Mountainmanbob

Was not sure exactly where to put this so I thought it might be best in Stories of Recovery.

Now sober for almost seven years and looking back at a long hard life of drinking and using I have been wondering how many times in my life someone told me that I should stop or slow down on my drinking. I find this thought to be interesting as the numbers add up in my head and I'm sure that there are many that I will never remember.

At my age in life 63 it would only be a guess because the list seems to be a very long one and I am sure that not all are coming to mind -- at this time.

And why would I think this to be an important thread ? Well it seems that I came complacent many times before when I was sober. Today for me remembering these types of things keeps it fresh in my mind -- Bob you are a (Recovered alcoholic) let's keep it that way and let's not forget the past which you prayed for an escape from.

Mountainman

Dee74

As this is not really a personal story of recovery, and as the Stories of Recovery forum doesn't allow responses, I moved this here

D

Dee74

I didn't count them Bob but I had a good decade of people pleading, cajoling, bullying and telling me to stop so I went for the maximum number you've allowed.

Drowning in self pity I declared noone understood me and what I dealt with - or so I thought...and I kept drinking....

D

desypete

i went for the maximum number as i really can not remember how many people told me to quit drinking or how many people loved me sober but couldnt understand why i became such a pain in the butt when drunk etc

i can remember one of my daughters pleading with me to not drink and her tears when i came home with a full case of large cans
i remember me telling her its all ok and not to worry
she was just 13 years old back then she knew better than me just what that drink would do to her dad : (

jdooner

Don't think I was ever told

GracieLou

I was never told to stop drinking.

I was told I was an alcoholic which I agreed with BUT I was in denial and believed I was a functioning alcoholic so I didn't qualify!

KateL

I've lost count. x

jdooner

But my guess is it was not someone telling you that prompted you to quit. For those that remain recovered this is an inside job. Whether zero or 100, its about when I was sick of being sick. In that one moment in time my entire life and the direction changed. Staying quit, well that is an entirely different story but it all comes back to that moment of realizing enough is enough.

huntingtontx

No one told me, most did not know. I was an at home drinker. The few that did know never saw it as a problem, but I have known for a long time that it was a problem. I was losing so much of my life, not remembering the evenings. So glad to be sober, so if know one tells you to quit, quit anyway. Life is so much better without alcohol.

Fly N Buy

My wife would tell me several times a month....you have gotten to the point of drinking everyday. Like that was the yardarm. I suppose it's a measure though.....

Long before that whether I drank daily or every other day it was always to excess. But I am not sure anyone, remarkably enough, empathically stated to me you need to stop drinking.

Of course, I told Myself that over 50 times I am sure!

Soberpotamus

I was told many times to slow down or cut back by friends in college. My grandparents practically begged me to quit drinking - many, many times. Oddly, I don't recall my mom or dad asking me to quit. My mom was an alcoholic, and my parents divorced when I was three years old, so I'm sure my dad didn't feel it his "place" to tell me what to do after age eighteen anyway, since we were never really close. And I am not sure he knew how bad my drinking actually was. I was reprimanded once by an employer. And my last boyfriend (before I met my husband) is a daily drinker who told me numerous times to cut back and to quit. My husband begged me over and over, heartbreaking really. He married me knowing I was a problem drinker. I think he believed one day I'd be ok. I don't want to let him down either.

But ultimately, I quit when I was ready to quit.

LBrain

over 50? how about over a thousand?

Mirage74

I was never really told. Maybe a few times by healthcare professionals. When I used to drink with others, they were drinking as much as me, so no one told anyone to stop drinking. My family, on the other hand, has known about, and turned a blind eye to, my drinking problem for years. I don't know if that constitutes denial or just mindful indifference. Either way it cuts deep. I wish just once someone had shown concern and asked me to stop drinking.

heartcore

I was never told to quit drinking. Actually, I've gotten a lot of confused and stunned feedback from work peers and family about going to AA (I live in a small town, and have been spotted on occasion entering the rooms).

This "community support" confused me, in turn. The AV which narrated my decision to relapse this year used all those comments as fuel.

I'm one of those alcoholics who has never had "real-world" consequences for my drinking - no DUIs, no jail time, no lost jobs. My consumption would likely appear to be "moderate drinking" for many of those I've met in sobriety.

None of that matters. Alcohol feeds the unhappy parts of my being - the loneliness, the rage, the compulsivity. Sobriety feeds my growing, alive heart. My decision to live sober is fully motivated by my absolutely personal decision to be my highest self.

As an afterthought - I also realize that the lack of any negative feedback about my drinking implies that no one close to me is really engaged or attentive to the "subtleties of me." Huh.

heartcore

PS - Or it could just mean that I live in Alaska, where alcoholism reigns powerful and supreme, an actual character in the vast landscape...

CAPTAINZING2000

Not exactly sure how many times.
I did distance myself from the people that told me I needed to quit drinking.

aasharon90

During my drinking career, I don't recall
anyone telling me I had to stop drinking
or had a drinking problem except, maybe
a minister when he was asked by my in
laws to come pay me a visit in the hospital
after I hit a concrete culvert sitting on
top the ground, sending me to the hospital
for 10 days with a punctured spleen, many
broken ribs, bones, contusions.

I remember him coming to see me
but don't recall or remember the
conversation.

That happened in Feb. 1990, then
after I healed nicely, I returned back
to the same place I drank and drove
home drunk from in August 1990.

That very day I wanted to end my
miserable life. August 11,1990 was
my first full day sober and the beginning
of my recovery journey in which im
still traveling some 24 yrs later.

Soberwolf

like Dee i cant really say

in the 3 months of trying to stop it was constant

before that my gf maybe asked once twice after my first mtn she literally broke down in tears saying she had no idea she thought i was just a big drinker looking back it was obvious

i love being sober with all my heart

gaffo

I don't remember anyone telling me to quit but I remember a few comments that could be so interpreted. "Uncle drinks too much beer" "Gaffo always drinks beer at the wrong time" "You always have a beer in your hand" "You're drinking now?"

I did tell myself that I needed to quit many times.

RobbyRobot

I was told I had good enough reasons to drink. They would too if they were me was told more than a few times. How illuminating is that? I guess it really comes down to the crowd one hangs with when drinking like I drank.

Bikers. Gang members. Pushers. Street bums. And just everyday guys having a drink in some dive or strip club. I also drank in my college pub too for a few seasons. Drank with my professors more than once. Different kind of folk there on some levels, but no less alcoholic though for many. Fast friends one and all, lol. Even family members thought quitting wasn't really going to work well for me. They mostly saw me doing the suicide thing sooner or later anyways, you know? Even in my final quit which has lasted years now, my brother came to visit me while I was yet a week in rehab and we did lunch and he bought me a beer. I refused it. Says it all right there. Loved ones? I was too lost in my alcoholism to know much about love...

My therapists told me to not drink. Did they love me?

I didn't vote.