Windancer

I haven't been sober long. But Im not giving up and I know I can do this.

I am quitting because:
-I am an alcoholic and cannot drink responsibly.
-I have become violent when hammered, and verbally abusive to my loved ones.
-I have feel very suicidal when drunk, and that is very scary.
-I have already had 2 DUIs. I don't need to be a threat to any innocent people.
-Im worth more than this sad addicted existence revolving around alcohol.
-Ive been ruining my health.
-Im sick of my loved ones being worried about me, and fed up with me.
-I am capable of so much more than this.
-My loved ones and animal need me sober, not drunk and therefore dysfunctional and unavailable.
-I already have anxiety and depression issues. Drinking does NOT help this at all.
-I am sick and tired of making excuses for myself. I know better than that, and my loved ones deserve better.
-I have lost so much already and caused enough damage. Enough is enough.
-I need to get off this vicous cycle of low self esteem, self hatred, drinking, and doing it all over again.
-I KNOW it IS possible to live a healthy, fulfilling life without booze. Many people do it...even folks who didn't ever have a drinking problem. As much as it may have felt like it, alcohol is NOT a necessity of life.
-Im not 18 anymore and don't need to act like one.
-I refuse to continue to be in "victim mode".
-I would love to have kids one day but before I let that happen I must prove to myself I can be sober and stable.
-Again, im about to lose my relationship if I continue. Yet I know my desire to quit MUST come from within and for myself, as well as for him.
-Im certainly not the only one in the world with this problem, and like many others, I too can overcome it.

If anyone else would like to share why they need to continue their recovery or quit, feel free .

Dee74

How are you doing today WD?

D

Windancer

Not too bad Dee, all things considered. The boyfriend is fed up with me and for now we are giving each other space. I took your advice and set some very clear boundaries with mom and bf. It wasn't a good weekend. But again, im dusting myself off. I really feel finished with this. I know ill have ups and downs, but im determined to get over this. Im looking forward to feeling better....with some more sober time under my belt.

Windancer

I keep going back and forth between crying by myself, and forcing myself to try and be positive and determined. I guess its ok to cry. It can be a very lonely thing in early recovery.

Johno1967

I'll continue with my recovery because I choose a meaningful life rather than a meaningless existence and lonely death.

I looked myself in the mirror and said the things you said many times and carried on drinking. Took me years to finally hit rock bottom and find the meaning of what it's like to face a loss more important to me than booze.

Are you an alcoholic?

Windancer

Yes, no doubt, I am an alcoholic. But I refuse to be defined by that anymore. Just because that is true does not mean that's the only thing I have to be

trachemys

Powerful stuff, WD.

Windancer

I just need to remember ALL of this and the utter danger drinking again will cause. When my AV tries to speak up, ill try my darndest to ignore it and remind myself of this post.

Johno1967

Well said and absolutely true.

Hawkeye13

Hope things are going well WD

You are quite right--your past isn't your future if you choose better for yourself

gaffo

I'm not going to drink again because I've been there and done that. There is nothing for me to learn from drinking, nothing new to experience. The more I don't drink (nearly three years!) the less I enjoy the company of drinkers, the culture of drinking, and the idiotic reward/regret cycle that begins to seem like the sun rising and setting every day. Quitting has been the hardest yet most rewarding thing that I have ever done for myself and the people around me. My young kids will never know me as a drunk. I won't every have to worry about getting a DUI. My physical health will deteriorate at a normal rate. I've become unstuck.

2muchpain

I went to an AA meeting today. A women, probably in her 20's, has stage 4 cirrhosis and is on a waiting list. Sad.

MelindaFlowers

Great list Windancer!

Thank you for posting it. I can relate to every single one. I especially like the one about how alcohol is not a necessity in life. Lots of people don't even drink. Many do on occasion. I used to worry that I wouldn't be happy without drinking but then I would ask myself: What are the habits and actions of the happiest people I know? Obviously abusing alcohol is not one of them. Thank you again for your wonderful list!

Frankynstein

The lists of your reasons are the same as to what I feel and what triggers me to fully acknowledge that I have a problem with alcohol. It is never been easy. I had to sacrifice my relationship with my family to get away from temptation. I needed to do it for myself because I don't wanna live all my life depress and sad. It is an awful thing. To continue to fight and struggle with my problem I had to learn some sober and healthful techniques from drug and alcohol outpatient recovery. It has given me a bigger chance to recover from my addiction. And in one word I could say that it was really worth it and i am proud to say that quitting drinking is the best decision I have made. I wish the same for all of you that one day we'll all be sober and happy.

IOAA2

Hi. Unfortunately/fortunately because of the average alcoholics poor record at recovery many hospitals do NOT put us very high on the list. I know circumstances vary but that’s the way it is.
I post this to inform people that we face serious consequences with the intake of alcohol.
BE WELL

yeahgr8

It took me getting into recovery to realise that drinking always was an option no matter what I had said or promised and that what I needed to figure our is what were the perceived benefits I thought having a drink have me, what perceived losses not drinking would take from me then put all these ideas down on paper and then get help in order to break these mid perceptions of mine that were based in no reality whatsoever. As soon as I could see no benefit to drinking it was still an option but one that I can perceive no benefit in doing. Does that make sense?

jdooner

You might have addictive behaviors, as well as alcoholic behaviors but that is your "me" not your "I." In other words if you stop drinking you are still you. So you are much more than an alcoholic. You are more than your thoughts and your actions. I am not sure who you are, that is for you to define on your journey but I think its important to pay homage to your addictions but not be limited by their scope and someone else's definitions of them.

overandoverture

Well done, WD. You sound very much like someone I care about a lot, who also has depression and anxiety issues and gets angry when drunk. I wish you all the best in your recovery

Windancer

That is so sad. A grim reminder to realize what more we can all lose.

Windancer

Thank you overandoverture I am doing well so far!