jdooner

In my experience most people desire relief from their pain. They don't want change, they don't desire to be awakened. Why? The World is not always rosy when you tear down the illusions we create.

A nice definition of an awakened person: a person who no longer marches to the drums of society, a person who dances to the tune of the music that springs up from within.

soberlicious

I disagree. I've heard many times that an AA meeting is just a cross section of society and that the problematic behaviors you see there are everywhere. I have not found that to be true at all. It is my personal experience that I have witnessed more weird stuff at meetings than anywhere else. I have occasionally had people approach or cross personal boundaries in other settings, but no where near the frequency I've seen at meetings.

desypete

hi i am desy i am an alcoholic

i drank and it got worse
i prayed to god and he saved me
i got a big book and a sponsor and they helped me,
i did the 12 steps and found god
i now get on my hands and knees and pray to god and hand my will and my life over

applause please !!!!!!!!!!!! : )

if you think meetings sharing like that will help someone like me then not a chance i would be back out there drinking and probably dead today

now if people talk from there heart and give out examples i can identify with then i might just listen as there now talking about me except there not talking about me at all.

so do i share like the rest of the aa parrots or do i share from the heart ?

i know what way will give out id and what way will make people come once and not return

when i help a new comer do i tell them not to pick up the first drink a day at a time ? or do i try to show them how its done ? as its what i had to do and i can show them what i did

Nuudawn

^^^ this. Love it JD.

biminiblue

desy, I think you have a valid point. There needs to be identification for the non-believers and for those who have lost it all.

There also needs to be identification for those who are seeking a spiritual guide such as "God" or "HP" or sponsor.

I think where we disagree is that you preach too - it's just a different sermon, and I don't think you understand that you also sound pretty evangelical. It's all in what works for each person. Live and let live. I think that's what your basic tenet is, but it gets lost when you continue to beat the drum. It sounds more like, Live and let live, but Imma argue longer so if I get the last word that means I win, right?

RobbyRobot

Desy,

You seem to define what you do best for yourself by claiming what others do for themselves doesn't work well for you. I don't compare my results with others. I do compare my results with my experiences so as to stay on the level with my life journey. I also learn from others as I go, and I don't necessarily need to be in agreement with them to learn about whatever.

I'm not much one to be in lock-step with anybody, you know? When I try to appreciate your differences, I also find I'm in an awkward place of also making allowance for your constant comparing of what not only works well for you, but also your opinions of how others who don't do as you do are in your opinion missing out on the big picture. For me, it gets old. Nonetheless, carry on with what works for you. No worries here. There's room enough for all of us no matter our journey in sobriety.

desypete

well i know i am so very passionate about it that much is true and also i dont wish to sound evangelical

a typical meeting in my area is people sharing from there hearts, people do share how they have god in there life and we all are happy for them, me included as i dont care less how people get to aa or how they do it so long as it works for them

my own passion is of course for the people in the meetings who took care of me, and the meetings themselves, as if there was no meetings i wouldn't be here today

now i dont try to drown someone in aa i offer it out as the place i know worked for me

i dont try to take ownership of people in aa, i dont try to become a great wise profit who can churn out words of wisdom faster than i could put on a condom : )

what i get cross about is when i see or hear of people in aa who do try to control
like in nudawns post about the guy who was so pushy etc we have them over here in the uk and some of them have actually ruined peoples lives as they will not come back to aa because of them and there following they have

again i am so lucky to be in aa where its middle of the road were god lovers, hp lovers, chair leg lovers, long nose lovers, or people with 2 heads all get along and help each other, we have a laugh and enjoy being sober and we will all help a new comer or most do

this is the aa i would wish to promote to anyone, but like i said i am well aware of the other side of aa the solution types armed with books and there condemning all alcoholics who dont do it there way

these types of guys forced the closure of a few aa meetings in my area as they would come in groups of 6 or more and take over the meeting once the floor was open out would come there books and they would bore us all to death with there regular routine, there leader would be very happy with them and it caused uproar in meetings

regular group members left and so there would be no one to take over the meetings, so the meetings closed and still these aa gangs would march on to the next meeting happy with what they was doing, as to them they was doing it aa real way and they had god on there side and the rest of us would all drink again

most aa rooms around the uk are nothing like this, there more open minded and fair.

Aellyce

JD and all:
"A nice definition of an awakened person: a person who no longer marches to the drums of society, a person who dances to the tune of the music that springs up from within."

I think that's how I started out in my youth, that's the person I was until ~my early-mid 30's when alcohol started to be a problem for me. It really harmed that ^^ person. Drinking made me a caricature of myself, and not a good one. So for me the task I set to myself in sobriety is to re-find that myself... and maybe also to take it to a further level I have known yet.

Ken33xx

I read it (awakened person) as someone who can deal with life outside their comfort zone.

desypete

very much so ken, i totally agree, its so easy when things are going good to have peace in life and to be able to act all calm and serenity seems to be a gift lol
then real life hits home and suddenly we have to deal with it, i can never remember quotes that would inspire at times like that, i would just remember what ever happens to not pick up that first drink,

whoever passed on those words of wisdom certainly knew all about alcoholics and how they will behave when times get hard,

dsmaxis10

Even thow you have two months you have something to offer a new comer as little as showing were the coffe is and how you got two months when she might only have two days. That guy was out of line I say you handle it well congrats on two months.

neferkamichael

Nuudawn, please never forget when you are in an AA meeting you are still in a room full of drunks. Rootin for ya.

silentrun

I caught myself doing that too. I ended up getting frustrated and angry. That gets me nowhere. If you really believe Live and Let Live that doesn't exclude someone who doesn't subscribe to Live and Let Live. It means leave everyone where you found them. It means being able to say I love haters. I'm not there yet.

desypete

when i seen the guy post up that aa meetings will not keep anyone sober, i set about to show him how wrong he is
i posted up my own experience of were i have come from and how aa helped me and kept me sober.

hopefully now the guy might think again and see just how much the meetings can and do keep people sober or not as the case may be ?

unless of course what you want me to do is say the things you want me to say ? as we are all different, and if you want to work me out then first walk in my shoes then see how it works, from that angle

live and let live sure, but it doesnt mean i dont have a right to let statements like aa meetings will not keep anyone sober go unchallenged does it ?

soberlicious

That's not even what he said though. Read for comprehension.

bigsombrero

Ugh! This makes my blood boil, Nuu! This has happened to me as well, and it more or less turned me away from AA and led me to seek a more comfortable plan. I was about 6 months sober and I was at a small gathering for a Sober Super Bowl Party. I was told "you're not doing enough", and told that I "NEEDED" to be at XYZ the next day, etc, etc. There's nothing worse than having someone else make you feel uncomfortable in your OWN RECOVERY. It's rude, invasive, and in my case it soured me on the whole thing.

For what it's worth, I think these type of people are lonely. They see a nice-looking girl or guy that they'd like to add to their lives, and they know you're vulnerable and will listen to what they say. After all, they are "veterans". It's predatory, to be honest. And it doesn't represent most AA'ers, but sadly there's always a few. Maybe you can make some friends at AA and then start meeting them elsewhere, like just for coffee, away from meetings?

Soberwolf

I seen a lot of this in aa not as ferocious as seeing that I would have a polite conversation with that person and try to make him see the horrendous he made not aa

Find it hard that no one has said maybe something should get said to such person as the post states staying away from that mtn and that seems common except that person stays and the same keeps happening to others and does aa really want that image getting projected this whole 13 stepping thing is sick and so are the people who practice it I'm not bashing aa but if people are allowed to do such things esp at mtns then aa should take some form of action saying things like stick close to the females sounds scary

I hate things like this but aa didn't make these ppl and anything I used to find good at a mtn these such ppl took it away

desypete

i stand corrected so will post up a copy of what he said word for word

You don't get sober sitting at A A meetings, no one does!


sorry i got the wording wrong, so lets hope my post with my experience has made him rethink that statement : )

soberlicious

You got more than the wording wrong. If you read his comment within the context of his entire post, you might see the point he was trying to make. Sometimes reading things requires being able to infer shades of meaning. Reading things over and over and thinking about them from different angles might help.

Soberwolf

I think aa needs to be separated from the conversation as for parrots I disagree yeah they say the saying but in all fairness there good things to say let's remember this is 1 person not the aa mtn itself I think something should get done as I find it unacceptable and I'm sure everyone does as well

Aa helped save my life I love aa for that