Why can't I stop?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Edmonton, Canada
Posts: 23
Why can't I stop?
I've posted before here about quitting, I'm very appreciative of the stories I've read, and yet I sit here finishing off a Mickey. What is wrong with me? Why can't I stop...a Mickey should be enough for me to realize this is a serious problem. I'm tired of wasting my life away. I'm 24 and don't want this life. What was your breaking point? I've done a lot of stupid/dangerous things while drunk but apparently that's not enough of a scare for me
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 219
Unfortunately the path to sobriety isn't exactly the same for everyone and what works great for one person could be bad advice for another. Two equally addicted alcoholics could even have drastically different drinking patterns. Some alcoholics are sober all day and then get smashed in the evening and others may not even like getting drunk but keep a steady buzz going all day.
I'm still in early recovery, not an expert or anything, but I see it this way--One part of your brain is going to keep telling you to drink, regardless of horrible consequences you go through. That's alcoholism. You need to have another part of your brain telling you not to drink and it needs to be stronger. You can build up a good set of defences by making sobriety your highest priority every day, getting educated about alcoholism, spending a lot of time EVERY day working against your addiction. Working against it means doing anti-alcohol things like reading this board, writing and reviewing a personal list of reasons you don't want to drink, getting involved in a recovery program, etc.
You may have to spend literally hours fighting this thing each day at first but think of the hours you waste drinking.
All alcoholics feel hopeless at some point, but you are not
I'm still in early recovery, not an expert or anything, but I see it this way--One part of your brain is going to keep telling you to drink, regardless of horrible consequences you go through. That's alcoholism. You need to have another part of your brain telling you not to drink and it needs to be stronger. You can build up a good set of defences by making sobriety your highest priority every day, getting educated about alcoholism, spending a lot of time EVERY day working against your addiction. Working against it means doing anti-alcohol things like reading this board, writing and reviewing a personal list of reasons you don't want to drink, getting involved in a recovery program, etc.
You may have to spend literally hours fighting this thing each day at first but think of the hours you waste drinking.
All alcoholics feel hopeless at some point, but you are not
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
I was able to stop when I finally accepted that I could no longer drink with control. By "accepted", I mean I accepted it with my mind and every fiber of my being that drinking was no longer an option--or least not an option if I wanted to live a happy, rich and rewarding life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Don't you just wish you wanted to want to quit? I hung there a long time. Wishing I wanted to. But I didn't. Sometimes even now I don't want to. But I just keep on, hour by hour, day by day. You'll know when you've had enough. I have found , after my relapses, once it get a day clean, my hope really soars. Keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 244
Because as addicts, we have numbed pleasure responses to things other than our crutches. This means that we cannot feel normal everyday things which are supposed to make us feel good. If we stop for a time, these every day small pleasures will begin to return. You can do it. I suggest eating proper (make sure you get all vitamins, and minerals, suppliment, protein.) And exercise!
I have not had a drink in over 2 weeks, and am off heroin for 2 weeks, meth for 4 months, cigarettes for 4 months and morphine for 2 weeks. I am currently using pot, because for me it's the least harmful. I'm going to take at least a break from it in awhile, but I'm not ready yet.
Good luck! You can absolutely do this.
I have not had a drink in over 2 weeks, and am off heroin for 2 weeks, meth for 4 months, cigarettes for 4 months and morphine for 2 weeks. I am currently using pot, because for me it's the least harmful. I'm going to take at least a break from it in awhile, but I'm not ready yet.
Good luck! You can absolutely do this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
What support do you have? or are you doing this on sheer will power?
I found without support that alone with my own thoughts would always lead to drinking, the reason being is I wanted to drink and my mind was telling me I could drink, and so it was an inevitable conclusion!!
Instead we need to build in a support structure, people around us whether it's here on SR or through meetings, something to break that cycle of actions and thought processes!!
Something needs to change for the results to change!!
You can do this!
I found without support that alone with my own thoughts would always lead to drinking, the reason being is I wanted to drink and my mind was telling me I could drink, and so it was an inevitable conclusion!!
Instead we need to build in a support structure, people around us whether it's here on SR or through meetings, something to break that cycle of actions and thought processes!!
Something needs to change for the results to change!!
You can do this!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by timeforchange78 
What is wrong with me?
Originally Posted by timeforchange78
Why can't I stop
Originally Posted by timeforchange78
I've done a lot of stupid/dangerous things while drunk but apparently that's not enough of a scare for me.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Edmonton, Canada
Posts: 23
Thank you all so much for your replies. I'm determined and ready to stop. I've learned I can't have just "one" drink. One turns into 4 turns into 8 and more. Ugh. Too bad I can't be a social drinker. Oh well, unfortunately some people like myself cannot control their drinks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Originally Posted by timeforchange78
I've posted before here about quitting, I'm very appreciative of the stories I've read, and yet I sit here finishing off a Mickey. What is wrong with me? Why can't I stop...a Mickey should be enough for me to realize this is a serious problem. I'm tired of wasting my life away. I'm 24 and don't want this life. What was your breaking point? I've done a lot of stupid/dangerous things while drunk but apparently that's not enough of a scare for me
You cant stop because you are an alcoholic. You cant even drink a drop of alcohol.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Ironically, my breaking point was realizing I was never go to stop drinking on my own resources. I simply didn't care enough to care enough, you know? Dying appealed to me on many levels. Dying drunk not so much. Such a shaming thing my alcoholism was to me. A real monster.
I gave up fighting with myself and finally sought others like me who had success in quitting. This came about in rehab and AA fellowship and meetings. This new kind of caring allowed for me to learn the program and to keep my original unbreakable vow to myself I would never again drink after seeking help from my peers.
Its amazing what goodness can come from sober drunks caring for one another. Sharing is caring.
Reach out. Quit for its own sake. Help others help you stay quit. Learn about sobriety. Give back to others. Get on with living without alcohol.
I gave up fighting with myself and finally sought others like me who had success in quitting. This came about in rehab and AA fellowship and meetings. This new kind of caring allowed for me to learn the program and to keep my original unbreakable vow to myself I would never again drink after seeking help from my peers.
Its amazing what goodness can come from sober drunks caring for one another. Sharing is caring.
Reach out. Quit for its own sake. Help others help you stay quit. Learn about sobriety. Give back to others. Get on with living without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 215
My experience was that I could stop but couldn't stay stopped.
I would either think "it will be different this time" or I'd get in such an emotional tangle that booze was the only reliable relief.
Fighting against the urge to drink didn't work... I had to surrender., throw in the towel is a good way of putting it. Just like getting punched half to death by a bigger stronger boxer. Booze whipped me so bad, it was chuck in the towel or fight to the death.
Which sounds melodramatic but that's where I ended up.... Thinking about a jump.
I have a beautiful wife and four gorgeous kids, I know what it's like to have everything that should make you happy but on a deep internal level, being unhappy at best and eventually downright miserable.
. Everyone feels pain, but the alcoholic knows but one way to mask it.
Pain is inevitable but misery is optional.
There is a way out.
Seek help now, because in my experience it will get worse, the drinking and the internal emotional pain, that is.
I would either think "it will be different this time" or I'd get in such an emotional tangle that booze was the only reliable relief.
Fighting against the urge to drink didn't work... I had to surrender., throw in the towel is a good way of putting it. Just like getting punched half to death by a bigger stronger boxer. Booze whipped me so bad, it was chuck in the towel or fight to the death.
Which sounds melodramatic but that's where I ended up.... Thinking about a jump.
I have a beautiful wife and four gorgeous kids, I know what it's like to have everything that should make you happy but on a deep internal level, being unhappy at best and eventually downright miserable.
. Everyone feels pain, but the alcoholic knows but one way to mask it.
Pain is inevitable but misery is optional.
There is a way out.
Seek help now, because in my experience it will get worse, the drinking and the internal emotional pain, that is.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Arvada co
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by lovesymphony
Unfortunately the path to sobriety isn't exactly the same for everyone and what works great for one person could be bad advice for another. Two equally addicted alcoholics could even have drastically different drinking patterns. Some alcoholics are sober all day and then get smashed in the evening and others may not even like getting drunk but keep a steady buzz going all day.
I'm still in early recovery, not an expert or anything, but I see it this way--One part of your brain is going to keep telling you to drink, regardless of horrible consequences you go through. That's alcoholism. You need to have another part of your brain telling you not to drink and it needs to be stronger. You can build up a good set of defences by making sobriety your highest priority every day, getting educated about alcoholism, spending a lot of time EVERY day working against your addiction. Working against it means doing anti-alcohol things like reading this board, writing and reviewing a personal list of reasons you don't want to drink, getting involved in a recovery program, etc.
You may have to spend literally hours fighting this thing each day at first but think of the hours you waste drinking.
All alcoholics feel hopeless at some point, but you are not
I'm still in early recovery, not an expert or anything, but I see it this way--One part of your brain is going to keep telling you to drink, regardless of horrible consequences you go through. That's alcoholism. You need to have another part of your brain telling you not to drink and it needs to be stronger. You can build up a good set of defences by making sobriety your highest priority every day, getting educated about alcoholism, spending a lot of time EVERY day working against your addiction. Working against it means doing anti-alcohol things like reading this board, writing and reviewing a personal list of reasons you don't want to drink, getting involved in a recovery program, etc.
You may have to spend literally hours fighting this thing each day at first but think of the hours you waste drinking.
All alcoholics feel hopeless at some point, but you are not
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 215
One thing that might be handy to know is that alcoholic drinkers process alcohol different to normal social drinkers... Our bodies crave more and more.
It's nothing to be ashamed about, your body is like that, just the same as someone with a peanut allergy is not at fault..... Your born that way, it's not something that you asked for.
The difference is, someone with peanut allergy doesn't think the next time they eat peanuts they will get a different result. The alcoholic brain tells us it will be different or less severe, very occasionally it will be, but in the majority of occasions that we drink, we have little or no control over how much we drink, due to the cravings.
It's nothing to be ashamed about, your body is like that, just the same as someone with a peanut allergy is not at fault..... Your born that way, it's not something that you asked for.
The difference is, someone with peanut allergy doesn't think the next time they eat peanuts they will get a different result. The alcoholic brain tells us it will be different or less severe, very occasionally it will be, but in the majority of occasions that we drink, we have little or no control over how much we drink, due to the cravings.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
I'm younger then you and coming up on 8 months on the 27th. It can be done at your age, but you have to want being sober more then drinking. My breaking point was my second inpatient detox in 3-4 months. I left the first time still holding onto the drink and it didn't take long before I was drinking and drinking everyday in my old pattern. I promised myself if my "moderation" or "normal" drinking experiment failed (which I knew it would, and did) I'd move on with my life and make the changes I needed to stay away from alcohol. I'm holding myself to that promise.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
My health had deteriorated unexpectedly after I had been well for a while - bit of a delayed reaction I think I'm sure it wouldn't have happened, had I not drunk into my mid forties. But luckily I'm better. It is scary so please give quitting a go xxxx
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