it pounces
To be totally honest if I just drank 3-4 drinks 3x a week and stuck with it indefinitely I really don't see a problem. It isn't a far stretch from what I used to do, I used to drink maybe 6-7x a week and have 5 drinks. I have more going on in my life now and am more mature, I think it is feasible but nobody knows for sure that is the unknown aspect. I could snowball to 10 drinks, who knows.. I'm either gonna try at some point or not, until then I wont know.
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In my experience which includes 5 years in AA and 2+ years on SR and my own experience of 6 years alcohol free then drinking. I have seen a 100% failure rate of being able to moderate.
Maybe you will be one in a million but I wouldn't bet on it
Maybe you will be one in a million but I wouldn't bet on it
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Originally Posted by mpr
It definitely can. I believe there can be a happy medium but not everybody and even then that line can get blurred at times.
To be totally honest if I just drank 3-4 drinks 3x a week and stuck with it indefinitely I really don't see a problem. It isn't a far stretch from what I used to do, I used to drink maybe 6-7x a week and have 5 drinks. I have more going on in my life now and am more mature, I think it is feasible but nobody knows for sure that is the unknown aspect. I could snowball to 10 drinks, who knows.. I'm either gonna try at some point or not, until then I wont know.
To be totally honest if I just drank 3-4 drinks 3x a week and stuck with it indefinitely I really don't see a problem. It isn't a far stretch from what I used to do, I used to drink maybe 6-7x a week and have 5 drinks. I have more going on in my life now and am more mature, I think it is feasible but nobody knows for sure that is the unknown aspect. I could snowball to 10 drinks, who knows.. I'm either gonna try at some point or not, until then I wont know.
The problem is and I am guessing it was the same for most here, I started only drinking 1beer, once a week which slowly escalated to the equivalent of a bottle of Whiskey a day. I'm scared that after time, your thirst will not be quenched, the buzz you want to reach will longer be achieved with 3-4 drinks. I mean, why else would you drink for, it sure as hell isn't for the taste, its for the buzz/relaxation right!?!
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Originally Posted by MiniBK
The problem is and I am guessing it was the same for most here, I started only drinking 1beer, once a week which slowly escalated to the equivalent of a bottle of Whiskey a day. I'm scared that after time, your thirst will not be quenched, the buzz you want to reach will longer be achieved with 3-4 drinks. I mean, why else would you drink for, it sure as hell isn't for the taste, its for the buzz/relaxation right!?!
Of course I would drink to obtain a slight buzz, I don't see myself going overboard. I am in a sense considering drinking for the taste as I mentioned earlier I wanted to sample some high end scotch' and bourbon.
Even while sober from alcohol when I would smoke weed I would always smoke the bare minimum to get high and not overdo it.
Apparently based on health benefits alone men are not supposed to exceed 14 drinks per week and roughly 2-3 drinks a night, 2 days off a week minimum and apparently the stuff is actually slightly beneficial.
Now if at my worst I was drinking a bottle a night I would say things look a bit more gloom for me. Not saying I am in the clear but just my impression based on my history.
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Your posts have quite a positive tone which leads me to believe that whatever you did to quit, and how you have been living since, has been working well for you. It would seem to make sense to continue, and not much sense to put everything at risk for the sake of an experiment. You may lose control and if you do, you may never get it back.
I don't know if it is that important to know if you are an alcoholic of the hopeless variety like I was. You have found a good solution so why not stick with it.
Now if you were like me, there is an aspect to my program which requires complete surrender in order to recover. In part it goes "the delusion that we are like other people, or presently maybe, has to be smashed". Full recovery for me would have been impossible while I was still entertaining the idea that I might be able to drink like other people. For as long as I held that thought I wouldn't be fully willing or honest enough to work the program effectively, and the result of that would be miserable sobriety... What is sometimes referred to as dry drunk. Another binge was needed to smash the delusion.
But you don't sound miserable, quite the contrary, so I would suggest taking the easy path and continue your sober journey, which has worked very well for you so far.
I don't know if it is that important to know if you are an alcoholic of the hopeless variety like I was. You have found a good solution so why not stick with it.
Now if you were like me, there is an aspect to my program which requires complete surrender in order to recover. In part it goes "the delusion that we are like other people, or presently maybe, has to be smashed". Full recovery for me would have been impossible while I was still entertaining the idea that I might be able to drink like other people. For as long as I held that thought I wouldn't be fully willing or honest enough to work the program effectively, and the result of that would be miserable sobriety... What is sometimes referred to as dry drunk. Another binge was needed to smash the delusion.
But you don't sound miserable, quite the contrary, so I would suggest taking the easy path and continue your sober journey, which has worked very well for you so far.
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I can't speak from experience of so many sober years....I do love the following thread that I've linked below, however. You will see an update from the original poster a few years later as you read through;
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html
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