Petewill

hello fellow recovery people.
I have almost 15 months sober.. anyway, new management came and I got let go from my design job over a month ago. i think i shared this before. I have went on 3 interviews in the last 2.5 weeks and got rejected by them all(i guess my skill-set isn't up to par). the humiliation of losing the last job, plus (still) being single (it's like I don't even exist to them anymore) , and just feeling like **** all the time - because of those things, I have really slid down psychologically the last 2 days or so. I tried to stay up and not get negative, but damn.. also, I play music for fun, and that's not even fun right now. I have even been going to the gym 4 times a week, sometimes 5.... I attend meetings almost 5 week and have a sponsor, now getting ready to do step 6. man, these situations are hard to deal with right now... . also, take anti-depressants too. I have been romanticizing a drink lately, thinking what's the use at this point.. but I am actually scared where it would take me again, plus my kids..(they don't live with me, but I get them every other weekend..) what a mess.. feeling like a complete loser in every aspect of life.. i swear every time I post on here it's always some drama and self-pity.. I am going to a meeting shortly.. thanks for reading..

Dee74

I probably have asked this before...

Have you got a counsellor Pete or ever thought of getting one?

D

Petewill

Hi Dee.. Yeah, I see a shrink every two months - maybe I should seek a counselor....

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear things aren't going so well Pete. It's hard to stay positive in times like this, but it's actually the most important time to do so. You have marketable skills and you will find a job in time. Don't be afraid to apply in fields outside your main skilset either, you can always learn and a new challenge can be a good thing. Glad you are heading to a meeting, because of any choice you could make today, drinking would be the absolute worst one. It's easy to romanticize the good feelings we had sometimes when drinking, but we conveniently forget all the bad that comes with it. Get to the meeting, get things off your chest here and give it your best shot again tomorrow.

aasharon90

Don't lose hope. Continue doing,

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Which means doing the most important
thing on your list first each day.

Keep recovery important and foremost,
family, Faith and honest.

Keep reading about the Promises
that is written in our Big Book
and believe they will come true.

Also remember that things will happen
in our HP's time and not ours and continue
to turn your will and life over to Him and
you will be in Good Hands.

This is how it has and still continues to
work for me for over 24 yrs.

jdooner

Step 6 is a prayer after the 2nd part of step #5. Step seven is done immediately after. Step 8 was done in your step #5 and just make a list for step 9 to setup amends. Then you have completed your step work and live in the steps 10-12.

You sponsor has either not read the book or not gone through the steps properly if he has you stalled on step #6.

SIXTH STEP PRAYER: Dear God, I am ready for Your help in removing from me the defects of character which I now realize are an obstacle to my recovery. Help me to continue being honest with myself and guide me toward mental and spiritual health.

SEVENTH STEP PRAYER: My Creator, I am now willing that You have all of me, good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do Your bidding.

zjw

yeah if you drink you'll have a few more problems. Also I'd imagine its probably not in the budget of course the AV will work hard to tell you its no biggie.

My advice would be to keep doing what you are doing because those are all good things. But when you hit these low points realize whats going on and at that point go for a walk find a distraction of sorts It will help you take your mind off things. I know when I was out of work I read a lot of books. Sure i had my moments like the one your having now. But i also read so many books and learned a lot etc.. it made me feel good gave me a sense of self worth and while reading I didnt give a damn that i was out of work or bombed that last interview etc it took my mind off things.

Petewill

thanks for all of the valuable insight and advice..

SimplyNothing

Hey man... I've just been reading on here for a while, but I really wanna let you know that things are for sure gonna get better, and that drinking, would start off maybe giving you a pleasant buzz...

And then I can promise you that it's all downhill from there. I've been where you are... Likely still am how low I get about stuff sometimes. Life's hard... but alcohol is a terrible liar, and only makes things exponentially harder.

Don't drink man. Try to see it's not worth it.

God Bless man. Im gonna go back to lurking now.