Soberwolf

I always find it strange that people can forget they are alcoholic

Or forget they can't be recovered from an incurable disease/illness

By thinking I'll be alright now !!!!!

Just would love to hear some feedback from those that have prolonged sobriety of a year or more to help me understand better

I'm not talking about personal tradgedy I'm talking of those that say things like in case i forget I'm alcoholic or I forgot i was alcoholic or from those who thought they were cured and got sober again to tell the tale

I will never forget i am an alcoholic and any sharing will help me strengthen my resolve

Thanks guys

Altoids

I can see how the AV can persuade me to believing I'm okay now and then justify that "fact" by showing how so and so was a heavy drinker and can drink moderately now. Ugh. . .my AV has tripped me a few times. I have to remember that it lies. I'm guessing that they don't really forget their alcoholic. They are just succumbing to the AV lies. It is a tricky, insidious little b@st@rd.

desypete

i went for 15 years after aa thinking and beliving i was ok, as i had a good job i started up my own buisness and worked all the hours in the world i chased money and made money all my life became was money and i did make a lot of money
15 years later i picked up the drink again just to test out if one drink would set off that craving, so i got my drink and drank it and then went home
i thought to myself that was ok i didnt end up in the police cells i didnt smash the home up i behaved myself and enjoyed it

so i went to the bar the next time and this time i tired just 2 drinks and went home yippe i thought this is good i can drink again
i went out new years eve with my ex wife and we had the time of our lives i had 4 drinks that night and went home singing full of happiness etc

i honestly thought i had cracked it there is a part in aa big book in chapter 3 were its says if anyone can go out and drink like a gentlemen our hats our off to him
that was me i thought of all the old aa memebers and they would have to take there hats off to me : )

8 years later of course it was a different tale i lost the business, i lost all the money, my 2 smaller kids were taken away and put into foster care home i ended up in prison a few times with my drunken sprees i ended up flat broke and with nothing other than a flat that was given to me by a hostal run organiztion

all thanks to picking up that first drink and me believing i was cured and could do it on my own
i know different today and my life has turned around with me getting the kids back out of care and being a single parent dad i have work, i have some money, but most of all i am sober and its 10 years now. i dont ever want to go back again, i will never be cured of it as its always going to be there if i should pick up that first drink

LastMistake

I think, rather than forget, because I was born of a family tree of alcoholics, I chose to ignore it. Otherwise I'd have to face the truth, which was never as easy as picking up a bottle.

PurpleKnight

I think it takes a while for people to realise that they even have a problem, they know they drink a lot and it causes problems in their life but don't attribute the word "alcoholic" to themselves, and so after a period of time when all the negative consequences of drinking are a distant memory, having not admitted that there was a real problem in the first place can lead to opening that door of drinking once again!!

I went round in circles on the "moderation experiment" for a long time, convincing myself, I had this cracked now, or alcohol isn't going to beat me at this, things will be different, all the lies and myths of the day and unless I had support or other people to tell me any different, there was only going to be one outcome!!

Support is so important for a 2nd opinion on things, without it we can convince ourselves of anything in isolation!!

Soberwolf

Thank you so much

I haven't had that voice and I've told myself from the day I admitted i was alcoholic that I won't be able to drink responsibly ever again it made logical sense that it was for life and in 3 months of trying i did so from hell itself

I've been told I have an iron resolve

I've told such people iron has a melting point and if I start thinking I'll be OK then I've started to heat my alcohism up

Just trying to stay sober is hard work but worthwhile 13 months ago I was delivered from my own worst hell and somehow lived this is and will be my only long term shot at sobriety (my previous in them 3 months was 18 days)


It has to be like that for me I know there will be bad days awful in fact but if I stay sober I win

My past drinking has made me so feel so ashamed of myself and I'm trying desperately to find a meaning to life

Sometimes its hard but I hang in there

Soberwolf

Experiments I did that failed every time i can't drink responsible I look weird trying to be a 'normal' drinker so wasn't wort it

Glad i saw the light

IOAA2

HI. Deseypetes story is fairly common at AA meetings. I’m fortunate that I have not tested that thinking process.
I often say we must be honest with our self about our drinking and accept that we cannot drink in safety again.
Part of the problem is we forget the pain and anxiety that got us to surrender trying to beat drinking. After quite a few years sober it’s still work involving staying sober, nowhere near as much as in the beginning but still work in progress.
Another requirement for many is changing the person who drank to escape so many things in their life. It takes time and too many try to rush it to no avail.
The bottom line is we just don’t drink even if………………………….

BE WELL

Nevertheless

I never had a problem remembering I was an alcoholic. But I did always have a problem remembering just why it was I stopped. My mind blocks out the bad things that happen,and only remembers the part about the first 2 or 3 drinks. Not the part that happens after that.
I have been sober over 5 years now,and I still keep the beer that was next in line from the night i quit right by my TV set. I look at that beer every day so I don't forget the hell I was going through. So I don't forget the fact that I wanted to quit every day,but I couldn't stop.
I heard a phrase at an AA meeting once.
When it comes to booze,our remberers are broken. But our forgetters work just fine.

Fred

fini

I always find it strange that people can forget they are alcoholic

Or forget they can't be recovered from an incurable disease/illness

By thinking I'll be alright now !!!!!

Soberwolf,

i haven't ever forgotten i'm an alcoholic. i haven't forgotten i'm a drunk since the day i saw i was a drunk.
before that, i thought i had a problem with alcohol. and this problem i was bound and determined to control and manage. so when i quit oodles of times, i also returned to drinking oodles of times. not because i'd forgotten, but because i didn't believe that i couldn't control. or that this time it wouldn't be different.

and no, i cannot imagine forgetting.

but yet, there are so many who say that's how it went...dunno how it's possible once you have accepted it way down deep.

i do wonder, though, what happens with Alzheimer's or other dementias, and haven't found someone able to answer it. my mother has dementia, and she's not an alcoholic. at family events, she will drink a beer when it's offered to her and has no memory of never ever liking, wanting or drinking beer. she used to be repulsed by the very thought. but now, she has some, says it's good....this worries me. not for her, but for me. not much, but it's in the back of my mind.

i know it's not the kind of forgetting you're talking about, though.

gaffo

I know this isn't what you mean but after almost three years without a drink it's nice to forget that I'm an alcoholic on the wagon sometimes. When I was a drunk I had to think about drinking all the time then when I quit I had to think about not drinking all the time and I honestly thought that it might eventually drive me crazy. Now I finally feel a little peace, as far as drinking goes.

That said, I take all the stories from the old timers about going back out very very seriously. I will never forget that.

instant

I know I am an alcoholic and I am fortunate to have over three years sober. It was hard fought for. I am also grateful that I can go many days and barely think about "alcohol" or my "alcohol situation" "recovery" etc. it is easy to forget what a blessing this is, when my mind turns to the latest "immediate" problem issue, drama or goes chasing the mirage of dreams that lead to frustration.

Coming to SR most days keeps me grounded- it is easy to forget

MelindaFlowers

Yeah, I never forgot. I used to want to ignore it until tomorrow because I always lived in tomorrow. What could one more day hurt? Finally, one more day hurt enough to stop. I'm done trying that experiment.

Ken33xx

I don't take my sobriety lightly and have never stopped attending meetings.

For me it's the fellowship and shares which help remind me why I don't drink.

AlexThedude

That's the entire cornerstone of my addictions... Being convinced to forget that it's a problem... It is strange, but so easy since the substances aid in the amnesia.

Gottalife

My memory was not a reliable defense against the first drink. Its effectiveness could sometimes be measured in hours, swear off in the morning then it would be around drink 5 in the evening that I would suddenly remember I wasn't going to drink. Too late by then. That is what it meant to me to have no effective defense against the first drink.

Now, as an AA recovered alcoholic with a few years up, my situation is best described in the tenth step promises in the AA big book.

"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."

I try to stay in fit spirirual condition by helping others (in a modest way), and God takes care of the rest. I don't think about drinking either way, I don't feel like i am walking on egg shells, that today could be the day I pick up, instead I feel I am on the right track and the way of life AA has taught me has put me in the position where the problem no longer exists.

Venecia

When I first joined SR, I knew nothing about the vocabulary, acronyms and phrases attached to sobriety and recovery.

It was a leap for me to buy in to the human attributes ascribed to addiction, including the AV. But I soon began to recognize the AV role in my addiction and it helped greatly.

From time to time, you'll see folks on SR share the famous Keyser Soze quote from "The Usual Suspects": "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." The analogy, that your addictive voice will tell you you "weren't that bad" or "anyone who can make it a few months or a year clearly wasn't an alcoholic in the first place," is one of the most insightful points I've read in recovery.

That's hit me from time to time. A couple days after my father died at the start of summer, one of the old neighborhood kids showed up at our house with a six-pack. "Hey (Venecia), I figured you could use a cold one."

And I gotta tell you, there were a few seconds there where I found myself thinking I was alone in my parents home and would be for at least another hour, and could down a good portion of that six-pack myself.

But it didn't last long. I knew that taking the beer would have been a ticket (perhaps one-way) to my self-destruction. I thanked my old friend, casually mentioned I no longer drink and told him to give the beer a good home.

I have SR to thank for that. That's why I commit a little time each day to reading the posts -- so I *never* forget I was an alcoholic. It's why I remain active in my SR class. It's why I set aside an hour or two each week to participate in our online meetings.

There are always posts from those who left -- and fortunately came back -- thinking they could "moderate." Or that they no longer needed the support and, importantly, awareness SR provides. The great thing about SR is that everyone is always welcome back.

I think I'll just stick around. This site has given me the strength I needed to stay sober and now it gives me awareness necessary to grow in recovery.

I don't want to ever forget.

freshstart57

I will never forget that I do not now drink, or ever will drink. As for forgetting I used to be an alcoholic, I do THAT all the time. Keeping that in the forefront of my mind just doesn't seem to be a healthy thing to do.

silentrun

My brain tries to use the real alcoholic excuse on me. I once had an off switch and when it came right down to it I was not willing to continue drinking despite consequences. I realized what was going on and quit. Startling proof that I can control my drinking!
What really happened was I continued to drink 10 years after I knew something was wrong. I spent the last 2-3years in a deep depression with the only thing I looked forward to was getting drunk. I was trying to control my drinking by keeping my purchases to a pint then having to rotate liquor stores because I was too ashamed to buy a pint from the same store every night. Because if it was there I couldn't stop until it was all gone. I spent the first year of sobriety bouncing from PAWS episode to PAWS episode.
Sometimes my mind will try to play tricks on me regarding what really happened. I hear that is typical of addict thinking. Luckily I react with horror over it.

fotographia

I may have had this happen to me at times. I have two years of sobriety. I do however keep in mind the negative things I had happen from alcohol, and I see how alcoholism effects friends and other people I have met.