if I could be sober for JUST 30 days maybe God would let me in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: rapid city south dakota
Posts: 174
if I could be sober for JUST 30 days maybe God would let me in
Ive since taken the stance that THIS is my life until death...I haven't went over 2 wks..im thinking my life as a PERSON a INDIVIDUAL is meaningless...im nothing but a mascot...and mascots come and go.....a mascot for alcoholism "dont be like him" .
...dont be like me.
...dont be like me.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
I went to aa for support. I'm not saying that it's the only way to become sober but having good support around you makes the difference in my opinion. If, your friends and family are heavy drinkers I'd keep my distance from them for starters.
You're trying to do a 360 on your life style. It is a difficult thing to do but, the rewards of getting sober make the effort worth it.
You're trying to do a 360 on your life style. It is a difficult thing to do but, the rewards of getting sober make the effort worth it.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Not to oversimplify it, but if you stay sober today, and keep on staying sober for today, you'll soon have thirty days sober. It is possible. 
I didn't think I could stay sober but so far have been sober going on five years, so it can be done.
I didn't think I could stay sober but so far have been sober going on five years, so it can be done. Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Nocturnal, I'm gonna be harsh here, YOU don't have to accept this future!!
Your addiction is YOUR choice, but you choose to continue with it, you choose to continue to drink!!
The reality is, I don't think you care enough or want Sobriety enough to change, you are selling yourself short and that is why you put up with the way things are!!
The reality is you can change, everyone has the ability to be Sober, the resources are there, you just don't have the motivation to put in the work and the effort!! You are simply just comfortable with the way things are!!
You have to want to change!!
Your addiction is YOUR choice, but you choose to continue with it, you choose to continue to drink!!
The reality is, I don't think you care enough or want Sobriety enough to change, you are selling yourself short and that is why you put up with the way things are!!
The reality is you can change, everyone has the ability to be Sober, the resources are there, you just don't have the motivation to put in the work and the effort!! You are simply just comfortable with the way things are!!
You have to want to change!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Nocturnal you have so much more power than you realise, it takes work and it can be challenging, especially in the first 30 days.
If you choose to be the mascot for alcoholism you will be....."As the man thinketh"
That voice inside your head that feeds you compelling dribble to drink can also be challenged and shut and talked down...
Have you read AVRT, RA?..I found it wonderful in dealing with that voice in my head, the addictive voice, that voice that had me jumping in the car and driving me to the bottle shop...
SMART, AA, NA...all of these are great groups for support, especially in the early days of sobriety.
Keep posting here, talking helps..
If you choose to be the mascot for alcoholism you will be....."As the man thinketh"
That voice inside your head that feeds you compelling dribble to drink can also be challenged and shut and talked down...
Have you read AVRT, RA?..I found it wonderful in dealing with that voice in my head, the addictive voice, that voice that had me jumping in the car and driving me to the bottle shop...
SMART, AA, NA...all of these are great groups for support, especially in the early days of sobriety.
Keep posting here, talking helps..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
Nocturnal, I feel your pain. I could have written that before I came to SR. I even asked God how I could not be allowed into heaven for something that I could not control. I learned over time, I can control it. One day at a time, sometimes, one minute at a time, but they all string together, and one day you realize you are sober. You can do this. Don't ever give up.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA.....Hometown : Sioux Falls
Posts: 2,624
It sounds like you're having a really bad day. I don't have much more time than you and things really do change for the better if you give yourself a chance. I had those exact same thoughts the first 2 weeks. Why even bother I thought and I'm SO GLAD I didn't give in to those thoughts. I'm 65, no guy, no family except for 2 sons who rarely call, no grandkids. I live alone with 2 dogs isolated in the country with little $....and I' finally happy after 15 solid years of hell. My mind is being renewed and I hardly recognize myself. I feel good just doing nothing! If it can get better for old me....a whole new life is there for you. Take it!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Nocturnal,
that's just it; you've hit the nail on the top: THIS is your life until death.
this is it.
you don't HAVE to spend it drinking, or as a mascot.
in fact, if you tell yourself you're "just" a mascot, it's a lie. behind it all, this is your real life, passing minute by minute.
whatever God may or may not be, i don't think she/he/it/them/---/doles out rewards for being sober 30 days, or 29 days or 31. or 1094.
in a real way, being sober is its own reward.
you don't have to keep being like this; you can take your own example and not be like the mascot you describe yourself as.
there's a real person in there, and you know it and we know it.
if you're feeling like a shell, or a puppet, or all surface and pretense....we've all been there. if the feeling of meaninglessness and hollowness is severe, getting some help might be useful.
but stopping drinking and letting yourself experience the changes ongoing life sober can bring has a good chance of you seeing whole new possibilities for yourself.
you can do this.
that's just it; you've hit the nail on the top: THIS is your life until death.
this is it.
you don't HAVE to spend it drinking, or as a mascot.
in fact, if you tell yourself you're "just" a mascot, it's a lie. behind it all, this is your real life, passing minute by minute.
whatever God may or may not be, i don't think she/he/it/them/---/doles out rewards for being sober 30 days, or 29 days or 31. or 1094.
in a real way, being sober is its own reward.
you don't have to keep being like this; you can take your own example and not be like the mascot you describe yourself as.
there's a real person in there, and you know it and we know it.
if you're feeling like a shell, or a puppet, or all surface and pretense....we've all been there. if the feeling of meaninglessness and hollowness is severe, getting some help might be useful.
but stopping drinking and letting yourself experience the changes ongoing life sober can bring has a good chance of you seeing whole new possibilities for yourself.
you can do this.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi nocturnal. The twelve steps are a path to God, and thirty days is plenty of time to get them done and have that spiritual awakening. If you can't find a sponsor to help you, try a beginners class if one is running near you. They take the steps over four weeks. You can do it if you have a mind to.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
God will let you in anytime you want in Noc...but I think sometimes we get in our own way.
I was convinced of that too. It was Utter BS.
It took a *lot* of work and a *lot* of change and a *lot* of asking for help....but I changed my life.
You can too, I promise
ps you had two identical threads so I merged them
D
Ive since taken the stance that THIS is my life until death.
It took a *lot* of work and a *lot* of change and a *lot* of asking for help....but I changed my life.
You can too, I promise
ps you had two identical threads so I merged them
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
You belong here. You also deserve to live your life not just survive. Whatever your religious or spiritual beliefs you don't need to just get bye. You have all the tools inside you to live a beautiful and enriched life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by Nocturnal 
Ive since taken the stance that THIS is my life until death...I haven't went over 2 wks..im thinking my life as a PERSON a INDIVIDUAL is meaningless...im nothing but a mascot...and mascots come and go.....a mascot for alcoholism "dont be like him" .
...dont be like me.
...dont be like me.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Nocturnal
Ive since taken the stance that THIS is my life until death...I haven't went over 2 wks..im thinking my life as a PERSON a INDIVIDUAL is meaningless...
What you "DO" from this moment forward is all that matters. I am not talking about not-drinking either. That is not something that you "DO".
Rather I am talking about the actions that you take to further your recovery. Actions like;
Self-appraisal.
Sharing your experiences with others.
Asking for advice.
Following suggestions.
Being of service to others.
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