tornrealization

I decided to be sober last Monday. Hubby balked. Then we talked about our Labor Day trip, South Dakota. I suggested this week, I don't go. I'm not fan of being trapped in van with 5 people. Plus, a few nights were dedicated to getting blasted. I was game, then . . .

I had a small accident. Fighting the ticket per cop suggestion. Drama hits a head that my trial is during vacation. So is the start of my next masters class. And the start of my sobriety. I said can't go to vacation. Hubby freaks out. Says he's worried I'll binge like never before and such.

I worry I will fail being sober. Two days of hell, I get a lawyer. Changing trial date is something lawyer can do.

So fine, now what, I drink. Dumb.

I googled my arse off, what can I do in deadwood sober?

We never fight, man. Now I'm on this trip, and I screwed up tonight but I want to be sober for the trip.

ScottFromWI

I find it helpful to separate drinking from other activities. Where I happened to be, what I happened to be doing, or what time happened to be was really irrelevant.....I drank regardless.

The fact that you are going on vacation is in a sense irrelevant too, because you haven't figured out how to stay sober even in your everyday surroundings. That should be your focus...how to stay sober today and how to cope with life without drinking. Once you learn that it will apply no mattrer where you go.

Dee74

Hi Torn

I think you need to get more options.
When my only option for responding to things was drinking, I drank.

Try other options - if reaching out here before you drink isn't enough, then maybe you'll have to try face to face support again.

I just refuse to believe the only avenue you have is to drink. That's just not true

D

tornrealization

Yes, you are right. I hate you are right. I know I shouldn't go on this trip, but hubby is so emotional, but it was I who drank. Bah.

ScottFromWI

So make a plan for today to not drink. The rest will work itself out in time.

tornrealization

Wow, I feel stupid. Drinking, posting about not drinking. What was I thinking?

Sorry guys.

Tamerua

A couple things, first post away. We are here to help and bounce things off of.

Then, if this is a planned drinking event, why go? Why put yourself through the torture? It could make you either decide to drink or to be resentful that everyone else gets to drink, or at least that is how I would have felt that early on.

It sounds like you are considering going because your husband wants you to go? Why did he balk at you deciding to be sober?

Jsober

Don't be sorry. This can be just part of your path to sobriety. I failed a numerous times early on until I made some changes. What changes can you make to stay sober?

Hawkeye13

Only one saloon, where Wild Bill was shot, mentioned here.

Lots of tours and sites

23 Things To Do in Deadwood, South Dakota

Just don't drink one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

You can be sober

LBrain

thanks, hawkeye, I was thinking when I passed through deadwood a couple years ago I wished I had more time. Plus there is a good trout stream/river that runs right by there.
Torn, You had an out because of hearing yet you changed it to attend something you said you didn't want to do? Now you are looking for a way out?
What worries me is you getting absolute support from the peeps who will be with you. Are they going to help to make sure you do not drink?

Dee74

That's what this place is for Torn
D

tornrealization

That's the thing. I will not have support and my court out was making my husband depressed. He was there as a kid and really wants me to go. The suggestion that I read alone in hotel room while they drink, seems reasonable to him. I tried to explain I will be a sober handful, but I'd also miss seeing the mountains. My husband is clever enough to know I wanted out, but then the dang lawyer said it was easy to reschedule. Doh!

DoubleBarrel

Deadwood is beautiful. Go for a hike up to the cemetery. It's a really nice place. There's ice cream shops, coffee shops, hotels, and you can drive to some great parks all around the area. You will be right in the black hills. Needles park is amazing. Awesome food in rapid city, shopping, it's got a great artsy downtown, with cool sculptures of all the presidents. If you can get to Custer state park you can see live bison, and all kinds of amazing scenery.
There are two notable caves in the area, jewel cave and wind cave.