Not caring..lack of character or spiritual growth?
 

I had a thought the other night while trying to fall asleep. I realized I've gotten to a point where the fear in my life is very low. What I mean by that is I was thinking of possible short term and long term scenarios for me....I thought of bad scenarios like living on the street or having no money..I felt like i could handle it if it came to be. Of course i wouldn't want that to happen but i wouldn't fall

apart mentally or emotionally. I would be alive and that would be ok for me...I really don't care about things I used to. I gave up some passions for peace...I feel like i tapped out the emotional response button...I don't think I'm cold though...this state of mind which might be considered a lack of character or

passion is a place where drinking doesn't even come to my mind..I don't need it or even want it...there is something going on besides my surface emotions and personality..if not I could never feel this way...something that's hard to explain..nothing to do with biology or psychology..

If my Dad were still around he would say i was lazy with no drive if i told him this....

I have heard it called detachment--and in many spiritual traditions it is a highly prized state. A lot of people strive hard for entire lifetimes to put off the cares of this world. It is pretty cool that this is just a natural outcropping of your sobriety!

Let the image of your father drift further and further from your mind!

Maybe God has a less traditional path for you than for him.

How does passion relate to not caring?

lack of passion for things.....there is a weird space there sorry.

I seem to has lost my fear too Cabo. Where you said you could handle what happened but would still try to avoid a negative outcome sums it up. I think it's a good thing. For me it is earning my own trust back.

Have you been sober very long, cabo?

There's lots of adjusting to do, ups and downs with PAWS as well.

I'm not sure if I have no fear, but I definitely feel able to deal with life now. And I enjoy life.

Ive been sober over 16 months....I don't know how much i buy into paws...all these theoretical syndroms

I'm not so sure either. Maybe I've been lucky but I feel much less fearful. I think maybe it's because I'm more confident in my decisions now. I'm also happier in general due I think to lack of dread, hope and a more positive attitude.

Yes, I guess unless you experience it, it's hard to understand and easier to dismiss if it hasn't happened to you.

Congrats on 16 months.

i can be pretty cold. In some ways my emotions are shut down do i dont get stung. and in other ways I just dont care I've been through so much that i'm like meh whatever life will just go on as it always does.

I dont have a ton of ambition to do anything further with my life. I'm oddly becoming more content with just how my life is. I'm ok to find happyness just looking out the window and seeing the view i dont need to strive for more money or a bigger house or something.

I was raised that nothing is ever good enough and that we should always strive for more. I think that mentality backfired for me.

Now I think whatever is is good enough. For example I can go for a run and think was that good enough should i have tired to go faster longer further? then I have to come back and say it is what it is its what i did today and its good enough in what it was / is.

I dont want to work in my field anymore I have no more interest in it. I maintain my job for the income at the moment but if i loose it i'll be in trouble I dont have the skills to een get another job in this field even if i wanted one. I'm ok with that. But like you my father would probably also tell me i'm lazy and i need to get off my butt and get a job in the field as its what i know etc... and I think what at the expense of my happiness and sanity? never mind the fact that I lack the skills to even get a job cause I have nto kept up with things.

It bothers me to the extent that I feel i have to justify myself to people who dont understand all thats going through my head. But if its just up to me? I dont care I'm fine with bagging groceries for a living or walking the streets I'll do my best to bloom where i'm planted and find happiness however i can.

I could be rich and miserable. I could be poor and happy as a clam or vice versa go figure.

I think you want to believe this because it supports a spirtual plane that you desire to get too. However, your posts don't support this conclusion from my perspective.

I would be careful you are not lying to yourself. I know this was a challenge for me. Denial can run deep and trick the best of us.

You have a strong need to be right and this has not changed since I first started paying attention to your posts. In fact, I have not seen much change in your tenor at all over the past eight months. I would be suspect that you are able to achieve this spiritual nirvana without mcuh change in what we can see but perhaps we only get a small glimpse of the ereal Cabo here?

I think this is a question only you can answer for yourself Cabo.

Complacent?

Complacency is defined as "calm contentment; satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies."

When people move in this mental atmosphere of complacency, they are essentially cut off from their real selves and fall into a monotonous routine, the same old thing day in and day out. Life is movement, but complacent people are, in effect, in an arrested condition.

oh jd my posts aren't always my real life..they are thoughts and way i deal with things..i have had spiritual experiences in the past...I don't care to use spirituality as a way to be right or better then somebody

i don't care if you like me, respect me or think im hot stuff...i just wish you would see the reflection you make....i say what i think..i don't care if it bothers somebody...thats all

i don't know what your motives are but you sure seem to be threatned by a lot of stuff and jump to conclusions.....

this post is an honest thought...i have no reason to make up something like this..ive had feelings like this before...i know when someone talks of philosophical or spiritual things it makes them seem high and fluenty...anyway i was wondering if anybody can relate not so much if they want to tell me im full of sh t...

not complacent....just not caring about if the sht hits the fan or not....i don't know how to describe this...but hey maybe you are right its just a character flaw or laziness..

You've used this same reasoning on me when I too have commented on a thread of yours. I wasn't threatened then, and I seriously believe JD is not threatened either.

You seem to be unable to take what you dish out, Cabo... that is if you are being honest...

Honesty works for everyone equally...

:)

lol i take it all the time..like i just did....i don't care

i don't think our idea or experiences in spirituality are the same which is fine..but if you want to complain or scold me..at least bring it to pm before the thread has no chance

you think I'd argue with you in pm?s

Its not about scolding (which suggests your as like a child to me?) and it isn't about complaining either (which suggests you missed my meaning)

its about your not able to take what you give, okay?

I don't know when i said somebody can't say anything they wanted to....when someone attacks me and not an idea(not you) i will tell them they are wrong and that is silly....thats all i ever done...i want pople to say whatever you want..personal attacks are something else....or telling somebody who they are..I have never done that...i wont..im really sorry robby if you don't like my posts..but thats too bad...i never attacked you..in fact i like your posts and told you that on a couple of occassions...and another thing is if you think you are right there is nothing wrong with telling your opinion..anybody..there is nothing non spiritual about that

im not going to argue anymore..nobody had to like this post..but i thought maybe be able to get more interesting feedback

Dee or whoever is moderating can close this thread...if they want