christofbe

hello newbie here,

i am just so scared now... i have just called for some help because i cannot take it anymore.
I suffer from social anxiety and recently i am just lost, so depressed and all alone. I quitted my last job because of the horrible schedule and now since one week, i have started to drink again heavily to kill my boredom. I am so bored , all the time alone by myself, i cannot change now, it is too late, ... i am 27 yo, approaching 28 and my life is just a total disaster, even my parents dont know me ... nobody seems to bother knowing me, ...
i came randomly over those medical stuff saying that alcohol can kill... i am so afraid now because i drink literally one litter of vodka/day ... it is Huge, and i dont even lose control over myself, i am just tipsy and sleepy at the end, so back to bed and the next day i do the same again and again... it has been one week now, i have called up for a counselor because i am sure my liver is in bad condition or will be in the future... i am gonna die form a ******* cancer thanks to my miserable situation... i wish i could fix it up right now... but still drinking ...

Willdoit

Well you are posting here that's a positive,

christofbe

i am just so scared of the quantity i drink every day. one liter of vodka is huge cannot be more harmful i guess... what is wrong with me and my body to allow me drinking that much.

Mags1

Hi, I'm glad you found this forum, a lot of people can help you, if you want help.

It might be worth a visit to your doctor, let them know you want to stop drinking. He can help you with the medical side of it.

Just realise the more you drink the more you will want so a bottle of vodka a night won't be enough, I know , I was the same with wine, I had to drink more and more to get the same results, passed out on sofa.

christofbe

i called up this morning the health center, just wait for the appointment, i just need to get a proper therapy because my case is deeper than just alcoholism i know i need to consult for my social anxiety as well which is the root of everything, i remember the first time i sought help, they gave me those meds which worked fab for me ... but i messed it up at the end ... and came back to my habits ... what is life if u don"t function normally without any drugs... whats wrong seriously.

chicory

Christofbe,

Welcome to SR! I am not an alcoholic but I have a qualifying family member. so that's why I am here. I want to say that you seem to be in that perfect place where you are ready to quit! This is what it's like for lots of alcoholics, and its what helped them to decide to quit- being scared, lonely , and miserable.
you are in the right place. many understand, and you do not have to be lonely, because there will always be support for you here... just stick around, and keep posting.

good you are going to the doctor! You will be able to get your multiple issues addressed... there are many alcoholics who have different issues, along with the inability to quit drinking. many drink because of anxieties, and such.
good that you know that drinking will NOT fix these things for you... it just makes you more miserable.

We are here.... and understand.

Ghostlight1

Hello and welcome.
A liter a day is a lot for anyone. So, you may want to check with your doctor or counselor about quitting.
It can be done. I was a raving drunk before I quit and no one would have believed it possible.
Now, I think back on those days and come here and read posts like yours as a reminder of what it's like 'out there'.
Best to you and please keep us updated and feel free to post away.

Soberwolf

hello

GreenColor

Christofbe, You're drinking about the same amount that I was drinking. I experienced the kindling effect from multiple detoxes, and the last time landed me in the hospital for several days taking many drugs and having my vitals checked every 2 hours and being locked to a bed because I was a "fall risk". I got out of the bed anyway though several times.

This won't necessarily happen to you or anything, but it's probably better to go through that than have a seizure and split your head open on the corner of a table.

Anna

A lot of us have underlying mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. You can find your way out of the hole you find yourself in. Yes, it will be necessary to stop drinking and you will likely need to make other changes in your life. Constant boredom is not a good situation for anyone.

I hope you talk to your dr. Please know that it can be dangerous to detox from alcohol.

Soberpotamus

Welcome, hope you do keep posting and reading. There is help available, and you can get sober. Many of us have issues such as anxiety and have gotten sober and are working through things. Glad you are here

Dee74

There's some really great advice here christofbe

Do keep posting - and welcome to SR

D

ChiefBromden

There are some excellent (and virtually free) treatment centres where you live, in which you can safely detox and get professional help. Please talk to your doc, be open about your problems. It can be done, so please consider it.

christofbe

Thanks for the support .... I know that it is miserable to live like that ... I should be living normally like the majority of my comrades but it is not the case and my situation is so desperate ... I was meant to work and live normally , I have a degree but despite it, my anxiety has taken its tolls and it is like a no escape now, being forced to take ****** jobs, I am like a shadow , cannot express my sentiment , being cursed for the rest of my life... I had seen a shrink before who didn't even bother asking me why I was drinking ... Because I am so weak .

Dee74

I don't think you're weak...addiction is something else entirely

D

least

Welcome to the family. Please ask your doctor for help in quitting drinking. It is hard to do but can be done.

BackToSquareOne

Many people use alcohol to self treat anxiety, depression and other issues. It does work for a very brief period of time but the alcohol wears off and those things get even worse. Now you have withdrawal/detox going on which drives you to drink even more to ease the symptoms. It locks the drinker into a self perpetuatink nightmare. Many have traveled that same road, not always easy but you can break the cycle for good.

2muchpain

IMO, anyone drinking that much alcohol should seriously consider going to a detox or treatment center. At the least, make sure you see your doctor before trying to detox. Not trying to scare you, but detoxing is no joke.

Also, quitting drinking has little to do with strength and a lot more to do with support. Walking into a detox center would be a great start!!

Stay safe, John

andyroo72

Hey christofbe,

Welcome! I'm kinda new here too, that's the first time I've said that, I must feel like I belong :=]

I hope things aren't too grim for you at the moment. I have major anxiety/ depression/ PTSD stuff, too. For me, stopping drinking has made all that so much easier to live with. I guess it's maybe not apparent, but drinking that much uses up a hell of a lot of energy. I've been dry nearly 3 months and for the first time I've actually got enough energy to (mostly) manage my own head.

The first few days are totally rugged and I really think you should get some medical help for your own safety. But hang in there- after you detox and start noticing the positive changes the world will look like a different place. (Sorry if that's too preachy) Take care and keep posting, especially when things are s**t.

SimplyNothing

You're not weak Christofbe... your mind or life is just not where you'd like it to be. :/ I know how you feel in that regard. I also think alcohol makes us feel weaker than we are. A liter of alcohol isn't helping anything. You should go to the doctor. You're still alive, which means there's still hope. And it doesn't sound like you have much hope or faith in the drink anymore... Which is good. I've realized drink is a nasty liar.

Best wishes,
SN