When Did Sobriety Start To Run Smoothly ??
 

Often one's new to sobriety ask "how long will it take to be comfortable in sobriety ?" Comfortable in my own skin ?" "How long until the urges go away ?" Will I ever be happy with this no drinking way of life ?" If so, how long will it take ?" When will my Program become my every day part of life ?" etc. etc. etc.

Breaking down many different factors to one simple question.

When Did Sobriety Start To Run Smoothly For You ??

Actually my answer is not a simple one. The reason would be, I have sobered up on several different occasions over a lifetime of failed attempts. Well. I would not call them complete failures. I had good periods of total abstinence but, eventually returned to the drink again. Point being, each time in which I sobered up the amount of time needed for my Sobriety to sink in and become a part of my daily life seemed to be much different.

So, I will in this thread discuss the last time in which I sobered up, almost 7 years ago now. I had created a lot of wreckage during my last outing with the drink. It was not until around 4 months sober that I was sleeping without nightmares. The home life was pretty much back to normal. My legal problems were pretty much settled. My contact with my Higher Power was greater than ever. And of most importance, my sober Program had become part of my daily life and I wished to never return to dancing with the liquid devil.

Yes, I was once again happy in sobriety.

Mountainman

Not sure yet because it's still early for me.
I'm on day six now and tomorrow will be a week and I know I'll make that, made it before so I'll be more excited when I'm dry a month, and I will make a month.

Right now it's going good because I finally started blaming alcohol for my troubles and not blaming everything else and defending alcohol.

I think it's a gradual transition and I believe you need to pass certain tests. For example, you could be sober for a weeks or months happily, but then you could be invited to a social event where you always used to drink, your will power will be tested. You need to overcome these tests before you can say it's running smoothly. Obviously the longer you stay sober before coming across such test I believe you make these tests easier to pass.

Well, we see some come here to site that just don't seem to be very happy in their early sobriety. Many actually claim to be bored. Amazing how soon the alcoholic after stepping away from the drink can deceive themselves into thinking that they are missing out on something !
MM


Self-deception is a process of denying or rationalizing away the relevance, significance, or importance of opposing evidence and logical argument. Self-deception involves convincing oneself of a truth (or lack of truth) so that one does not reveal any self-knowledge of the deception

I actually do the opposite and make sure I meet up with Friends and Family to prove to myself that you don't need to be a recluse and that the Alcohol does not rule you. But everyone tackles it in a different way. There is no right or wrong way as long as the end result is sobriety

I don't think that I mentioned staying away from friends and family. But, when I sobered up my true friends having great respect for my sobriety, would not drink around me for a very long time. My wife also would not bring her wine back into our home for many months.

The so called friends that want a newly sobered up one to come out and party are not real friends. At least not friends who have a clue.

Some will think that they miss the old party life and party friends and that their lives are now boring. It seems that only when one realizes that they have escaped from the gates of hell that all settles down -- the war is over.

MM

Everyone's different I guess, so long as the end result is that we don't drink. In my case, most of the people I met at social events stayed sober, it was me that needed to alcohol in excess.

"When will my Program become my every day part of life ?"

Took a while for it all to make much sense this last time around sobering up. About all that I could do for three or four months was to go to a Monday thru Friday early morning AA meeting. And then after the meetings over to my Sponsors house for some deep study of the AA Big Book. A most informative reading for the one who wishes to recover. It was several months before I could see straight and concentrate. Yes, the wreckage done to mind, body and soul was devastating.

But, things do get better (if) we do not drink.

MM

I'm very happy in my first days of sobriety Because I'm feeling better every day and and realize I don't have to drink anymore.

I have had several days of sobriety over the years, a day here, weekend there, and was not content.
I was definitely not happy because I knew I was going back to the exhausting practice of drinking every day.

I stopped thinking about being sober around the 6 month mark, I became a lot more comfortable with being sober. At 2 years I relapsed.....maybe getting comfortable was the mistake I made. I took my off the wolf at the door and let him in without a fight.

At day 23 I finally accepted that alcohol is poison, does nothing and takes all.
I've never looked back. I'm not going that way.

Well done on 8+ years, very inspirational

I felt better as soon as I stopped drinking, however I'm still working on the "sobriety running smooth" concept. To me, sobriety isn't just not drinking. Bumps in my daily life are broken down like this. 10% of my life is filled with bumps and 90% is how I go about dealing with those bumps. The responsibility is mine. Alcohol was a problem for me but until I realized that it's silly to blame a liquid drug for my problems, there was to be no growth. I chose to drink, in spite of the problems my drinking caused and that's my fault. Not the fault of the alcohol. I had to learn to live in the solution (sobriety) and stop blaming the problem (alcohol). Sobriety is a journey, not a destination.:herewego

Yes, this is my situation. I am less than 4 months out - feel good, relationships with family are soooo much better = dad's not drunk!

However, there is much work to be done for a long time.
I have not really been tested - great point, yet. Basically I have sequestered myself from people and places I a know could be a bad idea.

I am hopeful the skill set and tools I am learning with carry me through as these tests arise. The Holiday's with family will definitely test me.

But, I take joy daily in this - the reflection of my despair I saw in the eyes of my immediate loved ones is gone - today. This I hold close. I like to think I am prepared, but until I go through it I cannot comment from a place of experience.

Today is all I have.

Great topic and great quote/post.
Peace

I'm not sure if it's about the amount of time you have or the way you look at things. I think it's a combination of time helping to give you the opportunity to see things differently.
The first time I got sober last year, I continued to go out with the old friends so that I wouldn't have that dreaded missing out feeling. After 7 months, I relapsed. Lots of factors were involved, but really I had put myself in a dangerous situation with alcohol readily available, and surrounded myself with people who doubted my addiction. I wanted to believe them and not the truth that I knew in my heart. Now I'm into my second attempt.
Over 10 months this time and it's been completely different than last year. My approach has shifted to more of a protective coarse of action toward myself, and my well being. I avoid all the old hangouts, and have cut out most of the old drinking friends. The few I keep in touch with are by phone only. I had to make life changes to feel like I have a solid chance this time. I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but I now feel comfortable in my own skin. I know I'm not missing out on the bar scene, and I now respect myself too much to think about bringing alcohol back into my life. Life is too precious. I have been in situations with family, friends, coworkers, and just drinking situations in general to know how to handle myself without drinking. I guess all of that probably took about 6 months at least. For every new situation that comes, I go into with a plan to not drink. I feel like if I let myself just float around without a plan, then that's when I could let my guard down and slip up. The key for me has been to change my way of looking at life. Clarity and sobriety are precious to me. And me being healthy is precious not only to me, but to my family.

Hey man, stay strong, remember what you said and don't forget about the "reflection of despair in the eyes of your loved ones" that now has gone

For me there have been waves. I got pretty excited and felt good for a while after 2 weeks, but then was up and down, almost like in a rapid cycling bipolar-ish pattern. Then I started taking an antidepressant, which made it worse so I stopped it. Now approaching 8 months, I feel pretty stable and good, much calmer also.

Even though I quit back in October 2013, it's not until the last few months that I've been able to embrace quitting. Sometimes it just takes me a while to get over things!

So my answer is around 9 - 10 months -- funny, just about how long it takes me to be okay after a break up.

It took me a good year to feel comfortable being sober. I was also
In my late teens at the time so normal life is still awkward at that age. I spent a few years playing 'catch up' being a 10th grade drop out, so first it was a GED then college a few years older than everyone else. Once I started my career, life just become life. I just don't drink.

Yea, this too. I suppose in my first post blaming a liquid poison that I have voluntarily drank over the years wasn't the best choice of words.
I know me drinking has caused me health, time management, productivity and family issues.

So I have stopped defending alcohol and stopped pretending my drinking wasn't undermining my life at every chance.