Hello and working on 3 days sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 174
Hello and working on 3 days sober
I've read here for a bit and I must say all the stories have really helped me. Thank you all whoever you are!
I finally admitted to myself after 15 years Im not the easy goin guy that likes his beer. I'm a drunkard, lush an alcoholic.
I drank what I am determined to be my last of alcohol 9-11-14 After 8 days of sobriety previously.
I functioned fine, never layed a hand on anyone, didn't miss work or family functions so I don't have a problem. Right?
I was still drunk though.
I consider myself fortunate that I have managed to hold a job and not get in legal troubles up to this point and thank God my wife has stayed with me.
I'm tired. Tired of spending money on it. Tired of feeling like crap. Tired of not remembering what happy felt like and most importantly tired of being a slave to drinking.
Thanks for reading and have a great day!
I finally admitted to myself after 15 years Im not the easy goin guy that likes his beer. I'm a drunkard, lush an alcoholic.
I drank what I am determined to be my last of alcohol 9-11-14 After 8 days of sobriety previously.
I functioned fine, never layed a hand on anyone, didn't miss work or family functions so I don't have a problem. Right?
I was still drunk though.
I consider myself fortunate that I have managed to hold a job and not get in legal troubles up to this point and thank God my wife has stayed with me.
I'm tired. Tired of spending money on it. Tired of feeling like crap. Tired of not remembering what happy felt like and most importantly tired of being a slave to drinking.
Thanks for reading and have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by pulltight 
I'm tired. Tired of spending money on it. Tired of feeling like crap. Tired of not remembering what happy felt like and most importantly tired of being a slave to drinking.
so as to take full advantage of this site
welcome
MM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I finally admitted to myself after 15 years Im not the easy goin guy that likes his beer. I'm a drunkard, lush an alcoholic.
That being said I didnt realize I was not that easy going guy till after I quit. I always thought i was an easy going laid back guy then I quit and had to learn how to live with myself.
Not saying that will happen to you but your words struck a nerve. Many times I think gosh i used to be so laid back so easy going then I have to remind myself yeah well because i was drunk or comotose from being drunk all the time *sigh*.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Good for you pulltight!
Similar circumstances to mine - You have discovered the great truth = doesn't matter what your motivation/bottom is, an alcoholic is an alcoholic. You are among the fortunate to understand this it appears.
" many pursue this insane thought to the gates of death....that they may drink like a normal man....."
Glad your back among the living!!! It's joyous, quickly - by grace.
peace
Similar circumstances to mine - You have discovered the great truth = doesn't matter what your motivation/bottom is, an alcoholic is an alcoholic. You are among the fortunate to understand this it appears.
" many pursue this insane thought to the gates of death....that they may drink like a normal man....."
Glad your back among the living!!! It's joyous, quickly - by grace.
peace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by zjw
your story sounds like mine I never had much issue short of the types of things you describe. Of course in the end in my case iw as dealing with chronic panic and anxiety.
That being said I didnt realize I was not that easy going guy till after I quit. I always thought i was an easy going laid back guy then I quit and had to learn how to live with myself.
Not saying that will happen to you but your words struck a nerve. Many times I think gosh i used to be so laid back so easy going then I have to remind myself yeah well because i was drunk or comotose from being drunk all the time *sigh*.
That being said I didnt realize I was not that easy going guy till after I quit. I always thought i was an easy going laid back guy then I quit and had to learn how to live with myself.
Not saying that will happen to you but your words struck a nerve. Many times I think gosh i used to be so laid back so easy going then I have to remind myself yeah well because i was drunk or comotose from being drunk all the time *sigh*.
Yea, being inebriated sure does make for a laid back cat.
I'm still trying to understand why I let myself go this far. I believe anxiety is the top reason for me because I worry about trivial things, or maybe I developed anxiety issues along the way drinking. Not sure but this is where I landed.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
I believe anxiety is the top reason for me because I worry about trivial things, or maybe I developed anxiety issues along the way drinking. Not sure but this is where I landed.
I began to have panic and anxiety attacks.
Usually just after a night's drinking.
And of course the easy answer was to drink more.
Which worked.
And I don't know which came first, the drink problem or the anxiety problem.
I dealt with the anxiety issue through CBT.
But I had to be sober while doing it.
Good luck, my friend.
There's a million years experience on this forum.
Stick around and tap into it.
You'll find lots of support here. 
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