HopefulFaithful

Just wondering. Instead of trying to run from my feelings... I do cry... but I am crying too much... missing someone too much...

Gilmer

Go ahead and cry it all out as much as you need to. If you're like me, eventually you'll be tried of crying, and it will stop. Meanwhile, divert yourself with positive activities. Go to meetings; take walks; take classes in a hobby you have always wanted to try. Do kind things for yourself.

SonomaGal

Crying is healthy and a much healthier release than the dumbing/numbing effects of alcohol. But I agree to also try doing things that make you feel good - movies, walks, meetings, friends, hobbies.

Soberpotamus

I cried a lot at first. I grieved my mom's death early in my sobriety.

Crying is healing. As long as you aren't going into a severe depression, I'd see it as allowing your real emotions to surface, letting them out, and healing from it.

BrodyCrystal4

Jennie is spot on. If it was a huge loss in your life, you should mourn. Mourning is how you process the loss - and mourning itself is a process. Maybe, you were using alcohol to hide from the pain and keep from processing it?

If you are crying all the time, that's not good. you also need to get things done, and be productive in your life. There is a time (and skill) to put your wounded heart on the back burner. Your typical guy (which I am not) is very good at this. They just put up walls, don't acknowledge it, don't think about it, and just keep their head down and focus on the goal. In small doses, this can be a useful practice. There are times to deal with your emotions, and there are times to deal with your responsibilities. There are times to open your heart, and there are times to pent up and will yourself into being numb. This balance should eventually pay off with time. I can personally attest to that.

Keep a journal. Write it all down. Write it all out. Ask yourself the tough questions. Hang around people. Observe them. Sometimes, something will occur to you, and you can relate it back to your past relationships. Take walks, and reflect. In fact, if you are able, jogging is pretty good at clearing your head. Something about the fresh air, and the endorphins it releases (6-18 hours after the run). If you haven't run before, it is normal to hate it while you are doing it, but I've been amazed how many inexplicable good moods follow afterwards.

Good luck. hope that helps.

soberclover

I cry at the most random times now. I think it is because I'm finally able to process so much of what I didn't before as I numbed myself with alcohol. I put my cat down almost 2 years ago and I found myself in tears today as I was making my bed and found myself gazing at a box I have her ashes in. I think crying is healing.

Soberpotamus

I found myself randomly crying like this too, Soberclover. It was seemingly random... really strange too... I'd feel these bits and pieces of things, snatches of emotions. And have these quick flashbacks from years ago. I think I was processing all the unprocessed emotions! I had somewhat of a traumatic childhood and I'm sure there's lots of buried feelings from all those years, you know? Since I started drinking heavily in my early 20's I'm guessing that I'd have processed all of it much sooner... oh well. At least we are able to process it now

NightsWatch

First of all, bravo on crying instead of drinking! It hurts without any way to numb the pain, but as we all know, there is no shortcuts to resolving our emotions of attachment. It takes a lot of courage to face them head-on.

I used to cry AND drink. Losing people we love, whether through death or break-ups, is one of the biggest challenges in life and something I will probably never get used to. Crying is a normal reaction to loss, so I don't worry about it too much. One thing I try now though is to ruminate less. It's fine to "wonder" or think about a loved one who has passed or moved on, but be careful about dwelling too long in that space. Life goes on and we miss out when we look back for too long instead of looking forward.

SoberHoopsFan

If I cried over friendships/relationships lost because of my drinking, I would probably never stop (bc it's so many). It's OK to let your emotions out a bit, but for me I have to look forward and not backward. Looking backward is trouble for me, looking forward the future in sobriety seems bright.

Pipefish

Feeling our feelings is a brave thing to do. So many times, I have opted for distractions, but now find that experiencing sadness for example, instead of distracting or running from it is refreshing, a relief. Often after crying, it feels like a weight lifted....another piece of that particular grief gone, let go.

A distinction for me is in the nature of the experience.....an emotion is literally something that moves us. In the same way as laughter bubbles up, so can tears, & depending on what is being grieved, that can happen a great deal, at least it does for me.That is healthy.

It only becomes unhealthy for me when it isn't actually sadness as an emotion, and is instead being miserable as a way of being.....being so owned by and attached to that feeling of misery, that I can't appreciate the beautiful sunset, or how glorious my cats are, or engage with anything that would usually be meaningful to me. That kind of loss of perspective signals something else is going on, & it's important to care enough about ourselves to explore that with outside help if needed.

Joni Mitchell said it, ergo it must be true.....laughing & crying is the same release :-)

Wish you well