What do you do when you're unhappy?
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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What do you do when you're unhappy?
Pema Chodron Heart advice
August 13, 2014
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE UNHAPPY?
Sit quietly for a few minutes and become mindful of your breath as it goes in and out. Then contemplate what you do when you’re unhappy or dissatisfied and want to feel better. Even make a list if you want to. Then ask yourself: Does it work? Has it ever worked? Does it soothe the pain? Does it escalate the pain? If you’re really honest, you’ll come up with some pretty interesting observations.
These are the questions I ask myself when I want to drink to get rid of emotional pain. The relief is not real and does not last. It definitely escalates the pain. I used to think it worked but I was dead wrong. It's never worked. Drinking only caused more heartache for me and those around me.
I'm grateful I got this heart advice email from Pema this morning. Yesterday I was in so much pain and cried almost all day. I wanted to drink so badly, but I didn't. Made it through and I feel better today. I am grateful for that too.
August 13, 2014
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE UNHAPPY?
Sit quietly for a few minutes and become mindful of your breath as it goes in and out. Then contemplate what you do when you’re unhappy or dissatisfied and want to feel better. Even make a list if you want to. Then ask yourself: Does it work? Has it ever worked? Does it soothe the pain? Does it escalate the pain? If you’re really honest, you’ll come up with some pretty interesting observations.
These are the questions I ask myself when I want to drink to get rid of emotional pain. The relief is not real and does not last. It definitely escalates the pain. I used to think it worked but I was dead wrong. It's never worked. Drinking only caused more heartache for me and those around me.
I'm grateful I got this heart advice email from Pema this morning. Yesterday I was in so much pain and cried almost all day. I wanted to drink so badly, but I didn't. Made it through and I feel better today. I am grateful for that too.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Being grateful helps me tremendously as well. I firmly believe that part of my drinking was a quest to feel good all the time. I now realize that life itself is a struggle and that there will always be times when we are unhappy, upset, tired, etc. Learning to accept those times for what they are and deal with them is simply a requrement of being human.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 7
my new tool is to stop thinking about me and how I feel and just do*.
*pretend there is a fire under my bottom and get up, move away from where I am, go outside, look out the window, read something from a 12 step book, take an action. look in the mirror and make ugly face, watch comedy, remember that this feeling is temporary.
the worst thing I can do is to repeat in my head, "I'm unhappy."
*pretend there is a fire under my bottom and get up, move away from where I am, go outside, look out the window, read something from a 12 step book, take an action. look in the mirror and make ugly face, watch comedy, remember that this feeling is temporary.
the worst thing I can do is to repeat in my head, "I'm unhappy."
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Reno,nv
Posts: 64
Hi Readerbaby
I went through this exact thing Yesterday. The only thing different is I didn't want to drink. That was not an option. It sucked very bad. I posted it right in this room and received so much support and love from my S.R. family. It was amazing to realize that I didn't have to go through this miserable time alone. I'm in the infant stages of sobriety and I know for a fact I can't do this alone and will not even try. When I decided to finally wave the white flag I checked my ego at the door and opened my mind and will do whatever it takes...
You have 100% of my support...
Nvguy
I went through this exact thing Yesterday. The only thing different is I didn't want to drink. That was not an option. It sucked very bad. I posted it right in this room and received so much support and love from my S.R. family. It was amazing to realize that I didn't have to go through this miserable time alone. I'm in the infant stages of sobriety and I know for a fact I can't do this alone and will not even try. When I decided to finally wave the white flag I checked my ego at the door and opened my mind and will do whatever it takes...
You have 100% of my support...
Nvguy
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
I sit with it, too, but I also find a run outside in nature helps immeasurably. If it is not running day, I just go sit outside, and put my hand on a tree or the ground. Being in nature sucks out much of the pain. And I draw and journal.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 639
This thread is what I needed to see tonight. I'm getting close to 10 months sober and this week has been one of those where I feel like the world is saying "Since that didn't get him to drink, let's see if this does". For everyone that tells me how good I'm doing, it's seemed lately like there's someone else wanting to kick me in the balls. Sorry for the expression. I met with my sponsor tonight and that helped. I'm about to turn my resentments over to God and wake up with no expectations. Thank you.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 125
Video games, reading, sex, study. Art film has recently been an interesting and distracting pastime. Although, if you're prone to depression or anxiety, I would cautiously encourage you to avoid the works of Ingmar Bergman. 
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 6
I am going through the same problem, I feel unhappy at night, it is when I want to drink the most. As of right now I am reading Bill Bryson "A short history of nearly Everything" and the stories people share on this site. It helps to keep my mind busy.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by readerbaby71 
Pema Chodron Heart advice
August 13, 2014
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE UNHAPPY?
Sit quietly for a few minutes and become mindful of your breath as it goes in and out. Then contemplate what you do when you’re unhappy or dissatisfied and want to feel better. Even make a list if you want to. Then ask yourself: Does it work? Has it ever worked? Does it soothe the pain? Does it escalate the pain? If you’re really honest, you’ll come up with some pretty interesting observations.
These are the questions I ask myself when I want to drink to get rid of emotional pain. The relief is not real and does not last. It definitely escalates the pain. I used to think it worked but I was dead wrong. It's never worked. Drinking only caused more heartache for me and those around me.
I'm grateful I got this heart advice email from Pema this morning. Yesterday I was in so much pain and cried almost all day. I wanted to drink so badly, but I didn't. Made it through and I feel better today. I am grateful for that too.
August 13, 2014
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE UNHAPPY?
Sit quietly for a few minutes and become mindful of your breath as it goes in and out. Then contemplate what you do when you’re unhappy or dissatisfied and want to feel better. Even make a list if you want to. Then ask yourself: Does it work? Has it ever worked? Does it soothe the pain? Does it escalate the pain? If you’re really honest, you’ll come up with some pretty interesting observations.
These are the questions I ask myself when I want to drink to get rid of emotional pain. The relief is not real and does not last. It definitely escalates the pain. I used to think it worked but I was dead wrong. It's never worked. Drinking only caused more heartache for me and those around me.
I'm grateful I got this heart advice email from Pema this morning. Yesterday I was in so much pain and cried almost all day. I wanted to drink so badly, but I didn't. Made it through and I feel better today. I am grateful for that too.
Because no matter what happens as long as I don't pick up a drink I've got my sobriety.
And that still means a lot to me.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 176
Today I had my strongest urge to drink since I quit and I tried to remember all the things that have kept me sober. As I struggled, I realized how easy it was to stay sober when the urge to drink was a mere whisper rather than insistent hounding. So I came here and the Pema advice you shared is helpful. Thank you.
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